[PJsmomma]

I have a friend who parents NOTHING like I do

however--we have been a tremendous support to each other during a lot of junk. So I do value her and her son and mine were born on the same day in the same hospital--we were chatting during labor for awhile

Anyway, her little boy is really demanding--she even said so and asked if I thought he was.

We were over at her house to swim on Sat and the boys played and played and ate and ate--and they were about ready for bed.

My son and the little boy were throwing a toy up in the air to see how high it would go and my son took 2 turns (I guess) and her son fell apart (no parents were involved in counting turns or anything) and she asked my son to apologize for taking two turns and making him sad.

For some reason that really bothers me--I've thought about it all this time and I don't know why it bothers me?

I guess it's the asking my son to apologize when he didn't do anything wrong--he didn't hit, grab, etc

I don't know

so what do you all do if things like this happen?

 

[Marsupialmom]

I am going to side with her a little just a little though (maybe I just see what she was trying to do). I wouldn't ask him to apologize but more so remind him that sharing means take a turn then let the other person do it (especially since that was what he was doing). Learning how to share is a long slow process. You have to correct, guide, and praise your way through.

They were most likely tired so it made the situation hard and her child fall apart.

Do I think your child is bad or horrible. NO!! He is only four.

Did your child need a little guidance, yes but asked to apologize, NO!! I would have more likely gone and said DC when you didn't share like you were before it hurt OC's feeling when............. (It has been my experience that kids need more help with this the later in the day it gets. I have to guide my children 10, 7, 4 more at night on sharing than I do in the morning. At that age telling them to work it out on their own was useless. They didn't/don't have all the basic skills, nor the emotional maturity.)

Maybe the underlying cause is because you hate forced apologies (most likely as much as I do).

 

[Patchfire]

I would be upset because she interfered, period. If dd is playing with another kid, unless the conflict involves some kind of potential physical injury, I tend to side on the 'let them work it out on their own' school of thought. (That said, neither dd nor anyone she plays with knows much about insults, so I haven't figured out where I'd go in that situation). In other words, if they were playing by themselves and working out the turns themselves, then why did she feel the need to step in at all, beyond (perhaps) calming her son down? And maybe helping him figure out what *he* wanted to say to your son?

 

[white_feather]

If the Mom was always stepping in and correcting my son, without correcting her own, I think I'd start feeling irked. Otherwise, I wouldn't have too much of an issue with it. I don't know that it's good for kids to only recieve reprimands from their own parents. And while I may reprimand differently (and probably wouldn't have demanded an apology), I don't think what your friend said was so far out of line as to cause a rift in your relationship.

 

[PJsmomma]

No, I don't think it should cause a rift at all either

I just was trying to figure out why it bothered me so much--and maybe it's the correcting my son and not hers? I don't know. I also have corrected other people's children so I don't think that I can only exclusively correct my son.

I don't know

--and I do know that the tiredness was a factor.