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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am interested in homeschooling my children but the barrier for me to stay home is somewhat high, although I'm sure I could certainly justify it if need be.<br><br>
Anyway, I'm a professional and make six figures. As such, our expenses are higher (mortgage) because we could afford it. If I were to stay home full time to homeschool, we would have to sell the house and most likely move out of the city (since the cost of living is so high) or back into a tiny house.<br><br>
I wanted to hear from other moms who are in a similar situation what they did? And get opinions from other SAHMs who homeschool.<br><br>
I guess I feel like if I were to quit my job it would be insane since we have an excellent public school they would be attending (my oldest starts K in the fall).<br><br>
Here's the other thing -- my son has been exhibiting signs of sensory integration disorder. Nothing serious, I think, mostly mild. He goes in for an evaluation next month. I'm a little worried how he will handle a large classroom environment.<br><br>
Sorry for being so rambling. Thanks! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bouncy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bouncy">
 

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I think that you realize the sacrifice will be great and you've got to decide what is important to you and your family. Is there any way to make the job part time in any capacity or take your skills somewhere else on a part time level? Most of us here have given up a lot, smaller house, less than ideal location, tight budget but most will say that it is absolutely worth it. It will be overwhelming at first--my opinion is there is nothing harder than staying home and being a SAHM (that's why I was suggesting part time work) and there will be an adjustment period for all. Read some books. I'm reading John Holt's Teach Your Own right now and feeling very inspired by it. I could be out making a lot more money but I"m teaching part time as an adjunct---not much money but it allows me to do a little bit with my dreams but still focus on raising my children in the environment that I want to raise them in. I think reading some John Holt and some true stories on homeschoolers might help you. I would say in my humble opinion that those sacrifices will all absolutely be worth it and you won't regret it but the one who has to decide what is right for you family is you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I could definitely make my job part-time and if I could do that and homeschool, then we wouldn't have the financial issues and could probably stay in our house.<br><br>
But, my question for you guys is: how in the world do you fit a part-time job in with homeschooling? What do you do with your children during the time you are working? Do you wait until DH is home?
 

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I can tell you what my employers have chosen to do, which may or may not be the right choice for you. They have hired me (a professional nanny) to provide childcare and homeschool the kids. Now, it is not the same as YOU staying home to teach your dc, but there are the still the huge benefits of someone who knows the child extremely well (after spending 30-40 hours a week with the children, basically since their birth - aside from their parents, I am the one who knows them the best), who can provide the one-on-one tutoring as needed, with the flexibility to adjust to different learning styles and speeds.<br><br>
Is there any way that you could work part time? Are your schedules flexible at all? You could also do the majority of the schooling on the weekends, when you are home with your dc. Especially in the younger years, children do not need nearly as much "school time" as they get when they attend school. And when they are older, the "schooling" doesn't need to be as supervised - you don't need to be standing over them while they read.<br><br>
Kudos to you for looking into homeschooling now. I think if you decide that it's what you want to do, then you will be able to find a way to make it work, even if that means adjusting your lifestyle accordingly. The more I have researched homeschooling these past few years, the more I am in favor of it.
 

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Dh and I are both physicians. When we had kids, although we hadn't decided to homeschool at that point, we were sure we wanted a simpler, more 'connected' life for them. We sold our 4-bedroom house and moved to a 1-bedroom home (eventually added two more bedrooms via an addition, seriously downscaled our mortgage (it helped that we made a lot on the resale of our first home) and sold one of our vehicles. Totally dropped any vestiges of an upscale life. We were able to live those first few years of kids on 25% of our previous, childless income. Gradually dh's income has increased, and I've worked part-time a bit. Plus we paid off our smaller mortgage. So we now feel financially very comfortable.<br><br>
None of this felt like a sacrifice for us, and I guess that's why we did most of it with hardly a second thought. Sometimes we'd have fleeting little thoughts -- OMG, what have we done? -- especially when in touch with old classmates or colleagues. But no regrets; we love the life we've made for ourselves and our kids.<br><br>
Miranda<br>
(just in from planting out the tomatoes and feeding the chickens)
 

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I definitely get the 'living to your means' thing. We've done it and now we are living a 2-income life. However...in the fall, that will be changing. We've been gradually reducing our monthly expenses, figuring out how to spend less on groceries, trying to find a way to pay for health insurance through COBRA...it's a lot of juggling and planning and calculating. We think that this is important enough that it's something that we *have to* do, so it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. We'll be living on just over half our income and I am actually looking forward to it. I never would have thought that was possible, but it is.<br><br>
If you want to do this, then sit down and really look at your options and see what can be done.<br><br>
albc
 

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I agree with Miranda. We've made some financial compromises to homeschool but this life feels far more like a gift than a sacrifice to me. I could go back to work tomorrow and more than double our income. We could then afford a much bigger house, a cottage - the works. But those are just things and when would we have the time to enjoy them anyway? Being with my kids, enjoying this time and this opportunity with them is a gift worth far more to me than a 6 figure income.
 

