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I think you need to speak with the teacher & principle too. Either something needs to be changed with the teacher, the sub or the color system if that many kids are not going over a sub being there for 2 days. IMO a teacher should not be dishing out discipline to Grade 1 kids for something that happened when a sub was there. If it was that bad why wasn't the principle brought in while the sub was there?
 

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I think those of us with well behaved children should be HAPPY about a good discipline system in the school. The teachers at my school with poor classroom discipline have wild classes. The kids who are well behaved and want to learn miss out on learning due to distractions and constant discipline problems.
Personally I don't consider this type of discipline a good system. My kids would not be in a school system where a color reward system was in place. If you look around and talk to people who are in a system like this it causes way more problems than it prevents, if it prevents any at all.

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As far as a discipline referral to the office, some things do not warrant such a referral. I imagine you'd be pretty beside yourself if your child was sent to the principal and suspended for playing in the bathroom. Punishments like that are for larger violations.
If the class is that out of control bring the principal into the classroom and talk to the entire class about behaviour. Bringing in an authority figure that is a common face in the school can snap their behaviour into place, especially when it's the principal who gets the most attention. Nobody said anything about being suspended but since you mention it that's(in school suspension) basically what is happening to the 17kids not being allowed at the party for something that happened 3, 4 or more days before the party. IMO for a kid to be suspended the action must be severe not something that most kids do a few times a year from Kindergarten up until Grade 12.

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I have many friends who react the same as you do to these disciplinary actions for rather minor infractions. You may think "playing the bathroom. what's the big deal?" Well, I'll tell you its a HUGE deal when you are trying to get 20 kids in and out of the bathroom in a reasonable time frame and back to learning in the classroom.
I disagree. I"ve been at my dd's school in the office which is across from the girls bathroom. They dd's class(grade 2) were taking longer than necessary so the first class aid went in and told the girls to hurry up. That's all she said and the girls were all out of there in less than 2 minutes.

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There is nothing wrong with expectations and consequences for when this behavior is not met. I firmly believe that children who treat a substitute badly SHOULD be punished when their teacher returns. It happened to me, and it was well deserved because we were rotten brats to a sub, but we would never do that with our teacher. I'm sure the kids are aware they did something wrong, and may think twice next time there is a sub.
Based on my experience a good sub doesn't have these problems. If they do, the teacher had the same problems with the kids when they were there.

IMO the teacher has stepped way out of bounds. She is telling the parents how to parent their children. It is not her job or right to do that. She told the OP that the whole class was not attending, but later says 6 kids are, 17 aren't. The 3 strikes rule is new. How new is it if she's mentioning it to the parents now? Was it in place at the beginning of school? How many days in advance is she giving the kids for them not attending things. A field trip in 10 days is a long stretch for 6yo's.

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"Simply" is exactly my point. It is NOT a small thing. If all the children talk in class, goof off, etc. they miss instruction, they cause others to miss instruction, and its the same kids who are up to the teacher with "I don't understand, what page are we on, etc." and their parents then give the teacher grief if a child is behind academically. Even for those who are excelling, they owe their classmates a quiet learning environment. I'm not sure why anyone would disagree with teaching a child good manners.
IMO it depends on how the class was being taught during the talking. Was it during instruction time? Was the class working on it's own? Was the class walking to and from another room(if you read other boards you'd see kids get in trouble for doing this)? Was it whispering? Was it loudly talking to another kid? Was it about a toy at home, or was it about school work that they were doing? Was is every kid in the class or was it 1 or 2 kids?

In my dd's school the kids are allowed to talk quietly about the work, or if it they are done their work. If it gets out of hand they are shown respect when asked to stop and the kids stop.

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It is very easily carried over at home. If you come home with good conduct, you earn X, Y, and Z. If you have poor conduct, you lose X, Y, and Z. It communicates that you support the teacher, value learning, and value your child learning appropriate behavior in school.
I disagree with reward systems like this and would not carry out something at home that the school does which I do not agree with. A parent suddenly changing their style to suit a teacher does not do their child any good.

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Its when a kid has been given 5 or 6 verbal warnings to straighten up. There is MORE than enough chances to choose the appropriate behavior. I do not believe you should earn your way back when you had many chances to not make the choices you did, and verbal help to choose the right path
Perhaps giving 5 or 6 warnings is the problem. They are testing to see how many times they can get away with it before further discipline is done.

At my dd's school they're told 1 or 2 times. If that doesn't work they're taken out of the classroom for a talking to. IF that doesn't work they're sent to the principal for her to talk to them. If that doesn't work or if the behaviour is severe a behaviour report is sent home. If you get 2 behaviour reports the parents are brought into the school to discuss the situation. Usually it is only severe behaviours that a report is sent home and rarely is there 2 or a child suspended. The behaviours listed in the OP's posts are nothing that would go beyond the principal if it even got that far.
 

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I can't speak to the people you know, but it works quite well at our school. Young kids do well with concrete reminders and examples. they enjoy bringing home their "happy face" to show to mom and dad, and they actively avoid doing things that will cause a downgrade there. Again, I stress that the child is given cues to correct behavior. Its not that they are talking and the teacher yells out "change your color."
I know how a color reward system works. I know that the teachers don't do that. It's still a system I do not agree with.

