proud of myself, but still furious!

1546 Views 16 Replies 14 Participants Last post by filiadeluna, Apr 19, 2009

Anglyn

Discussion Starter · Apr 9, 2009

This last monday I was at the food stamp office. When I arrived and took my daughter to the restroom, there was a young mother nursing her baby in there. I dont know if she was told she had to, but she might have been considering that a short while later I was approached by the security guard and told that I was causing a disturbance by nursing my son and that people were complaining. I told him that, "I have every legal right to breastfeed my child in any public place that I have a right to be" or tried to,he cut me off and told me, "you dont have to flash everyone" as he mimiced lifting his shirt above his head, which of course I NEVER DID! Yes, my nursing toddler was lifting up on the shirt hem as he always does and I was keeping it pulled back down. I was told that I had to cover up with a blanket,which I didnt have so another breastfeeding mom held a blanket up in front of me, causing much more attention to be drawn to what I was doing if you ask me. I thanked her but declined her help. I refused to cover up and he went away. I then loudly announced that I found it pitiful that there were still people who cant differintiate between feeding a child and something sexual and that if they watch tv or movies, they've seen way more breast that I was showing! I also said something to the effect of Id like to see any of them eat with thier heads under a blanket. The mom I was talking to said her three month old sweats like a pig under the blanket but she uses it to avoid exactly what happened to me! No one else bothered us again. I was proud that I stood up for myself but still mad and also was afraid to nurse my four year old when he asked. After ticking off the security guard, I figured nursing the four year old would have cps called into the office immediately.

I would think that of all places, they would be promoting breastfeeding, not making breastfeeding mothers feel as if they were doing something shameful!!

eta: I wrote to the agency on a card that was given to me by a lactation consultant,the agency is there to promote breastfeedin and will write a letter to them about this incident. Ironically, its a branch of the same agency!!!

See less See more

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

homewithtwinsmama

· #2 · Apr 9, 2009

If this was a federal office then this officer was in violation of the law. I would call and find out who the supervisor of security is and write a letter. Also report it to Rep. Carolyn Maloney of NY's office. She wrote the law. Also contact Firstright.org and file a report with them.

proudmomof4

· #3 · Apr 9, 2009

2

I am so sorry you got this reaction.

:
Please continue to stand up for yourself and your child. We are proud of you!

See less See more

somelady

· #4 · Apr 9, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama

View Post

If this was a federal office then this officer was in violation of the law. I would call and find out who the supervisor of security is and write a letter. Also report it to Rep. Carolyn Maloney of NY's office. She wrote the law. Also contact Firstright.org and file a report with them.

do you have a reference for this? my ds goes to a dod daycare and they've started fussing at me about it, and I hadn't gotten around to asking about it...

ETA: So I found the reference but it's the standard "allowed to bf anywhere you're otherwise allowed to be" (section 629 of the 2005 appropriations act) Does anyone know how that interacts with people asking you to cover up?

See less See more

Anglyn

Discussion Starter · #5 · Apr 9, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama

View Post

If this was a federal office then this officer was in violation of the law. I would call and find out who the supervisor of security is and write a letter. Also report it to Rep. Carolyn Maloney of NY's office. She wrote the law. Also contact Firstright.org and file a report with them.

Ok, I will do this! Because there are a lot of really young moms that go there and this could seriously do damage to thier decision to bf or continue to bf! I cannot be the first woman he was harrassed about this.

See less See more

Zadee

· #6 · Apr 9, 2009

1. Good for you!

2. What a jerk.

Sagesgirl

· #7 · Apr 10, 2009

While I'm proud of you for standing your ground...The food stamp office is not in the business of promoting breastfeeding. Should they be? Absolutely. Are they? Nope. WIC barely promotes breastfeeding. Health and Human Services, in my experience, doesn't even pay lip-service to the idea.

I am amazed--happily so--that there were other breastfeeding moms there. I've only seen bottlefeeding moms at my local DHHS.

I do not believe that the food stamp office is a federal office. As far as I know, it's a State office. Food stamps are only nominally (if at all) a federal program, and it's administered by the individual states. (Thus the wide range of things you can and cannot buy using them.)

