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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Anyone else? I read this tip all the time and just read it here from Kate Carmichael. DS very often puts himself to sleep. Very happy. Gurgling. Then wakes up every 2-4 hours hysterical unless I nurse him.

And so I just nurse him. It helps if he sleeps at boob level
But really I get frustrated with this advice because it just doesn't seem to apply to us.

I can't be the only one?
 

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I've never ever put a baby down awake or drowsy. I've nursed/rocked/cuddled every one of mine for every nap and every bedtime, so I don't know... had no desire to!
 

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It didn't work for us either. I always tried to follow her cues, and nursing to sleep is what she wanted so I didn't mess with it. Once her sucking need went away, THEN she was ready to fall asleep without nursing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
DS stopped wanting to nurse to sleep though. Well - not 100% of the time. But he wanted to just kick around or cuddle from 3 mos up until relatively recently (maybe 7 mos) when he wanted to nurse again. But even then before he falls asleep he rolls away.

he nurses about 800 times a day though. Before sleep is the only break he takes.
 

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My baby is still rather young, almost 4 months, but she will fall asleep on her own. Sometimes I nurse her to sleep, but she often does not fall asleep while nursing. Even if she does, she usually spits out the nipple before drifting off.

So I DO put her down awake (after feeding and very sleepy). If she complains a few minutes later, I feed her side-lying, and she goes to sleep right away. Of course, half of her naps are in the sling.

She still wakes at night, 2-3 times. Granted, she is young and I assume rather hungry.
 

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It is not strange to nurse your baby every 2 to 4 hours at night, it is strange to expect babies to sleep through the night. Babies do not make melatonin which helps them to stay asleep and know the cycle of day and night so we need to help them with our oxytocin rich milk that puts them back to sleep. Try to come up with a routine for bettime and stick to it, soon your baby will sleep at longer intervals. Like my little lady who just starting sleeping longer and going down earlier.
 

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DD stopped nursing to sleep quite early -- before four months. She'd nurse at bedtime but then still be awake, so we had no choice but to put her down awake.

She still woke up and nursed frequently at night through the first year. She made it abundantly clear that she didn't wake up lonely or confused -- she woke up HUNGRY.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Thalia the Muse View Post
she didn't wake up lonely or confused -- she woke up HUNGRY.
I agree. I read recently that nighttime feeding isn't 'required' after 9 mos. I think he's expire! I hear him GULPING multiple times/night.
 

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Well, for some kids I'm sure it's not required. Mine is five now, and she's still a skinny chowhound; sometimes I can't believe how much she can eat! I think some metabolisms just can't make it through the night without eating until they really have a lot of stomach capacity -- more than a 10-month-old's, for sure. And the baby knows better than I do whether it's hungry, so I wouldn't like to guess about whether it's "really" hungry or not.
 

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I think it really depends on why the baby is night waking. If he's hungry, then it's not going to make a difference one way or another. But some babies wake up and get highly distressed because last thing they knew, their mom was holding/nursing them, and now they're in bed alone. Waaahh! If you co-sleep/co-nap, and are always in bed when your baby is, this wouldn't be a problem at all. And it's certainly not a problem for everyone.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kate Carmichael View Post
But some babies wake up and get highly distressed because last thing they knew, their mom was holding/nursing them, and now they're in bed alone. Waaahh!
3 kids, average two years each of nursing/rocking to sleep and not one of them had any sleep issues... it's so perfect!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kate Carmichael View Post
If you co-sleep/co-nap, and are always in bed when your baby is, this wouldn't be a problem at all. .
I don't co-nap. Up until recently he napped in our bed during the day and slept in our bed at night (until we went to join him). Just recently I transferred him to his crib for the start of the night and for naps (siderails on the bed are actually just things to vault over when you are 9 months old
). Anyway under both arrangements the result is the same. He VERY rarely sleeps longer than a 3 hour stretch and hasn't since 3.5 months. As a newborn he slept great!
 