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i am a lawyer who has quit her job to be a SAHM and i have recently decided to homeschool. the idea of homeschooling just blows my mind with the possibilities - it reminds me of when i first learned about midwives and homebirths. is it a financial problem? hell ya. especially since i was the big breadwinner. but my gosh, i have never had a better job in all my years! i would move mountains (and we are thinking of selling our home and downsizing - not that our home is anything great at 1400 square feet!).
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Well, we could certainly financially do it if we downsize. I'd still like to hear from you moms out there that work part time and homeschool as to how you do it and how realistic it is to squeeze 20 hours of work into a week...
 

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This thread certainly has a loaded premise. But I'll move on...<br><br>
How many hours a week do you feel you need to "homeschool" your child in kindergarten? In first grade? In second grade? etc.<br><br>
Do you know anything about unschooling?<br><br>
Have you looked at this website? It's got a free kindergarten curriculum.<br><a href="http://www.besthomeschooling.org" target="_blank">http://www.besthomeschooling.org</a><br><br>
What are the laws in your area regarding homeschool?<br><br>
If you work 20 hours a week, who will watch your child?<br><br>
I think that if you have someone to watch your child, it'd be pretty easy to homeschool, even throughout high school, working 20 hours a week. It's pretty easy to teach the equivalent amount of stuff to a child in about 2 or 3 hours of one-on-one time throughout junior high/middle school even, even if you do "school at home".<br><br>
Plenty of parents homeschool and still work full time.
 

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I work part time and hs. But my DH also works part time. We rarely overlapped, so one of us is almost always home with the kids. (The few times we have had a schedule conflict either a grandparent or another homeschool mom has watched the boys).<br><br>
I would suggest trying to find the homeschool community in your area. It is possilbe that you could get a homeschool mom (or a responsible teen) to watch your kids during your part-time hours.<br><br>
As previous posters have mentioned. The actual curriculum (if you choose to use one) only takes an hour or so in the early years so you should be able to get all the "school" in when you are home -- evenings and weekends are good to -- there is no rule that learning can only happen M-F from 8-3.<br><br><br>
good luck<br>
rebecca
 

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DH and I are both professionals, and we have made financial sacrifices so one of us could be home with the kids. We put off buying a home. We rent a 950 sq ft, 2 bedroom apartment in the heart of the city.<br><br>
When we decided to homeschool I realized I would never go back to my career as a research scientist. So instead I started my own consulting business. This is where being a professional is a big advantage, and something you can consider doing if you quit your "day job". I work only about 20 - 40 hours each month, and of course business is in waves so we have slow periods and periods where I'm up late at night for a couple of weeks. The money is really good, and it's satisfying for me both personally and professionally.<br><br>
Now things are going well for us. We are in a good place financially, DH has been climbing the ladder and is bringing in a higher salary. We are now looking to buy an acreage outside of town, we'll keep our rental apartment in the city, and spend half the week in each place. Only a homeschooling lifestyle can allow for that! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
It was hard during those lean years, but we both knew we had earning potential and that the sacrifices we made then would never be regretted. Having that time with the children is priceless. Now that we have "caught up" I can tell you that putting off the bigger home (or scaling back) for a while is NOT going to be an issue down the road. I will never regret the time we had (have) with our kids in place of a big mortgage!<br><br>
I mean really, when you are lying on your deathbed, what will you regret more? Not having a big house for a few years? Or missing out on half your kids' lives?<br><br>
PS - you could also look at renting out your house and you rent a small apartment, that way you aren't losing out on your equity but your budget can be substantially reduced.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>birddog</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8220748"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, we could certainly financially do it if we downsize. I'd still like to hear from you moms out there that work part time and homeschool as to how you do it and how realistic it is to squeeze 20 hours of work into a week...</div>
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Me and dh are both full time students (I'm in nursing school which is easily 20 hours a week or more at times, and he will be attending law school), I work part time mainly and he works full time. My girls are 5 and 9 now and we have always homeschooled.<br><br>
We flip schedules when we can (I ask for evening clinicals when I can for instance) and my mom also helps with watching the girls when neither of us are home. I will be working full time as an RN next year and still plan to homeschool (I'll be working 12 hour nights like I do now). I sleep when I can...lol. I have a couple of homeschooling friends who work at home and hire a mothers helper to come in and help watch the kids and keep them away while she is working. It works out very well for them.<br><br>
Most of the homeschooling moms I know are NOT SAHM, most of them work part time out of the house and I know some lucky ones who work in the house or have their own companies and the kids tag along.<br><br>
Homeschooling is just part of our regular, everyday lives. It is not anything we set aside or even have to make time for. We don't do "school at home". Don't think of public/private school as being the same in any way shape or form as homeschooling or that it is even going to take the same amount of time (you don't actually have to spend any time on homeschooling...weird I know that sounds, but you will see).<br><br>
Good luck!! I know your nervous probably even just thinking about it, it is not easy to change your lifestyle. It's a big decision. Downsizing your income is has to be scarey, our income is so small though <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> LOL We live in a 1100 sq foot duplex and drive sensible cars (Saturn and a Chevy) and are quite happy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> To me 1100 sq feet is plently of room for my kids to play and is a huge step up from our 900 sq foot apartment we lived in until just recently which my kids loved.
 

