[Peppamint]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> ellymay, I don't know what to say but wanted to send hugs your way. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[luckylady]

oh Ellymay - I know what you are going through - sort of. Last year DH came in to our office and out of the blue told me he wanted a divorce. I was shocked and hurt adn felt like the carpet had been pulled out from under me...like you I had NO IDEA or CLUE he felt this way.<br><br>
we went to counseling and obviously got some help. I discovered about my DH is he holds things in until the point he explodes - like a volcano. I have since gotten him to open up AHEAD of time before things pile up and every little thingdrives him crazy. You know what it was about me that bothered him to most - that I leave my coffee cup onmy desk all day long- it seems small but for him it was finger nails on a chalk board. It's these little things that add up...<br><br>
It's good you have your own account - start saving and just take care of YOU. try to accept his apology but he HAS to talk about the issues.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama. this is not what you need right now. My heart aches for you.

 

[ellymay]

Cheryl - OMG that is the exact problem he has when something makes him mad he<br>
holds it all in til one thing just pushes him over the edge and he just explodes and the only thing he can think to do is to hurt me so he isn't so mad anymore. WE are working on things but it will be a long time before that comment doesn't hurt anymore.

 

[Mamabeakley]

Ellymay, it's rotten that you have to deal with this right now.<br><br>
What I have learned is that comments of actions like that do fade with time - but they *do* hurt when they happen, and I don't have to make them not hurt. It's okay to hurt when something bad is happening. It means you are human and have feelings and that is a GOOD thing, even when it doesn't FEEL good. Sometimes we have to get numb to survive in a particular moment or situation, but we don't have to stay numb permanently.<br><br>
Here is one of my favorite quotes, don't know who it's by:<br><br>
"No one can go back and make a new beginning. But anyone can start now and make a new ending."<br><br>
Hugs and blessing thoughts.

 

[newmainer]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
so sorry... i hope you get the support you need to pull through in the best way possible.

 

[FireWithin]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I am so sorry.<br>
PP had great ideas.

 

[tomtemama]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> ellymay <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
I am so sorry to hear about your situation.<br><br>
I know all too well what it is like to have someone who is upset for some reason, that you may not even have anything to do with, turn around and hurt you the worst they possibly could (my mom did this to me my whole life until 3 months ago when I finally put my foot down) just to make themselves feel better. This is at least what it sounds to me like your dh did. I hope you are feeling a little better every day and that soon the hurt will not be as severe.

 

[eorr]

You've gotten some great advice, ellymay. I just wanted to add my love and support - I'm so glad you came here and let us know. Take care of yourself and hold your little ones tight.

 

[mamacatsbaby]

OMG ellymay, I am so sorry that you are going through this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> I agree that the PPs have dispensed some great advice. We are definitely here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers mama. Please continue to take good care of youself and your little ones. You do not deserve this disrespect. I pray for a healthy resolution to this hurt. Many hugs and much, much love,<br><br>
mamacatsbaby

 

[Brinda]

How awful! I'm so sorry you're going through this. What rotten timing! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">

 

[zonapellucida]

((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

 

[radicalmama]

be well Ellymay...<br><br>
there are lots of mamas here pulling for you.<br><br>
take a deep breath.<br><br>
BIG HUGS!!!!!!