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Discussion Starter #1
We are going to be using the city bus a lot this summer. My five (almost 6) year old found out that standing is allowed when holding the rail. I am not comfortable with him standing because if the bus made a sudden stop, it would be hard for him to hold on. He is insistent that he should be able to stand and that he can hold on really tight. The buses aren't ever full enough that anyone has to stand, he just thinks it is fun. So, is this safe or can someone point me to something that says it isn't safe? If I could read him something from a website, my argument would hold more credibility!<br>
Thanks
 

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He's five, right? You don't have to prove to him that you're right. He's safer sitting. You tell him to sit. No further discussion necessary <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
You could say something about how the poles are designed for adult-sized people and are not safe for children to use, much like the front seat of a car. It's been a while since I was around a 5 year old so I am not sure if that would help him understand or not.
 

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I allowed my 2.5 y old to stand on the subway in NYC. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:
 

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I've never been on the NY subway, but I do know that would be a pretty bad idea here. You're not likely to be injured in the way you would in a car wreck, but if they have to slam on the breaks you want to be contained in your little egg crate* or you're gonna fly. I say that having been in a couple mash-ups on the bus.<br><br>
*They actually designed public transit seating "in the style of" egg crates.
 

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How many kids do you have? If my son wanted to stand I'd let him, as long as i had a free hand to be there to catch or grab him in case of a sudden stop. However if i had other kids that I would need to attend, that probably wouldn't work. Can he stand sort of in-between your legs?
 

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This reminds me of this one time I went to Boston with the kids in the double stroller. I hadn't really thought too much about using the T (and THAT turned out to be a HUGE pita, thank you very much, but thank God the green line passengers were nice enough to help me lift that thing up there), and the whole time, I am petrified of a crash. I had them done up in five point restraints in the stroller and I kept squirreling around the car trying to find the most secure looking place to stick it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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From what I could tell on the NYC subway, if they hit the brakes, he was going to go places, seated or standing.<br><br>
A friend or I stood with him/next to him, and when he was standing there were lots of people he would have fallen into.<br><br>
I really think it depends on the public transit situation...whether standing is a good or bad idea.<br><br>
Our train and bus situation in Houston would be much better for children to be seated.
 

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I stood on buses when I was that age, usually because they were full. I'd tell him to hang on with two hands and pay close attention to the bus slowing down and speeding up, and he'll be fine.
 

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I had never really thought about it, since there's plenty of standing-room only public transit here.<br><br>
I was soo relieved when dd finally got comfortable with standing, since now she doesn't freak out when it's full. She used to shout "whoa! WHOA! Help, I don't like this!" until someone gave her a seat <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> . I spent a long time trying to encourage her to be ok standing, when it wasn't so full. (come on! let's surf together, yay, this is fun!). I just don't want her to do chin-ups at the overhead bar like the teenagers. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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first of all you don't have to prove anything to your 6 year old. My kids sit and that is the end of the story. My 4 year old sits on my lap because she has gone flying off the seat before.<br><br>
I also think the number of people in the bus makes a difference. on a crowded bus they may lean into someone where on an empty bus (we are usually about the only passengers on it) you could really go flying. Also our public transit system here is pretty small so I know the drivers and routes and traffic patterns pretty well. there are time I would consider letting them stand (right driver, right route) and times that I would make people get up if i had to so the kids could have a seat (although people always move for them before we even have a chance to notice if there are any seats available)
 

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I would just tell him that sitting is safer and that we can only stand when there are no seats available for us to sit in.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mamaverdi</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7918445"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I allowed my 2.5 y old to stand on the subway in NYC. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:</div>
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Ditto for my 2.5 year old here in Rome, both on the subway and on the bus.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: Are there any statistics regarding people (including children) getting killed or seriously injured on buses from standing up and holding the pole? I have never seen any.
 

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Does it make a difference to you to know that you child is statistically safer standing on a bus or subway holding the pole than they would be securely buckled into a carseat traveling by car? I mean, said child might be more likely to get a skinned knee in option one, but is several times as likely to die in option two.
 

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we must have seriously crappy bus drivers here. because if I am not holding on to my 4 year old with pretty good force she will go flying off the seat or my lap. My six year old knows to brace herself while sitting lest she go flying. forget about standing up.<br><br>
However I have ridden on the L in Chicago and wouldn't have a problem with them standing on that. it doesn't stop, swerve or jerk like our city buses do.
 

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he will see fast that it is more fun to rest when you have been walking all day when you have a chance to sit then you take it my dd learnt fast i just always held on to her clothing now almost 5 i just keep a hand ready she stands on buses and on the subway
 

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My dd never wants to stand, she likes to look out of the window.....ds likes to stand, I usually loop a finger through his belt loop and hold on to him that way.
 

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I would actually maybe find a way to explain it with a toy car/bus and people. If the mostly empty bus stops suddenly or runs into something then the falls will be rough. If it's packed with people, (which is when you're supposed to stand) then they won't generally go anywhere. So it's only really safe to stand when it's crowded, imo.<br><br>
The subway is a little different. It can be jerky and it can go fast, but generally only between certain stations. So I let dd stand and I stand behind her when I know the route and the usual speed and bumpiness of the route. And when the driver doesn't seem to be goofing around with the speed and brakes, which sometimes happens.
 

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hmmm. i don't drive so i know what you're going through. my dd stands on the bus when she wants to, i just make sure i hold on to her. our busses here don't get too out of control with the jerking around though. unless the driver gets cut off or something. they have to drive pretty slow anyway because of the bus stops. umm...i say let him try it, sometimes you have to let your child learn their own lessons. of course it all depends on whether or not you have a free hand to grab him.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Of course, we have ridden the bus two times since and he hasn't brought it up again!<br>
As far as just telling him no, um, he is a very spirited child. That just isn't going to fly.<br>
I do have two other kids, but they are older. I will let him try it with me standing in front of him with a hand on him or near him, if he wants to. Thanks for the advice.
 
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