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I'm a college professor and just worked my last day yesterday. To be honest, I am so relieved. While I enjoy my job and I'm good at it, I find the time away from DD so upsetting and juggling all the aspects of my life very stressful. We are definitely going to be tight without my income, but we just found that we could care less about the money if we feel that we are not meeting the needs of our child (soon to be children). DD is so very sensitive, she finds the school environment very overwhelming and upsetting. I was lucky enough to have my mom to watch her when I worked before, but I found that I was just not willing to send her to school in the fall. She is just not ready. Maybe she never will be. We're taking things one year at a time--I don't want to make decisions for her whole life based on how I feel when she's three, but right now homeschooling is the best choice for us.
 

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Working:<br><br>
I know a family with 2 MDs that homeschools- they both work 50% time and the kids are with a parent 100%<br><br>
I know a family where mom works from 10 PM to 1 AM each night.<br><br>
In my family, I work one 12 hour day. My DH works 4 10 hour days and then on the day I work he works only 5 hours and cares for ds the rest of the day. My friend who also homeschools and is mother to my sons best friend takes care of ds for those 5 hours- I pay her by the hour.<br><br>
In college towns you can often hire college students during the day by the hour- even the same person for many years if it is a good match. A child development major?<br><br>
Reducing cost of living:<br><br>
If you live in a high rent area you might rent out a room in your house.<br><br>
Start putting half your salary away now so that when you do cut back you have a cushion.
 

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I've been ruminating over this for a while and can't help but comment on it now.<br><br>
Why is this issue so different for "professionals" than it is for anyone else? I'm getting a classist vibe and it makes me feel icky. Almost any family who goes from two incomes to one income is probably going to have to reduce their expenses and become more careful with their spending to be able to afford it. Requesting only "professionals" to answer, and without even defining what one feels is "professional" seems off to me.<br><br>
I believe the underlying issues in this thread are universal amongst two income families and so I totally don't understand why the only opinions and experiences that are wanted by the OP are those of "professionals".<br><br>
Anyone else get this vibe from this thread? Or am I being oversensitive? Personally, I left a pretty good income to stay at home but certainly don't feel I'm more qualified than someone who worked as a cashier prior to staying home when answering this question. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>RiverSky</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8230247"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Why is this issue so different for "professionals" than it is for anyone else?</div>
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I agree with you -- I don't think it's so different. But I do think that it can feel a little different. Though I confess I'm hazy on what constitutes a "professional," I assume I am one as I trained and worked as a doctor. In many ways, to people 'out there' especially, friends, community members and extended family, we looked absolutely nuts. Instead of giving up $20,000 a year we were giving up $120,000 ... or more. We were voluntarily giving up what the vast majority of families can only dream of. And we took some extra flack for it.<br><br>
"You guys had it <i>made</i>!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"><br>
"All that training and experience.... down the drain." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br>
"You are such a good doctor, though. Now we don't have enough female docs." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"><br>
"All those scholarships and student loans -- and now you're not going to pay the world back for the advantages you've had." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"><br>
"Your medical school spot could have gone to someone who would have served people for more than 5 years. Don't you feel guilty about that?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nono.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nono"><br><br>
It makes it feel like a bigger decision, a bigger sacrifice, a more difficult change, than it really is. The reality is like you said, RiverSky ... it's no different. In fact, it's probably easier in many ways for those who have professional training and high earning potential to take the risk of dropping out of the workforce. They probably start out with more financial security and more resources, and if it all goes awry, they can probably rebuild a rosy financial and job situation more easily than a cashier / shift-worker / etc..<br><br>
Miranda
 

