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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I haven't really felt like sex much - the first trimester quease pretty much squashed any desire. I psyched myself up last night and DH and I were fooling around. He started playing with my clitoris and although it usually feels great, last night it felt TERRIBLE! He may as well have been playing with my knee cap!<br><br>
What the heck is that?! Has anyone here experienced this? I seem to remember this happening after DD was born. Do you think it is a hormonal thing? Anyone had this during pregnancy and had it work itself out quickly? I'm going to ask the midwife about it at my appointment tomorrow - just curious if anyone else here has had anything like this happen - and had it stop happening <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br><br>
And I really don't think it will be helpful to hear from any of you who need to say "I have no idea what you mean - we have sex every night and it's amazing!! Pregnancy has done wonderful things for me... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blahblah.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blah blah"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blahblah.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blah blah"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blahblah.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blah blah"> " YKWIM?
 

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Dianna - No specific info to share but I wanted to chime in as another preg mama with no interest in sex at all... We've got to figure out something soon but for now dh has been understanding and not visibly annoyed. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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Not in you DDC, but sometimes my husband goes in like gangbusters and it's all I can do not to shove him away at times. Maybe spending a bit more time necking before moving to heavy petting and then with the caveat that it be *very* gentle to start out would help things along.<br><br>
Good luck, I hope you can find a groove that works for you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nausicaamom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9020036"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Not in you DDC, but sometimes my husband goes in like gangbusters and it's all I can do not to shove him away at times. Maybe spending a bit more time necking before moving to heavy petting and then with the caveat that it be *very* gentle to start out would help things along.<br>
Good luck, I hope you can find a groove that works for you.</div>
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That's the weird thing - he loves foreplay and never goes *right for it* and always starts out very gently. Everything he was doing usually feels great and I don't think it was something that more time doing anything else could have remedied. It was like a wire wasn't connected and my clitoris just didn't feel like a sexual organ any more than my elbow would.<br><br>
I have Googled up down and sideways and the only info I could find out there says that decreased sex drive is because the woman is worried about huting the baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: I can't say that's the case here either.
 

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I don't recall ever having this happening to me exactly on a purely physical level, but when I'm not mentally really ready, sometimes it feels like I could be reading a book while it's happening, and the physical just doesn't work out. You did say you got yourself psyched up for it, could it be that you really just weren't that into it?<br>
Otherwise, two things come to mind that might be totally off the wall, but give hope that it's only temporary:<br>
1. You are growing a baby which is located very close to that area. At the baby grows and things start expanding, which is just starting in earnest now, pressure comes to bear on other organs. Maybe there's just a little pressure on some nerves, and once things move a around a little, it will be releived and all will be better?<br>
2. Maybe you were dehydrated?
 

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LOL totally normal. love the knee cap analogy!
 

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I think that with increased blood flow to our nether regions, it increases sensitivity which can be good (yay orgasms!) or bad (yikes sensitive clit!). I think just take it easy, play it by ear, and don't stress too much. Maybe it was just a one time thing and when your body changes next week, it will go away. I've had no clit troubles but am really sensitive to <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> deeper penetration right now. I think it's all just part of the crazy pregnancy rollercoaster ride.
 

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I told DH that I'd make him a gourmet meal every day if we could not have sex for a year or so. Of course, I don't mean that (I don't think...), but that's how I feel. I was kidding, but his feelings were hurt (duh). I remember feeling like that last time I was pregnant until maybe between 16-20 weeks, when things returned to normal until after DS was born. *sigh*
 

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having the same trouble over here!<br><br>
I'm 13 weeks, and we've had sex twice since I found out I was pregnant. I just can't get into it. and when we do have sex, it's uncomfortable, and unpleasant (for me)! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br>
I'm hoping my drive comes back in a few weeks!
 

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Oh, I hate to admit this but I don't think we've dtd since we conceived <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"> . Honestly, I have NOT been in the mood. Just wait--the second tri. is right around the corner. I remember things picking up in the second tri. the last time I did this.<br><br>
Don't worry. I think it is hormonal and things will even out again.
 

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I am just no into Sex right now at all. We have only dtd 2X and that is more then enough for me. I have no drive right now. I am sure it will come back, but with 4 kids and one in our room we have to sneak it in when we can and with the severe nausea and tiredness I have been having it isn't often.
 

