Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 69 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
367 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,<br>
I am soooo frustrated with my daughters school. Today after being absent two days the teacher sent a note home saying she was very disappointed in the childrens behaviors while she was out. She went on to say that if the children are in trouble at school the parents should make a big deal out of it at home. Then said that some of the children do not care how they act at school because they know they will not get in trouble at home. Then she went on to say that there is a new "three strikes youre out" rule. They have a field trip in ten days and if your child gets "out" three times then they can not go on the trip. She also told me individually that the class as a "whole" will not be participating in their harvest day party on Friday. this mom is in a really bad mood... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,484 Posts
Moved to Learning at School...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,103 Posts
oh ugh, she sounds like the kind of person that I work with and wonder why in the heck they work in an environment full of children. What a nightmare. I'm so sorry. That sucks.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
367 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Well...it sucks especially since my daughter has already had a crummy start in life....I will keep her home Friday since some of the children get to have fun.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,622 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>hopeland</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well...it sucks especially since my daughter has already had a crummy start in life....I will keep her home Friday since some of the children get to have fun.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Keep her home and do something really special for her, give her a party, take her out to lunch, bring a picnic to a playground and park, buy her a balloon.<br><br>
I can't believe how negative that teacher is, for little little children. What a shame. I hope this is a glitch and not indicative of the way the teacher will teach for the rest of the year. Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,039 Posts
As crummy as this seems take a moment and find out exactly what happen. My dad substitutes and some of the things that kids have tried to do on him has been quite horrible. Talk the principal and see what can be done. Maybe another disciplinary action: cleaning up before or after the festival, letters of apology to the substitute, et. I think you can be really creative on this matter.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
367 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I know sort of what she did I think... they have an inticate color system for behavior. One of the days she was on green which is spose to mean she was good. The other day she was on orange which means she was in trouble twice...once for talking, and my daughter says the other time for playing in the bathroom. She is in first grade and if they were really bad they could have sent them to the office like their discipline policy states. After emailing more with the teacher...17 of the kids dont get to attend the party and 6 do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,864 Posts
I think you need to speak with the teacher & principle too. Either something needs to be changed with the teacher, the sub or the color system if that many kids are not going over a sub being there for 2 days. IMO a teacher should not be dishing out discipline to Grade 1 kids for something that happened when a sub was there. If it was that bad why wasn't the principle brought in while the sub was there?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,157 Posts
Oh, my dd's first grade teacher last year had that color system for behavior, too, and I hate it! I really don't think that teachers of children that young should be so punitive. I also don't like the consequence of, 'you were talking too much today, so you don't get to go to a party in a few days.' It is way too far off for a little kid. The consequences should be immediate and logical. Something like, 'you were talking too much with Timmy today, so I am not going to let you sit near Timmy for the rest of the day.'<br><br>
I'm a PITA, but I'd call the parents of the other kids who are being excluded from this party and raise a stink with the principal about the discipline style in this class. It is totally inappropriate for little kids. Maybe you can all keep your kids out and have them work on an apology note to the sub together and then have your own party (that way they are having some consequence for their poor behavior -- the note -- but still not being penalized too much like the teacher is doing). Of course, I found last year that a lot of the other parents weren't as AP as I am and thought that it was fine to whip their little kids into shape <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> .
