Mothering Forum banner

1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
340 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello,

So I just started homeschooling my 10 yo DD and 8 yo DS. They attended public school previously. My DD like school okay but had a lot of anxiety about it. My DS has hated school since he started Kindergarten.

I signed them up for the one-day a week Options program through the school district thinking that would make the transition easier. My DD likes it but my DS does not.

So I'm really struggling because I feel like it is good for him to have one day a week where he can socialize (though he hasn't tried yet) and have interactions with other people besides me. They are all fun, enrichment type classes. He has been two times now and this morning he just cried and didn't want to go.

I feel like he hasn't given it a long enough chance but part of me feels awful forcing him to go. I worry he is traumatized from school and maybe shouldn't go to any "school" type thing. But I also know he really plays up the drama for my benefit and is not so miserable while he's there.

Does anyone have any experience or advice they can share?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
254 Posts
I was thinking his reaction sounds like he's traumatized, but you came to that conclusion yourself. I would suggest listening to him, he doesn't want to go, he needs a break. My guy certainly did when we took him out of school. Also as to his playing it up, maybe he has to, to be heard, and is okay when he gets there because what choice does he have.
Give him time and maybe in a few months he'll be ready to choose to try it again.
I know it's hard, I worried with my guy that he needed to 'do' something, it was a big mistake.
Good luck
Anna
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,681 Posts
I developed an over-use injury in my left hip a few years ago from running. As part of my recovery I had to stop running entirely for a while to rest and heal. Then I started back gradually, using different shoes and some special exercises and a redesign of my running form. Eventually I got stronger and was able to run faster and farther than ever.

I would suggest that your ds probably needs an analogous approach to group socializing and institutional learning. A complete rest, and then a gradually instituted re-designed approach. That's what will make him stronger, happier, better.

Miranda
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
182 Posts
babsbob, hows it going?

Is this one day a week (Options) program your kids are now going to back at the same school they were at previously full time? If yes--is there a chance your ds is feeling some awkwardness around his friends/classmates, going back to a school that he suddenly only has to attend 1 day per week? Kids can sometimes come to their own conclusions about things. Maybe his classmates are wondering why or are coming to their own conclusions about why he's now attending only 1 day. When I switched schools for one of my kids, despite what I told him and we told the parents of his friends, my son believed he was switching because he wasn't smart enough to stay in that school, which was not at all true and took some time before we could get him to come around; and he even told a few of his friends that!

If its a different school altogether or a homeschool program you are dropping him off at--sounds like a break would be helpful like the other posters suggested.

FWIW I also pulled my kids out of a private school to homeschool a few years back, and had a number of structured out of the house activities lined up for my kids right away (we still do some of them and love them). We didn't need to rush to do them though. I could have waited. I had some fear of just staying home and doing work at the family table, like it was going to be super boring for all of us, we'd drive eachother nuts, or would reverse my kids socially. Plus I'm pretty social and wanted to meet my own needs too and thought that would help. The classes outside of the house did help us transition in some aspects, but the fears that drove me to schedule them were unwarranted. Now, ironically, I still love being social and getting out, but I equally love just staying home to connect with the kids in the house and working with them to see where their curiosity takes them next (we mostly unschool now).
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top