[cravenab00]

I was 16 when I had my first child. I breastfed, much to everyones objections. Many told me that I was "too young" to breastfeed.
The only place I was allowed to pump was the bathroom, and the only time I was allowed to pump was lunch time. There was only 5 minutes between classes so that wasnt an option. So I ate my lunch in the bathroom and pumped.

: It was "unacceptable" for me to leave class to pump. and it was "unsanitary" for me to pump anywhere but the bathroom.
I ended up weaning at 6 months, because I had almost no milk left, and I had had to supplement so much.

How can I ( we, us, whatever) help get better accomodations for teen moms who choose to breastfeed?

I am still angry and resentful about this 8 years later.

Thanks!

 

[Mommy Piadosa]

Our adult ed has a program for teen moms that includes an on site daycare, with an attatched nursing / pumping room. Each mother spends one period a day in the daycare as child development credits- and breastfeeding mothers are allowed to pick what period they want to be there- when they are done they have recv'd a real high school diploma.
Would a program like this be helpful in more areas? Or is it too isolating- the mothers are no longer at their original high school with their peers?

 

[wende]

I'm not sure. I know that when I had my dd at 15 it was isolating to be at my regular high school. Nobody seemed to understand that I needed to be home with the baby. There were no parties, there was no going out. They really didn't understand my breastfeeding. I started going to an "alternative school" that was built for teen parents. By then my dd was 6 months old and I had quit nursing her. I don't remember them doing anything special for nursing moms. I do know that we spent the majority of our day learning about parenting stuff and very little learing "school" stuff. We'd all be graduated after our senior year with a diploma though I am not sure how since I never took a math class, english class, history class...though they did offer a ceramics class

. Anyhow, I dropped out of that too and ended up getting my GED.

I don't know what it will take to get good programs out there for teenage moms. I think that it's easier for society as a whole to imagine that teens don't have sex or babies and that those who do are going to be horrible parents anyhow so why accomodate them. Plus, if we don't offer them anything decent than maybe they'll just stop having babies.

 

[frogguruami]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wende Plus, if we don't offer them anything decent than maybe they'll just stop having babies.

I believe you have hit on the first hurdle that needs to be overcome. After all if we make parenting easier then every 15 year old is going to run out and have a baby!

:

 

[My4Boys]

Since ignoring the problem doesn't usually make it go away...I would suggest addressing your local school board. Find out what if anything they already have in place, offer to chair a committee to look into what can be done. Tell them your story. Maybe you'll pioneer a great new program, maybe you'll just get some closure on something that has been bothering you for so long. Either way, its worth a try!

 

[minkajane]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cravenab00 I was 16 when I had my first child. I breastfed, much to everyones objections. Many told me that I was "too young" to breastfeed.

First, I want to say

to you for BFing, especially for pumping!!! I don't know a single teen mom who breastfed longer than 3 months (and only one mom made it that long).

I think a big reason more teen moms don't breastfeed IS because they're young. They want to be able to give someone the baby and a bottle and go do their thing. It is selfish, because that's a selfish age. We were ALL self-absorbed as teenagers. I probably would have BF at first if I had gotten pregnant in high school, but I most likely wouldn't have pumped, especially since I guarantee I would've been told to do it in the bathroom. So I likely would've weaned when I went back to school.

I think it's very important to have childcare options available in larger high schools. Making things harder isn't going to keep girls from getting pregnant, it's just going to make more of them get abortions and adopt their babies away. If teen moms are able to be with their babies and nurse them and not be judged for having them - something which is over and done with and can't be changed - then I think it would help them to be better moms.

I may be biased because the only teen mom I know at the moment dropped out of school when she got pregnant, circ'd her son (even though the dad is intact) because the doc told her to, never once put her son to breast, bottle-propped from the start, and tells her 9-month-old to "stop whining" when he cries. But I think if there were more opportunities for parenting and BFing education for these moms, they would be better and happier moms with happier and healthier babies.