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,952 Posts
I work in a public school and just wanted to offer a different perspective.<br><br>
I think those of us with well behaved children should be HAPPY about a good discipline system in the school. The teachers at my school with poor classroom discipline have wild classes. The kids who are well behaved and want to learn miss out on learning due to distractions and constant discipline problems.<br><br>
As far as a discipline referral to the office, some things do not warrant such a referral. I imagine you'd be pretty beside yourself if your child was sent to the principal and suspended for playing in the bathroom. Punishments like that are for larger violations.<br><br>
I have many friends who react the same as you do to these disciplinary actions for rather minor infractions. You may think "playing the bathroom. what's the big deal?" Well, I'll tell you its a HUGE deal when you are trying to get 20 kids in and out of the bathroom in a reasonable time frame and back to learning in the classroom.<br><br>
There is nothing wrong with expectations and consequences for when this behavior is not met. I firmly believe that children who treat a substitute badly SHOULD be punished when their teacher returns. It happened to me, and it was well deserved because we were rotten brats to a sub, but we would never do that with our teacher. I'm sure the kids are aware they did something wrong, and may think twice next time there is a sub.<br><br>
It sucks for your DD since she was absent those days. Perhaps for that reason, she can be exempted and go to the festival.<br><br>
I think the teacher has an excellent point about consequences at home. Everyone thinks their child is innocent, but you should really stop to think about this one. If conduct grades come home that are poor, consequences at home are appropriate. It doesn't mean beating your kid of course! But taking away priviledges is appropriate in my eyes. I do not believe we send a good message to our children if we ignore/allow bad behavior in school.<br><br>
I'm not saying there's one right answer here. I just caution everyone not to automatically think a teacher is ridiculous for having rules that would seem strict in your home. My friend is an excellent 3rd grade teacher, and one of the reasons is that the kids clearly understand her expectations. They LOVE her, but they experience consequences if they do not walk in a line appropriately etc. The order that results allows them to do all kinds of experiments in the classroom and fun hands on activities because she has them working together appropriately and orderly. The sometimes "little" things are in place for a bigger reason.<br><br>
First graders are old enough to know not to talk in class, play in the bathroom, and treat a sub poorly. And they do understand cause and effect enough to understand that their actions now may affect a reward later in the week.<br><br>
Again, sorry for your DD who was not present for the substitute incident. I would ask the teacher about this, since she was absent.<br><br>
By the way, this is the reason I am a speech pathologist and see kids in groups of 5 or less. I don't enjoy being a disciplinarian, but I admire those teachers that do it effectively and are able to provide a warm, loving and supportive learning environment for students.<br>
XOXO<br>
Beth
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,145 Posts
I think it's important to find out what kind of misbehavior was going on when the teacher was out.<br><br>
The teacher faces a very real problem if there are discipline issues when there is a sub. An out of control classroom can be a dangerous place.<br><br>
It's up to her to nip that problem in the bud.<br><br>
So far, she has a) informed the parents of the previous problem and b) informed the parents of her new method to discourage future problems. It sounds to me like she is trying to avoid penalizing the entire class by instituting her three strikes policy.<br><br>
It may sound harsh to a gentle mama, but you HAVE to remember that the teacher is dealing with a large group of kids, many of whom do not have the benefit of being taught appropriate social skills.<br><br>
It sounds to me like she is doing the best she can.<br><br>
chinaKat<br><br>
ps what is your child's take on what happened in school those two days?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,157 Posts
Beth, I appreciate your perspective and see where you are coming from. I just want to be clear that I don't let my girls behave like hellions and get away with it. I may be coming from a different spot b/c my older dd, in particular, is very, very sensitive. She doesn't need a disciplinarian in order to get her to behave. If she likes the teacher, she will do anything to please her.<br><br>
Ideally, I'd like to think that most little kids still retain enough respect for authority that they can be made to behave with a softer touch. I suppose that is not always the case. For my dd, though, it is pretty much the only way. She only once had to "move a color" last year and she came home terrified of the teacher b/c the teacher had yelled at her. She was also a nervous wreck all year b/c she was hearing all day long the teacher yelling at the kids in the class. Even if it wasn't her being intimidated into behaving, she saw the intimidation taking place with other kids and was afraid.<br><br>
I see it much the same as parenting by fear. You can get your kids to behave by threatening to hit them, but in the long run it is counterproductive to your relationship with them. My dd's second grade teacher this year is very soft spoken and nuturing and her class is actually much better behaved than last year's class. The kids want to do right by her b/c she is good to them. For my kid, at least, this works much, much better. She has soared emotionally and academically in this kind of environment whereas last year she was basically walking on broken glass all year afraid of getting in trouble.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,069 Posts