See less See more

Blu Razzberri

· #8 · Apr 10, 2009

: GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! Wow. What you did took a lot of guts, and hopefully caused at least one or two people to think. I'd also write a complaint to the security guard's manager. That was disgusting. He's a bully.

See less See more

proudmomof4

· #9 · Apr 10, 2009

"While I'm proud of you for standing your ground...The food stamp office is not in the business of promoting breastfeeding. Should they be? Absolutely. Are they? Nope. WIC barely promotes breastfeeding. Health and Human Services, in my experience, doesn't even pay lip-service to the idea."

All the better that you gave an example to follow! That's how change can start.

nevaehsmommy

· #10 · Apr 10, 2009

I am mad just reading this. I would so report the security job for his less than professionlism. (sp)

HE should have not asked you to stop first, and then to lift his shirt. WRONG. I would "have his job" he should not be allowed to treat any one with disrepect. Its hard enough to go to the food stamp office already.

Breeder

· #11 · Apr 10, 2009

2

Quote:

Originally Posted by nevaehsmommy

View Post

I am mad just reading this. I would so report the security job for his less than professionlism. (sp)

HE should have not asked you to stop first, and then to lift his shirt. WRONG. I would "have his job" he should not be allowed to treat any one with disrepect. Its hard enough to go to the food stamp office already.

Yep.

Good for you OP, you really stood your ground.

See less See more

Phoenix~Mama

· #12 · Apr 10, 2009

Good for you OP!!!!

I agree with PP's... I'd definitely be going to everyone above that security guard. He was completely disrespectful, unprofessional, and completely in the wrong.

See less See more

Anglyn

Discussion Starter · #13 · Apr 14, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by nevaehsmommy

View Post

I am mad just reading this. I would so report the security job for his less than professionlism. (sp)

HE should have not asked you to stop first, and then to lift his shirt. WRONG. I would "have his job" he should not be allowed to treat any one with disrepect. Its hard enough to go to the food stamp office already.

Yes, this. Thanks for all the respones but yeah... You know, I have gone this long without asking for help and would not have been there if we didnt really need the help and dont plan to be on it any longer than necesary, if they eve approve me, but I see how it can become a way of life because the ONE day that I spent there crushed me, I was treated like total crap by everyone. Ive never been treated with such disrespect and every employee there was that way to every single client, that I saw anyway. If you have nothing good going on in your life to counterbalance and you are in the system and get treated this way by everyone...I see how it would keep you down, you'd have no self esteem to believe that you deserved any better. Yikes.

Well, it is a state program, but the number I have to report negative or positive experiances youve had bf with any given company is part of that same state agency and its purpose is to promote bf, I found that interesting and ironic.

See less See more

Da WIC Lady

· #14 · Apr 14, 2009

Depending on what state you live in the security guard could be prosecuted for civil rights violations. Check your state laws. For example, in VA, breastfeeding is exempted from the indecent exposure laws. Everyone knows that. But the one that doesn't get as much press is that a woman may breastfeed in any place owned, leased, or controlled by the Commonwealth. No teeth to the laws like a select few other states, but it's worth looking up. Most state code is searchable online.

It really sucks what happened to you. It's not just where you live that social services workers are like that either. Do they all take a class or something on how to make you feel like you're the lowest of the low for asking for help? Also, writing a letter to the director of your local social services director, state social sercvices, and if there is a discriminaton line, calling it would be a good idea. I believe that like WIC that food stamps are also run by the USDA, a federal agency, and while administered by the states still have certain guidelines they have to follow. I'm very proud that you stood up for you and your children.

See less See more

mamabadger

· #15 · Apr 17, 2009

mammal_mama

· #16 · Apr 17, 2009

Way to go, Mama!

See less See more

filiadeluna

· #17 · Apr 19, 2009

2

Sorry you had to deal with that B.S.!!! The thing that sucks is that in my state (TN), you are only protected to NIP until your child is 1 year old.

I'm not sure how they'd verify that a child was over 1 year (are they really going to ask for a birth certificate?), but I guess if they suspected the child was older they may take action now & ask questions later.

:

Are you certain your state protects NIP for all ages? Either way, that guy was incredibly rude & the *way* he spoke to you bothers me even more than what he said to you (although that was uncalled for as well). I hope you can file a complaint on him! I also wish that breastfeeding law was more public knowledge than it seems to be.

See less See more

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.