[annelizabeth]

I'm not sure how to deal with this ...My 18m DD likes to push a particular girl, same age we play with ALOT. My responds up to this point has to be to pick her up and some vrsion of thats not nice, we don't do that. When she did again in the span of 5min we left. The other mother has opposing beliefs in disapline and I know she is thinking time-out which are pointless.
I don't know what to do to make DD understand we are not to knock our friends over.
Any suggestions.

 

[luckymama]

:

 

[PancakeGoddess]

hover.

that's the best solution, imo, to pushers, hitters, biters and throwers. unless you don't mind leaving...

hugs, mama

 

[famousmockngbrd]

I think what you are doing is fine, it just takes time for it to sink in. She'll get it. She's still very young.

My DS had a lot of trouble for a while with being aggressive with other kids, hitting, yelling, etc. and he is doing much better now, although lately he has been getting into shoving, which he never did before.

I know this doesn't bode well for my "give it time" advice but trust me, it does get better.

Can I tell a kind of funny story? We were at the play area at the mall last week. There was this other kid there, about the same age as my DS. We had been there maybe 2 minutes, when I saw DS push this other kid. I went over to him, told him the toys there were for everyone to play with, and if he didn't want to share and play nicely with the other kids we would leave. About a minute later I saw him push the kid again. I went over to him and repeated the warning. Now, you would think the other kid would figure out that maybe DS is someone he might want to avoid, but he went over to DS and stood right in front of him, like he was tempting DS to push him again.

I mean, I know DS shouldn't push people no matter what, but come on, kid, take some responsibility for your own safety, don't taunt the tigers! :LOL So of course DS took him up on it and pushed him again, and I picked him up and we left.

Now, the funny part: DS was relating this incident to my mom later that afternoon, and the way he told the story was like this - "We went to the mall, and there was this orange kid there (-he was wearing an orange shirt

), and he heard this thump-thump-thump, and it was Cole, coming over to push him down." :LOL

So I guess he does possess some twisted sense of empathy...

 

[erikarey]

Hi...my next door neighbor comes over every day with her dd. My ds pushes her down all the time-the other mama and I are on the same page with how to handle it(redirect, "we don't push") but it can get pretty old. One day I asked my ds "do you like her?" he said "no."
This could be just a toddler thing but I got to thinking, she comes over every day, plays with his toys, drinks from his sippy, eats his snacks, the other mama and I talk so he's not getting the one on one he would get if they weren't there so I thought...ofcourse he pushes her. Since then we've cut it back and when they do get together it is bliss(most of the time)

 

[annelizabeth]

Thanks!
I agree re-direct. Basiclly I think my main issue is the other moms reaction- she feels her dd is a china-doll and mine in the bull. hehehhe

 

[IncaMama]

i have a 2 year old the size of your average 4 yo and he isn't exactly "gentle" with other kids. he doesn't try to go out of his way to push anybody (yet) but he's been known to plow some kids down if they're in his path. or playing with a train. LOL i do the same thing you do, although the other moms are not as worried as you seem to think the other mother is in your situation. i don't think it will help the other child any to coddle that feeling of "i'm a china doll" in her, if her mother wants to do that that's her perogative...but i think what you're doing is fine, imo...i agree that hovering is best so that you can prevent things (distract her if she's about to push, etc) but once it happens i think your solution is the best one.

 

[mamazee]

I lived this. My daughter was a big-time pusher and hitter, and she'd often pick a particular child she'd target for some period of time. I just followed her carefully, redirecting when necessary, and protected the other child. She outgrew it on her own sometime between 2 and 2-1/2.