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I have been trying to use natural consequences with DS rather than minilectures and punishment but I am wondering what to do after the nat. consequence. Here's an example of something that just happened: DS left his playdoh out after using it. I made a statement "playdo gets dried out if left out" he responded "I know- it gets yucky and I can't play with it" me: "then I trust you know what to do with it" him: "yup- put it away". Well it didn't get put away and now (next day) is all dried out. I repeated "it gets dried out and yucky if not put away and now is trash". He understands the natural consequence of his not putting it away.<br><br>
So my question is: what do I do next time he wants to play with playdoh and there isn't any? I don't want to punish him by refusing to have any because of his mistake. I also don't want to rescue him by running out and buy or make more immediately because then he will learn that if he leaves it out, NC is that it gets dried out, but then Mommy goes and gets more.
 

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It seems like he is just not ready to do the things on his own that you would like.<br><br>
This means that when he plays with play-doh, you need to check when he has stopped and make sure that he has indeed put it away. "DS come and put the play-doh away right now. You know it will dry out otherwise."<br><br>
Right now he can simply not do these things totally on his own.
 

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I try to view things like this in the broader context of our family or even the community. An example might be that I leave out some food that will go bad. I had hoped to have it for lunch tomorrow but I got distracted. My dh would see it and put it away, he wouldn't try to teach me a lesson about leaving the food out. He happily helps me and I happily help him. We just apply this same idea to our kids. I'm not an adversary and I would much rather them learn to be kind and help one another than to learn let people 'suffer' consequences - no matter how 'logical'. I don't mean that to sound snotty, I really just look at the bigger picture with things like this. If it became something I had a problem with then I would talk to my kids about my feelings and come up with a plan and works for us both.
 

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I tend to do things as ambdkf does.<br>
But, I guess if it were an ongoing thing, and it drove me crazy, I can see myself doing NC's, if I ran out of other ideas.<br>
If it were me, in the play-doh example, I'd replace it the next time it was relatively convenient for me. Next time I went to the store, or the next time I had a few minutes to make more. I wouldn't make him wait long, but I wouldn't run out that minute either. kwim?<br>
And I'd not see it as "he'll do it again and expect me to keep buying more." I just don't view kids like that.
 

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I thinking teaching kindness is the real goal of parenting, not teaching that play dough dries out if you forget to put it away. If play dough was left out, I would say, "Oops, I'd better get a baggie for this play dough so it doesn't get dry and yucky", and then I'd get a baggie and put it away.<br><br>
At some point, my daughter began saying things like, "I'm done with play dough, but I'd better get a baggie for it so it doesn't dry out."<br><br>
She also began saying things like, "Mommy, you left the top off your face cream, but I put it on for you so it didn't dry out."<br><br>
Dar
 

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I do think that is a lesson that your child needs to learn. If he leaves the Play-doh out, it'll dry up and he won't get to play with it. But I also believe in little reminders to have the pick it up at the end if you notice it laying out on the table. If they don't listen to your reminder to pick up the Play-doh or else it's going to dry up, then they're out of luck the next time until you can replace it.
 
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