I know I could post this in the pregnancy forum, but I feel more comfortable here right now since we are planning a homebirth. DD was born in the hospital and over all we had a great experience. I hemorraged a bit afterwards (lost between 500 - 1,000 of whatever the unit of measure is) but otherwise was fine. They stopped it with Pitocin and methregen. Never had a heplock, there was very minimalist monitoring, DD was never taken from us, etc. Overall it was a positive experience, but for this birth I really wanted to be at home. I don't want my labor to be interrupted by a car ride, I want to lie in my own bed afterwards, I don't want to be exposed to hospital germs, I don't want nurses poking at me, etc. -- all of the same reasons that so many others have expressed. And I really believe that this is the way to go. But . . . now as I'm entering my third trimester and I am starting to think more and more about labor, I feel little fears creeping in. I KNOW this is what I want to do and what I believe in with my mind and heart, but I still have some trepidation. I have had a really tough year so far emotionally with several serious health and medical problems affecting important loved ones and I have been having somewhat of a difficult pregnancy with ongoing nausea (still here now at 28 weeks!), lots of weight gain, back pain, and just the general stresses of parenting a 2YO and wondering what it will be like with a new baby in the picture. I was definitely struggling with bouts of depression when I was worried about others and so f-ing sick 24 hours a day for several months. I really thought I was going to lose it, but of course, I didn't and I'm sure I'm stronger for the experience now. Anyway, I know that I need to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for this birth. I don't want this to sound too dramatic because most of the time I do feel really excited and optimistic about the birth. It is just these few nagging doubts. And while I am very much looking forward to laboring and birthing in the comfort of my own home, I am still plagued late at night with the "what ifs" and I think they are being amplified since all I have to compare with so far was my hospital birth. Being at home will be something new. I fully trust my two midwives and I think I will be fine with either here. The hospital is just 15 minutes away and I feel like I will be able to create a great HB environment here in my home. I guess I am just afraid of all the normal stuff: what if he is breech, what if he's got the cord tightly around his neck, what if there is some complication -- a cord prolapse, placental abruption, etc., and of course my greatest fear is that he would just die -- that he would be stillborn. I'm also afraid of him needing special care immediately for some reason and I'm afraid of hemmoraging to the point I have to be taken to the hospital. I have been getting these fears down on paper (and canvas since I paint) and talking to DH, but I'm wondering if there is anything else I can do. I read Birthing from Within last time and thought I'd have a look at it again, but what are other resources I could use? I am having a Blessingway at my home as well and think that will be a nice way to bring positive energy into my life. I guess what I am really wondering is how much or how little fear is it healthy to have entering into birth. I know I will always have some fear, I think that is normal, but how much is too much? And which fears are warranted and which aren't? Again, I want to stress that I don't worry about these things constantly by any means, but I just want to be prepared as possible and I want to make sure that I have processed as much as I can. What have others done to prepare yourselves mentally and emotionally -- especially when you have had some emotional baggage or challenges leading up to the birth?