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Just to throw in some perspective from the other side, I've been crazy for sex for the last month or so. But our RE says I can't have any until the first trimester's done, and even then she wants my husband to withdraw because prostaglandins in semen can cause contractions.<br><br>
Boooooooooooooooo!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>uccellina</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9024932"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Just to throw in some perspective from the other side, I've been crazy for sex for the last month or so. But our RE says I can't have any until the first trimester's done, and even then she wants my husband to withdraw because prostaglandins in semen can cause contractions.<br><br>
Boooooooooooooooo!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:</div>
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Why is it that even after I specified no comments from those who need to chat about being a wanton sex kitten do people come here and say so?<br><br>
Yes, congratulations to you that you feel like having sex and your DP doesn't have to go about feeling like he isn't doing enough and you don't have to go about feeling like you are a failure. Yes, sad that you have to find other methods of making love other than penetrative sex.
 

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I feel your pain. Not in exactly the same way, but I do. I've been dry as a bone, which doesn't make sense to be because I've been seeing and feeling a lot of cervical fluid during the day. We use FAM when we're not pregnant or TTC, which means barrier methods for the first half of the cycle, so my husband views pregnancy as this huge free-for-all and wants to DTD all the time. And while I love the closeness, it's just not as fun as usual for me. Boo.
 

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I totally feel your pain. DH and I haven't had actual intercourse since we found out I was pg. We've fooled around a few times, but mainly it was for him since I am just not interested.<br><br>
He keeps wanting to take care of me. I know what you mean about what normally feels good just being complete non turn on.<br><br>
Several times I just haven't had the heart to tell him I have zero desire. He gets this kicked puppy look on his face and asks if he's doing something wrong. I've tried to tell him that there's nothing he could do right, right now. But like most other hormonal things, I don't think he quite gets it.<br><br>
I'm hoping that as I get into the 2nd trimester my sex drive will come back from Timbuktu or where ever it's run off to.
 

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I've actually been pretty frisky lately. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> I just can't get enough. I'm wearing DH out. But I will say that sex when I'm pg is totally different then when I am not pg. I think it has to do with the extra bloodflow. I can get overstimulated easily to the point where I just feel numb. Certain things that felt great non-pg don't feel as good anymore. Maybe the pressure or change in positioning going on down there. It changes daily. Something that felt good a couple days ago, just doesn't do it for me anymore. DH always jokes that it's almost like making love to a completely different woman. He's got to learn everything all over again. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Poor guy.
 

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I think we've had sex 3 or 4 times since conception, and mostly that's because I feel it's my duty. I feel really, really guilty. Even though my husband has not said anything to imply that it's my fault, he has not seemed frustrated or anxious, he is only patient and understanding and concerned... I just feel like I'm letting him down.
 

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I never have a very high sex drive, and pregnancy is no different for me. I'm 13 weeks and I think we've only had sex twice <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I'm just so tired from everything, plus dh works 3rd shift 6 days a week so there's not much chance, anyway. Poor guy. He hasn't really complained, though. Poor guy, our sex drives are soooo different.
 

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No sex for us since we found out I'm pg and I feel no guilt from it! I'm nauseous and on the verge of throwing up all day, my boobs feel like they might shatter into a thousand pieces when I accidentally rub them the wrong way, and I have heartburn. Not to mention that my supersonic smelling powers make even recently brushed teeth breath horrendous! Don't feel bad at all!!!!!!! I thoroughly enjoy sex with my husband when I'm not pregnant and orgasm every time, so I'm not worried that I won't be able to again and, right now, I'd rather not! Maybe we aren't meant to during this time. My traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) doctor advises against sex in the first trimester anyways and this type of medicine has been practiced for thousands of years!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dianna11</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9025137"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Why is it that even after I specified no comments from those who need to chat about being a wanton sex kitten do people come here and say so?<br><br>
Yes, congratulations to you that you feel like having sex and your DP doesn't have to go about feeling like he isn't doing enough and you don't have to go about feeling like you are a failure. Yes, sad that you have to find other methods of making love other than penetrative sex.</div>
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I had no intention of offending. I was attempting to be sympathetic from another perspective. Your original post said "And I really don't think it will be helpful to hear from any of you who need to say 'I have no idea what you mean - we have sex every night and it's amazing!! Pregnancy has done wonderful things for me... '" And since that's TOTALLY NOT WHAT I WAS SAYING, I didn't realize how offensive my contribution would be to you.<br><br>
Wow, my first time ever being flamed on MDC. I guess I should try to consider it a rite of passage.
 
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