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What's worse, having public school friends or no friends at all? My little guys (5&6) just love playing with other kids but the only friends they have go to public school and they are all....well, not the kind of influence I would prefer. They teach them about things on tv which inturn have them begging to get tv, show them the latest power ranger fighting moves, they seem to always have some yucky unhealthy snack or drink with them. Basically, all the things I try to place value in (family time without the intrusion of tv, nonviolence, eating healthy, treating each other with respect, the joys of learning) are all undone in the course of an hour<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> But when i try to keep them too busy to play with those kids in afternoon, they complain that they never have anyone to play with. Homeschool groups in this area are scarce unless your affiliated with a religion, but I am still searching for one and searching for people to create our own. I dont want my kids to not have any friends, but i dont want them picking up all the "stuff" I feel has no place in our home.<br>
Any advice wise mama's?
 

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Ok, first of all not all children that go or went to public school are bad. With that said lets address your issue. These so called neighborhood kids that you do not approve of are acting the way they do because their parents allow them to. There is really no such thing as bad kids that young just bad parents. Now as for the friends teaching your kids about things you don't approve of. This happens its part of growing up and seeing everything the world has to offer, its simply your job to make sure you teach your children values and morals so they in turn make good choices. As for the TV and Snack thing. Tell you children that the snacks those kids eat are bad and will rot their teeth thats why you guys eat healthy snacks and food so that your kids will still have their teeth when they turn 20! Then ask them if they want all their teeth to fall out? (I know it sounds silly but kids think differently then adults do and as a parent you have to reach the level they think on) I can bet they will say they don't want their teeth to rot out. Also remember that you cannot shelter children from things but that you must simply teach them about values and morals. I would if in your shoes keep allowing my kids to play with neighborhood kids because kids need interaction and playmates of all kinds to grow up and experiance things with, however, I would also seek out possible other activities your kids could do to meet other kids. Maybe join a baseball team or a martial arts class. In fact As a martial arts instructor(part time work at Duke university in a lab full time) for over 10 years(I have extensive experiance with kids) I would suggest martial arts because most parents who enroll their kids are interested in values and disipline, plus they will make friends outside the neighborhood. Good luck and remember kids need friends otherwise they become the outsiders and thats no fun. Just keep enforceing your values and although it may seem it gets undone in a hour it dosen't because years from now your children will still remember those values you taught them.<br><br>
Alicia
 

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Your subject line is a bit of a false dichotomy; you're presenting two options when there are quite a few other options available to you.<br><br>
Let me share some informative articles about socialization:<br><br><a href="http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig/zysk1.html" target="_blank">The Myth of Socialization</a><br><br><a href="http://www.homeeducator.com/FamilyTimes/articles/10-1article1.htm" target="_blank">We Don't Believe in Socialization</a><br><br>
My absolute fav home ed newsletter is Freedom-in-Education, which <a href="http://www.freedom-in-education.co.uk/newsletter/feb.htm" target="_blank">dedicated an entire issue to the S word</a>. Be sure to check out the Best Kept Secret - it's utterly true.
 

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I agree that not all public school kids are bad, and what's more....not all homeschooled kids are good. I've met more than one abrasive, ill-behaved homeschooled child. And most of the homeschoolers I know have yucky, unhealthy foods in their homes, too.<br><br>
I say to just keep reinforcing the things that are important to you. Even within our homeschool group there are widely varying parenting styles and values. It kind of makes me sad to realize that some other homeschool moms probably judge me as being a bad parent because my kids watch television, play video games, and sometimes drink soda and eat candy.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div style="font-style:italic;">Tell you children that the snacks those kids eat are bad and will rot their teeth thats why you guys eat healthy snacks and food so that your kids will still have their teeth when they turn 20! Then ask them if they want all their teeth to fall out? (I know it sounds silly but kids think differently then adults do and as a parent you have to reach the level they think on) I can bet they will say they don't want their teeth to rot out.</div>
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I'd think that most kids would be wise enough to notice whether or not their <b>friends'</b> teeth have rotted out. I think that telling children "silly" things like this is an insult to their intelligence. If you want your children to take you seriously, then I think you should take them seriously. Tell them that junk foods aren't good for their bodies, and that it's part of your job to help protect their bodies. Scare tactics aren't something I recommend, but that's just my opinion and we all know what opinions are like.<br><br>
And sugary foods are really not any worse on the teeth than healthy foods which the body converts to sugars, like breads, pastas, fruits, etc. Rotten teeth are caused by genetics and/or poor hygiene. My husband rarely eats sweets and he has awful teeth, and I have never had a cavity in spite of all the soda and chocolate I consumed growing up.
 

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I think your kids definatly need friends. Public school kids are not "bad", they are not much different than the hs'ed kids I know. Most of my dd friends are ps kids. I think your lumping public school kids as "bad" and homeschooled kids as "good" from the way you phrased it. Gosh I know a lot of bratty, junk food eating homeschooled kids. A lot of the ps kids I know are great!<br><br>
And your children are going to be exposed to much worse than junk food and movies growing up, that is just life, we can't protect them from life. It is our job as parents to instill what values we think are important and to help them think for themselves (and a lot of times kids dont do that and that is ok, its part of the learning process). I just basically want my kids to think things through and make the best choices for themselves in all areas of life (diet, sex, tv, work, etc).<br><br>
But like someone else said get them involved in some outside activities (we love tae kwon do) or some other homeschooled kids if it really bothers you that much.<br><br>
Anyways, your doing a great job with instilling in your kids the benifit of a healthy diet, less tv, but in the end it is their choices to make, not ours.
 

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I agree with the previous posters. You'll find kids that don't share the same values and lifestyle that your family does everywhere, in public and private schools and homeschool.<br><br>
My oldest is soon to be 9, and peers have become more important to him as he has grown older. The best thing we have found that works for us to to turn the lifestyle differences around. Our home is always open and welcoming to kids(well most of the time!) so we are more likely to invite kids over to our house rather than let our kids go to theirs. We invite them to go on outings(fishing and YuGiOh tournaments are a favorite) or do special activities with our family. So here we are doing family-friendly activities, eating healthy snacks and treating each other kindly, so any child who is with us pretty much has to join along(lots of fun!) or go home(not so fun). Adult supervision, esp with young kids, is still very important.<br><br>
Also, as others have said, find kids in other places where you might find families with lifestyles similar to yours such as sports, fine arts, libraries, community events, volunteering, scouting, etc.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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We don't have a lot of kids for our children to play with in the neighborhood. If junk food and TV is these kids worse flaws you are doing pretty good.<br><br>
Be honest with the junk food. It is not healthy that is why you don't have it.<br><br>
As for the TV, YOU NEED TO CONTROL YOUR HOME. Say no. Take time to explain what you find unexceptable. Use things to teach moral lessons. I don't/didn't like Power Rangers but I took time to watch and discuss it with my children. These tv shows can be great teaching tools. We went through a phase of wanting to watch Rug Rats, which I hate for many reasons. We watched it and talked about what we/I didn't like.<br><br>
You need to learn "In our house we don't ---------- (or do------) because -----------------."<br><br>
Use these things you don't like to teach your children. Teach them tolorance and appropriate behaviors.
 
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