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Riversky,<br><br>
I totally understand where you're coming from. I didn't have a high paying career, but I had a burgeoning acting and singing career (as well as a great position teaching some super cool classes in an arts college) that I totally had to put on hold due to my super attached (some would say high needs) baby and toddler who evolved into a co-op preschooler who hardly ever let me leave (I almost worked there <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) and is now super sensitive hsing 6 almost 7 year old!<br><br>
My "career" was beginning to bring more money into my family and could have allowed us more "stuff". If I'd kept at it, I imagine I would have made more money and been doing pretty well as a stage actor (or at least I like to think <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: ). We have had to make sacrifices to hs. One of those sacrifices was (temporarily) letting go of my career which I will have to rebuild when I start working again. The other sacrifice was one my dh had to make - he doesn't get to spend nearly as much time with us as he'd like because he has to make all the money right now as his career is really taking off. But, hey, I know I'm doing the right thing not only for my son, but for my entire family and we'll try to work on getting me back on track when the timing is right.<br><br>
As far as work, I am beginning to get contracting work doing voiceovers which has some satisfaction and brings an almost negligible amount of money in - but there is some satisfaction there of doing something within my career sector and having it pay. In the next few years, be figuring out ways to do my art and have it be a money-making venture.<br><br>
But, yeah, just because I didn't have a 6 figure career doesn't mean that I didn't have to let go of a <span style="text-decoration:underline;">lot</span> to do what was right for my kid.<br><br>
Everyone who homeschools has to really weigh out what is most important to them and then figure out how to work it all out. My life doesn't look anything like it used to, but I consider my life far far richer <span style="text-decoration:underline;">because</span> I'm with my kid learning along side him and watching him grow. I wouldn't change a thing.<br><br>
Yeah, one day I'll be able to get back to "me" and "my career", but I'm betting that I'm going to be so so much better at them because of my experiences as a homeschooling mom!<br><br>
Oh, another sacrifice -- we have certainly had to put off even buying a house as we live in one of the most expensive areas of the country - so we're still renting and not living exactly where we'd like to live.<br><br>
I know you're looking for professionals viewpoint, but many of us had to let go of many things to be able to homeschool and those things were very important to us.<br><br>
Peace,<br><br>
Michelle
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>birddog</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8220748"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, we could certainly financially do it if we downsize. I'd still like to hear from you moms out there that work part time and homeschool as to how you do it and how realistic it is to squeeze 20 hours of work into a week...</div>
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I do work probably slightly more than 20 hours a week in the school year (plus mountains of grading) and I find that I have no problems. My mother in law watches the boys while I'm teaching. On the days I work we sometimes do a little bit of work, sometimes nothing. Even if you want to take a heavy curriculum based approach you don't need that many hours a day to accomplish what a school kid might accomplish in a week.<br><br>
The great thing is you don't have to make a full plan. I worried and fretted about all this but I found that when I just went ahead and plunged in that it became obvious what I needed to do.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>RiverSky</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8230247"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've been ruminating over this for a while and can't help but comment on it now.<br><br>
Why is this issue so different for "professionals" than it is for anyone else? I'm getting a classist vibe and it makes me feel icky. Almost any family who goes from two incomes to one income is probably going to have to reduce their expenses and become more careful with their spending to be able to afford it. Requesting only "professionals" to answer, and without even defining what one feels is "professional" seems off to me.<br><br>
I believe the underlying issues in this thread are universal amongst two income families and so I totally don't understand why the only opinions and experiences that are wanted by the OP are those of "professionals".<br><br>
Anyone else get this vibe from this thread? Or am I being oversensitive? Personally, I left a pretty good income to stay at home but certainly don't feel I'm more qualified than someone who worked as a cashier prior to staying home when answering this question. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:</div>
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I certainly don't think it was intended that way by OP. I don't think the difference in family adjustment is that much greater but the difference in $$ probably is. If you have been living a lifestyle where both parents are professionals making six figures that is different income-wise than two parents who are working as casheirs. Both lifestyles would have already determined the type of living style you were used to. I doubt anyone here thinks a professional in business is more qualified than a store casheir and yes we all have to make adjustments. I would think a family that has two parents working hourly waged based type jobs would have a harder time just because of daily living expenses but of course with creativity and planning anyone can do it. I think the OP was just trying to get help on her situation, not trying to say she is "different."
 
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