 

[babykaoss]

:

I'm impressed by your dedication to pumping and nursing as a highschooler!

 

[Luthien Arcamenel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by amseiler I believe you have hit on the first hurdle that needs to be overcome. After all if we make parenting easier then every 15 year old is going to run out and have a baby! :

And that's what's so great about formula. If teenagers knew that they could feed their babies for free, there would be no stopping them! Little rabbits.

 

[moonfirefaery]

Good for you for BFing even though it was hard. A lot of teen moms chose right from the start not to BF because they assume they can't. They figure their milk will dry up soon anyway so why bother? Even though BFing for a little bit is better than not BFing at all. There's also working moms that chose not to BF because they can't pump. You went to school and ate your 30 minute lunch in the bathroom to pump and did it for six months. WOW. If you can do that I think it's obvious that many others can but just don't try.

We do need to fix this problem. We have to educate people. I don't think you should be excused from class, but you should be given more than 5 minutes between classes FOR these sorts of reasons. At least 10-15 minutes. This way people can go potty, go to their lockers, get from one side of the school to the other, and take care of any other business. Lunch also needs to be longer than 30 minutes. And definitely, they should allow a young woman to go to the nurse's station to pump. And you know, kids that have to take meds get to leave class to take those meds. why shouldn't mothers be allowed to take 10 minutes to go pump?

 

[jessjgh1]

Another thing to do is find a school with a supportive program already in place. Talk with people at this school about the program, why it was instituted, how it evolved, it's successes. Ask if you can have a copy of the policy so that you can share it with your school district. Then present this schools policies to the school board.

Anyone know of any schools that have something already in place?

My son is so young I'm not really connected at this level right now. I know there is a program in one school for teen moms, but I'd have to do the research to remember what school it is,and I don't know if it does anything about breastfeeding/pumping. So hoping someone else might know of one.

Jessica

 

[DocsNemesis]

I dunno. I had my first in high school too (I graduated in 2000, so not that long ago), but it was fine for me to pump. I chose to pump IN CLASS and no one had a problem with it. I was also told I could go to the nurses area and pump there too, but I didnt want to miss 20+ minutes of class each day. The first time or two, someone made a remark, but the teacher (who happened to be male too, good for him!) told them to knock it off and I was lucky enough to have my step sister in class with me too, so she stood up for me as well.
Also, I had a teacher while I was pregnant who absolutely refused to let me go to the restroom (hello?!? I was like 8 months preggo), so I left anyway and then he refused to let me back into class-so I went to our vice principle and the school nurse. He got REAMED for it, never said a word about me going to the bathroom again. And he got fired-he wasnt back the next semester.
Thank you for bringing this up though. I think I will contact the local high schools and ask them what their policy is.

 

[AmyAngel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by moonfirefaery We do need to fix this problem. We have to educate people. I don't think you should be excused from class, but you should be given more than 5 minutes between classes FOR these sorts of reasons. At least 10-15 minutes. This way people can go potty, go to their lockers, get from one side of the school to the other, and take care of any other business. Lunch also needs to be longer than 30 minutes.

I strongly suspect that the idea of having more time between classes and for lunch absolutely terrifies many people-of-power in high schools. If you barely have time to get from one class to the other, often without enough time to go to your locker, there's less time for "trouble". If there's barely enough time for everyone to get through the lunch line, and very little time left to eat, there's less "trouble". Kids are easier to supervise and less likely to gang together (for any reason) when they're in classrooms where there are assigned seats and attendance sheets and they're kept busy.

I do believe some accommodations need to be made for teen moms. There were quite a few in my high school, and almost all of them either dropped out or were back in class within 2 weeks. Sometimes within DAYS of giving birth. I don't know if any of them breastfed. I highly doubt it.