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That situation is NOTHING like in school suspension. I'm sorry, I disagree totally. Missing out on a reward is not the same as being removed from your classroom for the day, missing instruction, etc. and getting a mark on your record as a suspension. That is MUCH more serious.
The in school suspensions that were in my school were not marked against your records. IMO missing a reward is the same as being removed from the classroom or instruction, learning goes beyond academics and an event like a harvest party is instruction in other life aspects. Also, in school suspensions always included instruction.

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Grade 2 girls should know better than mess around in a bathroom. If it only happens once in a while, then having the aide tell them to hurry up is fine. But kids are consistently playing around, thats different.
I agree. I don't know exactly what the girls were doing other than they were told to hurry up because they were taking too long. All I know for sure is that they were told to hurry up and that my dd had gone in and left before they were told that.lol

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We have kids at our school who are always in the bathroom running around, messing with other kids, etc. Its dangerous even. Like someone said earlier, it doesn't take much to get a lot of kids off track. That is just not okay, and ridiculous. Our solution at our school is to have a child be assigned as bathroom monitor when their class goes to the restroom.
Out of curiosity do the classes in your school have aids? I've noticed in discussions on a few boards that alot of classes don't and I think that having them can help keep misbehaving to a minimum. The classes in my dd's school all have 1 full time TA. Some have more than 1(or another that's parttime) if there is a child with special needs. The TA's can handle situations where the kids need a talking to without having to disrupt the instruction.

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Even if you have a "bad" sub, your kids should know how to behave. Please remember that these people get paid $70/day (and I think that our district actually pays better than some). This is another example where I feel parents have pie in the sky expectations for people who get paid close to the poverty level. Our teachers aides get paid $12,000 a year, and we'll have parents asking if they are trained in the lovaas method. GIVE ME A BREAK. Its a sorry state of affairs, and I wish taxpayers would prioritize our schools a little more, but I'd love to know how many people out there would live up to their own expectations of teachers, aides, and subs with the amount of pay and difficult situations they face daily. They are truly angels and deserve our support, not criticism. I'll be the first to tell you that we often get "bad" subs (when it comes to discipline management). Its almost impossible to be a good sub when it comes to that, cuz kids notoriously treat subs like crap. My best friend was a sub for a while, and she said she basically had to not smile, or the day was over for her. Thats pathetic. I think our kids should have respect for a teacher regardless, and parents excusing it as a "bad sub" is unacceptable to me.
I agree that they should have respect for subs, I was just saying that there are subs who are "bad" in that they don't know how to get control of a class. The teachers here all have head/microphones hooked into a speaker system in case they need to get louder to get attention without having to yell. Sometimes they use them for instruction, other times they use them until all the kids are listening and then they turn them off and go back to regular voice.

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She is asking for SUPPORT. Unfortunately, teachers often need to tell parents how to parent to some extent. Many of our parents welcome this information, because quite frankly, their kids' discipline SUCKS at home and they are sick of it too.
IMO she can offer support without berating all of the parents. The kids who have parents who have discipline issues should either be brought in or a separate letter could have been sent with them. I know teachers have alot of work outside of school hours to do and their time is limited. Unfortunatly the parents who do believe their children can do no wrong can look at a general letter and think that the teacher is directing that at other people not them when they could have a child who has bad behaviour. IOW, it can go either way.

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For parents who do have well behaved kids, don't take a letter like that personally. It is not necessarily directed at you.
As a parent who receives a note who does not know whether all the other kids received a note too, it is very hard to know whether to take it personally, especially when the principal is agreeing that it could have been a better note.

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Our school is no different. I get the feeling you guys think that its like Attila the Hun and every kid is screamed at all day.
No, I do not think it is this way but I do think that some little things which are age appropriate behaviours can be blown out of proportion. Going in with my last statement in this post, unfortunatly I think some people get impressions like this because of the horror stories of school that are out there. Our school is pretty good and from stories I hear of other people's schools I am quite thankful for that. There are policies I don't agree with of course but for the most part it is good. The grading system is one of them, but the teachers themselves don't understand why it is that way either.

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But I've also seen kids break down crying because the people next to him are finished and talking and he can't get his work done.
That is too bad things like this happen.

I know alot of things can be blown out of proportion, on both sides of every situation and it is very plausible that anyone in this discussion or in the situation did that. Last year my dd broke down crying at school. My neighbor saw her crying and told me that Tirza had done something at school, got in trouble for it and was crying because of it. She said she walked in after my dd had been crying. Turns out one of the girls in her center activity who has behaviour issues didn't want to put the centers away when it was time to. She started screaming which scared my dd and my dd started crying because she was scared.