The teacher is making this much ruckus over incidents like children talking in class and playing in the bathroom?????????? These are <i>first</i> graders?<br><br>
If students this age are disrepectful or dismissive toward adults, then it might be a parent problem.<br><br>
But if students are simply talking too much in class and goof off in the bathroom, it's a teacher/school problem.<br><br>
A parent can only help this situation by conveying the idea that they are on the same page as the teacher, and support the teacher. But realistically, they can't do much more, not with first graders, if they're not there in the school where and when the trouble is going on.<br><br>
The reason an entire class is disruptive is because it <i>feels</i> right to the students to be so. This dynamic can start with just one or two children who may have a tendency act up, setting a stronger 'tone' about how to behave in the class than the 'tone' the teacher is setting.<br><br>
And if the teacher is convinced this is a problem that only parents can fix by punishing their children at home, the problem probably <i>won't</i> get fixed. I wonder if her poor classroom management might be creating the problem she feels coming from parents--that they don't follow through at home. Duh-teacher! If all you do is hand out stupid rewards and punishments for stuff like this, no wonder the parents don't take the problem seriously with their children at home too. (Does this colored card system really work <i>anywhere</i>? And if it isn't working, as it sounds in this case, why stick with it?)<br><br>
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! It's awful. But I don't think it would be constructive to give your daughter a special treat Friday...even though the teacher may not deserve deference, it isn't constructive to undermine her either. I can understand disagreeing with the punishment, but I don't think it's cool to try and undo a poor punishment with a reward either.<br><br>
Just my opinion, but you either have to find a way to support the teacher, or your child shouldn't be her class. It's not healthy for first graders to get the idea the teacher's say-so is optional or discretionary when it isn't. That might work in a democratic school, but that will cause a child a lot of long-term conflict in schools that aren't designed to operate that way.<br><br>
Linda
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,952 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The teacher is making this much ruckus over incidents like children talking in class and playing in the bathroom?????????? These are <i>first</i> graders?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yes, first graders ARE capable of going to the bathroom without acting crazy. Developmentally this is a completely acceptable expectation.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If students this age are disrepectful or dismissive toward adults, then it might be a parent problem.<br><br>
But if students are simply talking too much in class and goof off in the bathroom, it's a teacher/school problem.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
"Simply" is exactly my point. It is NOT a small thing. If all the children talk in class, goof off, etc. they miss instruction, they cause others to miss instruction, and its the same kids who are up to the teacher with "I don't understand, what page are we on, etc." and their parents then give the teacher grief if a child is behind academically. Even for those who are excelling, they owe their classmates a quiet learning environment. I'm not sure why anyone would disagree with teaching a child good manners.<br><br>
By proxy, it is disrespectful/dismissive toward adults to not follow rules set forth by the adults. Of course, everyone will talk in class from time to time, and everyone also makes mistakes. But constant conduct cuts are a sign to parents that the child needs some consequences at home as well.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">A parent can only help this situation by conveying the idea that they are on the same page as the teacher, and support the teacher. But realistically, they can't do much more, not with first graders, if they're not there in the school where and when the trouble is going on.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
It is very easily carried over at home. If you come home with good conduct, you earn X, Y, and Z. If you have poor conduct, you lose X, Y, and Z. It communicates that you support the teacher, value learning, and value your child learning appropriate behavior in school.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The reason an entire class is disruptive is because it <i>feels</i> right to the students to be so. This dynamic can start with just one or two children who may have a tendency act up, setting a stronger 'tone' about how to behave in the class than the 'tone' the teacher is setting.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I do not for one second believe that just a few kids setting a tone then makes the other children "feel" its right. They know its wrong. Everyone knows its bad behavior to disrespect a substitute teacher. It may feel fun to be crazy or naughty, but please don't ask me to think that a kid is confused into thinking its right because they actually feel it is. Lets not sell our kids short on personal responsibility. They can choose to take the high road and be a good example even if the whole class is acting poorly. In the case of this substitute, that would be my biggest fear. That there were a few children NOT acting up, that are getting punished due to their classmates' behavior. If I were the teacher, I would ask the teacher to write down names of all who misbehaved, rather than punish the whole class. Unless, of course they were all involved.....<br><br>
Best of luck to you all. I just wish to show you that a teacher REALLY does need your support and help carrying out consequences and rewards. We reward our kids all the time for having good grades.....why not the reverse if there is bad conduct? Why does it have to be a "school issue" or a "home issue"? I expect my kids to follow the rules when I am not there and would be appreciative of being informed so I can assist in this process. I think its great that she is explaining the system so that communication between home and school is increased.<br><br>