 

[moonfirefaery]

Then, instead of giving teens very little time to go potty between classes for fear of them getting into 'trouble,' why not take better security measures? Hire more campus cops; install security cameras. Have teachers or chaperones watch the halls. Or better yet, instead, give everyone a 30 minute study hall at some point where they can sit and do their work, study, read--a time when they could get up and go to the bathroom to pee, pump, whatever, without missing class! It would take up about the same amount of time each day as adding 5-10 minutes between classes would, and the kids would be supervised. Besides, kids get more and more homework these days anyway so it'll be a good time for them to have a chance at getting teacher help on their homework without having to stay before/after school.

 

[JustJamie]

I think having little time between classes and for lunch doesn't really have anything to do with security, and has more to do with length of a day.

My senior year:

0 hour: 6:30 - 7:30 (optional)
1st hour: 7:45 - 8:45
2nd hour: 8:50 - 9:50
3rd hour: 9:55 - 10:55
4th hour: 11:00 - 12:20 (four 20-minute lunch periods)
5th hour: 12:25 - 1:25
6th hour: 1:30 - 2:30

Adding more time between classes simply wasn't an option, without reworking the bus schedules for the whole district, since the same buses were used to transport elementary, middle, and high school students, not to mention the "tech school" students who attended high school until 10:55 and then were bussed to a vocational school for the afternoon. Decreasing the number of lunch periods while increasing the length of the lunch periods also wasn't an option, as the school's cafeteria could not handle the sheer volume of students. As it was, if you couldn't get to the cafeteria in the first 3 minutes of the lunch period, you were not eating the school lunch.

The buses picked up the high schoolers who elected 0 hour, dropped them off, went back and picked up the high schoolers who did not elect 0 hour, dropped them off, went back and picked up the middle school kids, dropped them off, went back and picked up the elementary school kids, dropped them off, went back to the high school to pick up the tech students, dropped them off, took an hour for lunch, I believe, then picked up the high school kids from school, took them home, picked up the middle school kids, took them home, picked up the elementary school kids, and took them home.

Ultimately, the school district DID rework the schedule, and now the entire district is on block scheduling, with Day 1 being hours 1-3, and day 2 being hours 4-6. But it took years to figure out the logistics and implement them.

 

[liberal_chick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by moonfirefaery Then, instead of giving teens very little time to go potty between classes for fear of them getting into 'trouble,' why not take better security measures? Hire more campus cops; install security cameras. Have teachers or chaperones watch the halls. Or better yet, instead, give everyone a 30 minute study hall at some point where they can sit and do their work, study, read--a time when they could get up and go to the bathroom to pee, pump, whatever, without missing class! It would take up about the same amount of time each day as adding 5-10 minutes between classes would, and the kids would be supervised. Besides, kids get more and more homework these days anyway so it'll be a good time for them to have a chance at getting teacher help on their homework without having to stay before/after school.

Campus cops? Security cameras? Those things cost money. I don't even have enough text books for my history students this year. We do have security cameras, a campus security advisor and an on campus cop or two, but we just honestly can't afford more (even though our state has a huge surplus, but that is a different post altogether). And I can tell you why a 30 minute study hall won't work: that would take time away from teaching toward the test. We are in year 3 of school improvement and during professional development this week all I have heard is "you are all math teachers, you are all literacy teachers. Teach them to read. Teach them some math. I refuse to be the principal of a school in year 4 of improvement!" Do I think that end of course testing and teaching to that test are right or ok? Absolutely not. But until someone comes and scraps No Child Left Behind, my hands are tied. They want us to keep the kids in class and learning, so I doubt a study hall would go over well.

 

[HeatherHeather]

I agree with JustJamie, I think it's a time issue. If you add an additional 10 mins. b/w each peroid, you could be adding over an hour to the school day.

I see no reason why a teen mom shouldn't be able to pump and store her milk in the nurses office or an empty office room for 10 mins 2-3 times a day. I think if a teen mom wants to pump, then the school should absolutely bend over backwards to accommodate her. And if she's missing class, it should be taped for her or she should be provided with other ways of making up the work.

to the poster who pumped in class. I am shocked that the school let you do that, but good for them. I think if a girl is comfortable pumping in class, then she should absolutely be allowed to do it.