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Students and teacher are doing a cooking lesson. Every student gets to take turns doing the mixing and pouring. One child is 100% out of control (which is normal for this child, and he has extensive behavior systems in place to help him). Even as he is trying his hardest to destroy the activity for all involved, I am not allowed to send him away from the table while we work. If he *wants* to he can go to the break area for a cool down time, but the break area is not a time out place, he can't be forced to go there.
This sounds like the child my dd was scared of. The TA spent most of her time dealing with this child. There was a room across the hall from the class and she was often taken in there(only as physical as placing a hand on her back to guide her to the room) to calm down if they couldn't calm her in the class. She often had outbursts and threatened to call her mom(not that her mom was the type to flip out at the school, it was an idle threat that would go nowhere). If she would not calm down after 2-5minutes they'd take her to the principal's office. I don't know what went on after that.

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A very experienced teacher can find a way to calmy keep everyone safe, but it takes YEARS to learn these skills, and we are never *taught* them, we must figure them out through trial and error.
This is why the schools have brought the head/microphone systems in. I know they're not cheap, but they get grants to pay for them due to special needs kids. I think the one for the playschool was around $11,000 to get it and installed, I could be wrong it's been 4years.

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There ARE many many parents who think it's a great idea to give a child soda and candy for breakfast before school.
Yeah, I babysit one of them in the morning. Then at parent teacher interviews her mom(single mom who gives her dd everything she wants and if mom doesn't grandma does) wonders why the teacher says her dd bounces around. I avoid giving my dd chocolate. 1 piece and she could give Tigger some competition. I won't send her to school with any chocolate because she can't stop, sit still and listen when she's like that and I don't think the teachers should have to try and get her to when it's something that can be prevented.

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Then there are parents who tell the child "You don't have to listen to the teacher. If she tells you to do something and you get in trouble for not doing it, just tell me and I'll take care of it."
I agree and disagree. I tell my dd that there is often more than 1 answer to questions, that's it's okay to question the why's about a subject/answer or if she disagrees on having a wrong answer. If she does something and gets in trouble with it AND I feel it was something she should not be in trouble for I'll question the teacher. Example was when I was in Grade 11. Legally I was at an age where I did not have to go to school. My home room teacher had a rule on if you missed a day you had to bring a note. I missed a day for getting glasses or something, it was a legit reason. Mom went to work before I came downstairs in the morning and after supper I forgot to get a note and she was in bed by 9pm. After 3 days if you didn't bring a note you had to write a story. The teacher & I clashed all the time anyhow and I never liked him so I wrote a comedy story about a teacher who had this stupid rule. He didn't find it quite so funny and called my mom. Mom didn't think that i needed to send a note and ripped him up 1 side and down the other. He never called on me to answer any biology questions anymore after that. This was a teacher who about 6 years before hit a Grade 7 kid and drew blood but never got in trouble for it.

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That doesn't have to be through any particular parenting system/method. It just needs to be there.
I agree. In places where there is no parenting it is the children who end up harmed from it and become a societal issue later in life.

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In my school we are encouraged to send letters home detailing our school discipline system, and detailing consequences/rewards that were given.
Do you do this at the beginning of the year or when an incident happens? From the OP it sounds like this new system was not mentioned before. Here each kid received an Agenda and the behaviour plan(they don't mention the word discipline) are in the agenda. Each family is required to read throught the behaviour plan with their child and have both the parent and child sign it.

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I think it's easy to foget when talking to AP parents that not every parent is doing what's right for their children, as you are.
I agree, but would take it a step further and take out the AP part. There are many non-AP parents just as or more involved in their childrens school lives. At my school they love it when parents come in to help and they say they never get enough, but also that there are many parents who have never stepped foot in the school. About 6weeks ago my dd had a note in her agenda that she would write her spelling test on Monday instead of Friday with the rest of the class. When I asked my dd about that she said she was in another room doing other tests. I had no idea what was going on and went to the school Mon after school to find out what was going on. Her teacher was surprised to find out that I knew about it and that I had come in to ask what was going on. They don't normally let parents know when they're doing these tests to see what level the kid is at. Sorry but if i get a note as short as it was with no explanation on why you bet I'm coming in. However there are so many parents who would say, okay whatever IF they read the agenda at all.

There are incentives for the kids to have their parents read their agendas which I guess is like a reward system. Each agenda has a number and every day 2 or 3 (1 for each division and i think K is on their own) numbers are called and if their agenda was signed the previous day they get a pencil from the office. Each number is called once until they've gone through every child. I don't read and sign the agena for this reason, I do it because I want to know what's going on in my dd's education since she "forgets" because she's "too tired".lol
 

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I went on my dd's field trip and could not believe some of the lunches kids were brought. One kid had a can of MOUNTAIN DEW , and this is Kindergarten.
Well I've done this and it's not because I'm a bad parent. A field trip is a special occassion and I'll send treats on special occassions for my kids.

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However, one child in particular had a soda, a lunchable (all fat and sodium), a bag of cheetos, a bag of M & Ms, and TWO adult size candy bars.
My kids may eat that amount(not necessarily that food and not all together) at home, but on a field trip they're too excited about everything else to eat half of that amount of food. My dd was taking way more food to school the first 2 weeks, I was getting a little scared at what the budget would look like.lol It has slowed down alot since then and some days she doesn't finish everything.
 
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