XOXO<br>
Beth
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,069 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Yes, first graders ARE capable of going to the bathroom without acting crazy. Developmentally this is a completely acceptable expectation.</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yes of course. And it is a completely acceptible expectation that a teacher can handle this level of discipline all by herself, without angry letters to parents about how it's all their fault first graders are horsing around when they're not supposed to at school.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">"Simply" is exactly my point. It is NOT a small thing. If all the children talk in class, goof off, etc. they miss instruction, they cause others to miss instruction, and its the same kids who are up to the teacher with "I don't understand, what page are we on, etc." and their parents then give the teacher grief if a child is behind academically. Even for those who are excelling, they owe their classmates a quiet learning environment. I'm not sure why anyone would disagree with teaching a child good manners.</td>
</tr></table></div>
I think you misunderstand my point. I do believe students should be expected to learn good manners and follow the rules. I disagree that it's the parents' attitude at home that results in the majority of the class talking in school. It sounds more like a teacher who doesn't have strong classroom management or discipline skills--and that's not something a teacher can dismiss, pretending that first graders are expected to already be conditioned to behave perfectly all the time.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">It is very easily carried over at home. If you come home with good conduct, you earn X, Y, and Z. If you have poor conduct, you lose X, Y, and Z.</td>
</tr></table></div>
As a parent of four, I promise you. You can have consequences at home and at school, and your kid can still talk in school........it's practically a given if 16 other kids in the class are talking. Why? Because this isn't as effective as it sounds in theory. Just because students act up in school, no teacher should conclude from this alone that it's because of parents.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I just wish to show you that a teacher REALLY does need your support and help carrying out consequences and rewards. We reward our kids all the time for having good grades.....why not the reverse if there is bad conduct?</td>
</tr></table></div>
Actually, that's probably part of the disagreement here. Rewards and punishments are not always considered the "normal" way to discipline anymore. I don't think much of them myself--I think they don't work more than they do, and they make discipline look a little too much like dog training, to me. Clearly laid out logical consequences are much more effective in helping a teacher to 'earn' his or her authority. Children these days tend to disrespect authority more when the authority is perceived to be like some lordly figure with the unwarranted power to dole out arbitrarily determined punishments and rewards on a whim.<br><br>
So I completely agree that parents have to support the teacher. But that really puts the parent in a tough spot when the teacher hasn't really earned it.<br><br>
I wish teachers were given more useful classroom management tools and techniques. Programs like Positive Discipline in Classroom are really good. Years ago I worked with one of the authors, Stephen Glenn, who was giving somewhat related workshops for teachers into 'developing capable students', which focused on how to better instill self-discipline in young people. He was fantastic, but I don't know if his work is continued now--he passed away a few years ago, I understand.<br><br>
Linda
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,952 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yes of course. And it is a completely acceptible expectation that a teacher can handle this level of discipline all by herself, without angry letters to parents about how it's all their fault first graders are horsing around when they're not supposed to at school.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I did not see the letter, so I agree if it was "angry." I just think it can be done in a positive way to also explain to parents ahead of time the procedure. That way there's no complaints if a kids misses recess, etc.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think you misunderstand my point. I do believe students should be expected to learn good manners and follow the rules. I disagree that it's the parents' attitude at home that results in the majority of the class talking in school. It sounds more like a teacher who doesn't have strong classroom management or discipline skills--and that's not something a teacher can dismiss, pretending that first graders are expected to already be conditioned to behave perfectly all the time.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Thanks for clarifying. I agree with much of what you said here. However, you are probably not like many of the parents we have at my school. It is not hard to see that the child has NO consequences for their actions at school. They come to school bragging about how their parents don't care, they got a new X-Box, etc.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You can have consequences at home and at school, and your kid can still talk in school........it's practically a given if 16 other kids in the class are talking. Why? Because this isn't as effective as it sounds in theory. Just because students act up in school, no teacher should conclude from this alone that it's because of parents.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I don't think its practically "a given" but I do agree that a teacher's classroom management skills come into play here. I don't think any teacher who is worth their salt EVER thinks its only because of the parents. Just that parent support makes a huge difference.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Actually, that's probably part of the disagreement here. Rewards and punishments are not always considered the "normal" way to discipline anymore. I don't think much of them myself--I think they don't work more than they do, and they make discipline look a little too much like dog training, to me. Clearly laid out logical consequences are much more effective in helping a teacher to 'earn' his or her authority. Children these days tend to disrespect authority more when the authority is perceived to be like some lordly figure with the unwarranted power to dole out arbitrarily determined punishments and rewards on a whim.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