ETA: I do think there are already times in the school day that a student could be totally excused from without "missing" too much. Homeroom period, lunch, gym class, I'm sure there are a couple more. Also if you already have 5 mins. b/w classes and you missed the last 5 of one and the first 5 of the next, your not likely to miss a lot. If the school wants to support pumping, there are a lot of things they could be flexible about to make it work.

 

[moms3kids]

I had my ds at 16, it was march of my JR year of high school, i had teachers let me do all my work from home and turned it all in, if i had questions i could email them... i went in every other week and took tests in the office. i finished out my JR only droping one class art, no big deal. i then was still nurisng him when i went back my Senior year as he was only 5 months old he was able to wait till lunch to nursing then i was done i had taken enough classes that i only needed to take required classes my senior year and a work study program that alowed me to only go till lunch if i worked 15 hours a week some where so i got a job hostessing evenings when my dh (boy friend at the time) was home to keep ds. that was an 6-8 hour shift some nights ds would wait me out and nursed 3-5 times durring the night... i still managed to get up and get him to day care and myself to class on time every day dorve me nuts when so many others would come in late with NO exuces... any ways... though i would add my story....

 

[GooeyRN]

I am impressed by any teen mom who considers pumping! It would be nice if pumping was allowed during study halls, part of gym class, or electives. I never knew a teen mom who bf'd.

 

[moonfirefaery]

I know these things cost money and that schools are underfunded, and I think it's very sad. We definitely need reform, and I think we need some leaders that will get up and find a way. A lot of the suggestions I've made won't work for every school, but I think there is something EVERY school can do, even if it's just letting the kids leave class a few minutes to pump just like kids on meds get to do. As for the funding of security measurements and whatnot, this may not be the place to discuss it, but if it is related to whether or not moms can pump, I'll go ahead and say... I'm the kind of person who would be HAPPY to pay higher taxes to have better schools. I know a lot of people don't want to give Uncle Sam much money at all, they want to keep it, do things themselves. That's understandable. Times are hard. And especially if you homeschool why give money to schools your kids don't attend? Our finances are in disarray; we need all the money we can get. But, I feel we need to invest in our schools so our kids won't have these same problems when they grow up, and I'd be happy to be without a few more hundred dollars a year to ensure that all kids, not just my own, are getting everything they need...and that includes teen moms AND the kids they are raising. This is just my opinion. I know not everyone agrees with higher taxes for various reasons, and like I said, I understand that for sure. I just hope one day our schools will be better than they are now--and people will realize that punishing teen mothers isn't an effective way of preventing teen pregnancy. In fact, NOT helping them and giving them every kind of support possible really kind of condemns THEIR children to similar fates.

 

[NinaBruja]

Quote:

Originally Posted by minkajane I think a big reason more teen moms don't breastfeed IS because they're young. They want to be able to give someone the baby and a bottle and go do their thing. It is selfish, because that's a selfish age. We were ALL self-absorbed as teenagers. I probably would have BF at first if I had gotten pregnant in high school, but I most likely wouldn't have pumped, especially since I guarantee I would've been told to do it in the bathroom. So I likely would've weaned when I went back to school. ... I may be biased because the only teen mom I know at the moment dropped out of school when she got pregnant, circ'd her son (even though the dad is intact) because the doc told her to, never once put her son to breast, bottle-propped from the start, and tells her 9-month-old to "stop whining" when he cries. But I think if there were more opportunities for parenting and BFing education for these moms, they would be better and happier moms with happier and healthier babies.

i just want to point out that there are plenty of older women who are just as dumb and easily led by thier doctors and ignore thier children's needs...

i got pregnant the first time at 16 and yes i was extremely selfish but i would have still breastfed, im pretty sure i would even child led wean too...
i think its all in the education. teenagers can read and educate themselves just like an older mom can.
teenagers have stubbornness on thier side, if they were encouraged to use it to work through breastfeeding problems and inconveniences its would be awesome.