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My doc told me that if she doesn't learn to "self-soothe" (not CIO, just put herself to sleep and back to sleep) now, she will never sleep good.

I'm quite suspicious of this advice. She doesn't require anything special, other than being held while she falls asleep. I can't imagine she'll require this when she's a teenager. She slept through the night until I went back to work and now she wakes about 1-2 times.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by gwynthfair View Post
My doc told me that if she doesn't learn to "self-soothe" now, she will never sleep good.

I'm quite suspicious of this advice. She doesn't require anything special, other than being held while she falls asleep. I can't imagine she'll require this when she's a teenager.
LOL... I always think that's amusing... believe me, my teenager doesn't want me near him while he's going to sleep!


The Western Culture is so unique in their thoughts that the baby has to be separate from the parents, trained, made independent. Looking at other countries where babies are worn virtually 24/7, etc. etc., I'll betcha those kids go to sleep just fine as toddlers/young children...

Oh, and I never co-napped.
 

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Rivka in particular always liked to go to sleep on her own (would roll off and move away very young, liked to be put down in the crib when tired, never CIO, just needs her space) and she has been my worst sleeper. When she wakes up she has to nurse in order to go back to sleep, but she doesn't nures TO sleep. She will nurse for a minute, push off my bed, and go back to her sister's room to sleep w/ daddy who is usually in there by then.
 

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You can't get so caught up in the dogma of any particular parenting philosophy that you forget to take the human factor into account.

Every baby is born with their own personality. The thing about advice is it works for those that it works for and doesn't work for those that it doesn't work for.

Attachment parenting is about doing what works for that particular child/baby. And being open to changing if/when it stops working. I used to nurse my older dd to sleep lying in bed. It took a few minutes and she was out. Somewhere along the line, it stopped working. But I felt it was the right way to do it because it *had* worked, and darnit, it fit with what I *thought* I should be doing. So for a few months after it started to fail, I kept at it, thinking it had to start working again. I would lay and nurse her for over an hour before she would fall asleep. Suddenly I realized that what she had been trying to tell me is that it wasn't working any more - but I was too caught up in the *idea* of it to listen and adapt to her evolving needs. One night daddy laid with her in bed instead while I nursed the baby to sleep in another room. She fell asleep quickly. It was like a lightbulb went on in my head.

Anyway, my point is, take what works for you and discard the rest, keeping your goals in focus. Don't worry about whether advice from someone else doesn't work for you . . . it just might work for the person reading it after you.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by HerthElde View Post
You can't get so caught up in the dogma of any particular parenting philosophy that you forget to take the human factor into account.

Every baby is born with their own personality. The thing about advice is it works for those that it works for and doesn't work for those that it doesn't work for.

Attachment parenting is about doing what works for that particular child/baby. And being open to changing if/when it stops working.

Anyway, my point is, take what works for you and discard the rest, keeping your goals in focus. Don't worry about whether advice from someone else doesn't work for you . . . it just might work for the person reading it after you.
Thank you for saying this!!!! This is my biggest complaint about this particular forum is that it can really undermine a mama's instinct about what is right for her, her child and her family as a whole. Everyone is going to find their own unique way and it's nice to be able to come to a forum where different ideas and methods are discussed without it being criticized as not AP.

I don't mean to ignite the flames, but I think that Kate is simply suggesting another way to get some sleep if your baby responds to it well. She has said repeatedly that you must do what fits your particular child but that this is something that worked for her and might for someone else.

Btw, my kiddos never went to sleep awake until about age 2. I would have kissed the ground if they did! But now my 4yo sleeps beautifully and I have faith that my baby will when he is ready.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by gwynthfair View Post
My doc told me that if she doesn't learn to "self-soothe" (not CIO, just put herself to sleep and back to sleep) now, she will never sleep good.
Total and complete hogwash.

-Angela
 
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