If its "arbitrarily" or "on a whim" that defeats the whole purpose. Logical consequences make sense. To me, though, it is quite logical that there is work time and play time. If you are playing during work time, you lose out on some of the fun time. That to me is logical and fair.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">So I completely agree that parents have to support the teacher. But that really puts the parent in a tough spot when the teacher hasn't really earned it.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Just wanted to comment that many teachers are working very hard, and they may or may not have effective classroom management skills. This, to me, is all the more reason to work with them. Rather than think of what they have "earned." I know that teachers, in almost every respect, earn a lot more than they ever get (financially, emotionally, etc.). I watch my teachers work their hearts out every single day, only to get shit from parents, and people drop off their kids expecting them to do EVERYTHING (from teaching academics to morals to behavior). You are obviously not one of those parents, but its parents like you that can really help the teacher out.<br><br>
XOXO<br>
Beth
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,411 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LindaCl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yes of course. And it is a completely acceptible expectation that a teacher can handle this level of discipline all by herself, without angry letters to parents about how it's all their fault first graders are horsing around when they're not supposed to at school.<br><br><br>
::snip::<br><br>
I wish teachers were given more useful classroom management tools and techniques. Programs like Positive Discipline in Classroom are really good. Years ago I worked with one of the authors, Stephen Glenn, who was giving somewhat related workshops for teachers into 'developing capable students', which focused on how to better instill self-discipline in young people. He was fantastic, but I don't know if his work is continued now--he passed away a few years ago, I understand.<br><br>
Linda</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br><br>
no, sometimes the little things need to go home too. There are a good number of kids who start the school year thinking they can do whatever they want and their parents won't care. They think it's ok to run away from adults, create dangerous situations, and act disrespectfully.<br><br>
Then there are the kids who don't want to cause major problems, but just don't take things seriously. They think it's ok to play around b/c the school won't use punishments anyway. Many, many punishments are illegal or likely to provoke a strong parental response, even if they are milder than a time out. Teachers need to get the parents on board early in the year to talk to their kids every day about what they are learning at school, how they are acting, etc. Not every parent wants to be involved. I can't tell you how many times I've been told "While he's at school, you deal with it. It's not my business. Don't involve me in his school behavior."<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
So the notes like that need to go home for the benfit of all parents and all kids hearing it, which means involved, helpful parents will also have to hear things time to time.<br><br>
Consequenses in school systems are actually a major problem-- schools hands are tied to punish a dangerous student, yet they must legally keep the other kids safe. It's impossible to find a balance there.<br><br>
Situations with subs can quickly become extremely dangerous. Kids need to know that they have to stay safe and keep the same tone, regardless of how is there.<br><br>
And yes, this even happens in schools that exclusively use PD. We use PD at my school and parental contact is a big compenent. Lighting systems (red, yellow, green lights) CAN be part of PD if it serves as a "cool down" kind of warning.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,560 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Altair</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Many, many punishments are illegal or likely to provoke a strong parental response, even if they are milder than a time out.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I'm just so curious. What punishments that are illegal or likely to provoke a strong parental response, yet are milder than a time out are you referring to?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,103 Posts
just a comment on the color systems used in classrooms--my problem with them is that I've never seen a teacher use the system where the child is able to earn the "better" color back. I can see using it almost like a continuum--the child might have a hard morning but work really hard and make up for it in the afternoon, or even within that same morning--but when you use it only in a negative way, where the colors only go south on a kid, well, what's the use? Some kids are going to purposely come in ranting just to get the color change over with immediately...self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe you can bring that up to the teacher?
 
1 - 20 of 69 Posts
Top