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I know I could post this in the pregnancy forum, but I feel more comfortable here right now since we are planning a homebirth. DD was born in the hospital and over all we had a great experience. I hemorraged a bit afterwards (lost between 500 - 1,000 of whatever the unit of measure is) but otherwise was fine. They stopped it with Pitocin and methregen. Never had a heplock, there was very minimalist monitoring, DD was never taken from us, etc. Overall it was a positive experience, but for this birth I really wanted to be at home. I don't want my labor to be interrupted by a car ride, I want to lie in my own bed afterwards, I don't want to be exposed to hospital germs, I don't want nurses poking at me, etc. -- all of the same reasons that so many others have expressed. And I really believe that this is the way to go. But . . . now as I'm entering my third trimester and I am starting to think more and more about labor, I feel little fears creeping in. I KNOW this is what I want to do and what I believe in with my mind and heart, but I still have some trepidation. I have had a really tough year so far emotionally with several serious health and medical problems affecting important loved ones and I have been having somewhat of a difficult pregnancy with ongoing nausea (still here now at 28 weeks!), lots of weight gain, back pain, and just the general stresses of parenting a 2YO and wondering what it will be like with a new baby in the picture. I was definitely struggling with bouts of depression when I was worried about others and so f-ing sick 24 hours a day for several months. I really thought I was going to lose it, but of course, I didn't and I'm sure I'm stronger for the experience now. Anyway, I know that I need to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for this birth. I don't want this to sound too dramatic because most of the time I do feel really excited and optimistic about the birth. It is just these few nagging doubts. And while I am very much looking forward to laboring and birthing in the comfort of my own home, I am still plagued late at night with the "what ifs" and I think they are being amplified since all I have to compare with so far was my hospital birth. Being at home will be something new. I fully trust my two midwives and I think I will be fine with either here. The hospital is just 15 minutes away and I feel like I will be able to create a great HB environment here in my home. I guess I am just afraid of all the normal stuff: what if he is breech, what if he's got the cord tightly around his neck, what if there is some complication -- a cord prolapse, placental abruption, etc., and of course my greatest fear is that he would just die -- that he would be stillborn. I'm also afraid of him needing special care immediately for some reason and I'm afraid of hemmoraging to the point I have to be taken to the hospital. I have been getting these fears down on paper (and canvas since I paint) and talking to DH, but I'm wondering if there is anything else I can do. I read Birthing from Within last time and thought I'd have a look at it again, but what are other resources I could use? I am having a Blessingway at my home as well and think that will be a nice way to bring positive energy into my life. I guess what I am really wondering is how much or how little fear is it healthy to have entering into birth. I know I will always have some fear, I think that is normal, but how much is too much? And which fears are warranted and which aren't? Again, I want to stress that I don't worry about these things constantly by any means, but I just want to be prepared as possible and I want to make sure that I have processed as much as I can. What have others done to prepare yourselves mentally and emotionally -- especially when you have had some emotional baggage or challenges leading up to the birth?
 

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I have the same fears...basically fear of the unknown...done my research and still think HB is really the best way to go, but the fears creep in from time to time...
Hypnobirthing class has helped...just teaching me to relax and let go.
Can't help you much, just want you to know you aren't alone!!
 

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One thing you could do is ask your midwives for a concrete example of what they would do in an emergency. KNowing that they have seen these things before and have a procedure to fall back on might help ease your mind.

I went through a similar phase early in the third trimester of thinking of things that could go wrong and worrying about them. I decided what I was doing was a kind of exercise, and rather than worrying about worrying, I organized it. I am glad I did, because one thing I thought of was "what if my child is born with a birth defect of some sort? How will I cope with that?" I thought it through, out loud, with my partner, what we would do: be with the baby as much as possible, seek help from experts, make sure the baby gets breastmilk. I'm glad I did my homework--She was born with a heart problem and, while it healed freaky-fast and she's better now, having done that mental exercise really prepared me for the emotional roller coaster that came after her birth. If I hadn't gone through the thought process, I would have just freaked completely, I think. I would have just catastrophized--"omg we're all gonna die!" As it was I was still upset but calm enough to be there with her and see it through.

So what I am saying is that this fear has a purpose, IMHO. If you let it, it can help prepare you for any eventuality, to face it with more calm and thought and less kneejerk panic.
 

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If you decide on a hospital births you'll just have different worries......but statistics won't be on your side anymore. Think about it, maybe you'll find that the other options are even scarier so you'll be able to feel more comfortable with your decision.
 

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I think that it is important to process fears like you are doing before the birth. I have had occasional panic attacks in the past and was worried that I might panic in labor and the adrenaline would put the breaks on labor progress and send me to the hospital for interventions. My MW suggested that I do a few sessions with a psychologist that specializes in birth and postpartum issues, and it really helped me to clarify and face my fears. Maybe ask your midwife for some names of therapistsyou could see to prepare for the birth?
 
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