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Discussion Starter #1
First let me say that I'm not comfortable with labels. I don't really care if dd is gifted, which is why this is my first post here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> I'm just trying to meet her needs. FTR, I was given the label of gifted and dh is as well. Dh might even be profoundly gifted, if I were to guess.<br><br>
But, I'm posting here because in lurking it looks like there are a lot precocious readers here. I was one... reading by the time I was 4, reading beyond my years. I think you guys might have some answers for me.<br><br>
Dd showed a keen interest in reading early on. She started recognizing her English letters at the age of 19 months and knew them at 2 years (recognized them and could put sounds to them). We read to her constantly and she couldn't get enough of books (she still can't). Around the age of 2, she had simple books memorized and we moved on to more detailed books. Around 3 we started sounding out words... and she COMPLETELY lost interest!! She would say, "Just read, just read." She didn't want to do anything with her letters on her own at that point. She has just turned 5, and her favorite activity for the past year or so is writing letters and numbers. But it's nonsense. And she STILL doesn't want to learn how to put the letters together to form words!<br><br>
She has simple chapter books memorized and "reads" to herself from them (she says she's not reading, but just remembering), but still mostly wants to be read to. I'm torn because I know she is smart enough to be reading (and may even be reading in secret) but loves so much to be read to, that she doesn't want to take that leap. She's also really bright in math and enjoys mathematical problems, learning to skip count, etc. She has no problem working with simple math on her own. But I can't get her interested in doing reading on her own. For a kid who has known her letters for more than half of her life, and who loves books so much, I don't know what to do for her.<br><br>
I love reading, and know that she will once she starts, but I think she's afraid I won't read *to* her anymore when she does. Is it really possible that this is what is holding her back?<br><br>
As an aside, that could be very important... we are bilingual at home. The second language does not use the latin alphabet, so she has had to learn 38 other "shapes" for the alphabet of Language 2. Additionally, we lived her early life in Germany, so she was trilingual just as she was getting very, very verbal (she said "mama" at 6 months and hasn't shut up since then). For the last 2 years she's been attending a one-way language immersion school (she speaks no English at school), where she's become fluent in yet a 4th language. Her German is very passive now, and she only uses it to watch a couple of favorite videos - she no longer speaks it. In her school they teach to read in the target language first, so at school she is not getting any reading exposure in English... only at home. And at home she is getting exposure in Language 1 (English) and Language 2 (Armenian) only (German being Language 3 and Spanish being language 4, the target language at school). Like most kids, she's a sponge with languages, so I don't think all the languages are holding her back developmentally. In fact, her teacher says that dd speaks more Spanish than even the native speakers in class and does the interpreting for the kids when they don't understand what the teacher is saying. Her English is quite advanced for her age. Her Armenian comes and goes as we can travel only once a year to visit family overseas.<br><br>
I hope this makes sense and someone has some advice for me. I try to reassure dd that we'll still read together, but I know she'd love reading on her own if she'd just start. And if my suspicions are correct and she *is* able to read (she slips sometimes... I can't think of anything off the top of my head... but it's obvious she's doing at least sight reading and sounding out some), I don't want her to feel she can't tell me about it. It really bothers me to feel that she is keeping reading a secret and I don't know how to approach her about it. A couple of times I've said, "Oh, is that what that says? How do you know that?" She'll just shrug and say, "I can't read it." (And I'm thinking, "yeah, right!") <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">TIA!
 

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I'm not sure I have any advice but the first section you wrote was remarkably similar to my son (who started reading at 5 1/2). He could read uppercase out of context at 19 months, lowercase and many sight words by 2, and could sound out cvc words at late 3 before abruptly losing interest. I couldn't believe how similar that section was. And like you daughter, I reassured him on many occasions that I would continue to read to him. I really think that his strong sense of perfectionism played a very big role in what seemed to be a two year gap in reading progression. Also, he's a classic visual-spatial reader which means that he kind of learns all at once, only after he feels he's connected all the dots. He's not one to put himself out there for a lot of trial and error. Does that part sound like your daughter at all? When I looked back even at developmental things like walking and talking, I realized that he held off until the very end of those with a sudden burst of mastery as well. I realized that it was a pattern of how he learns.<br><br>
I don't know anything at all about early language acquisition but I'm really impressed by your child learning 4 languages. I would assume, esp with the non-Latin alphabet in one, that it would play a role in when she learns to read English. There's a lot going on there (but the good kind of stuff, obviously).<br><br>
Again, I'm not sure I have any good advice but I had to respond because the first section was just like my son. In a recent thread (Alegna's, I think) someone recommended a book of literacy games that you might like. I did some things before ds had his sudden breakthrough, but I'm not sure what role they played. When I read, I would assign him a word to read throughout the book and when I would point to it, he'd read it. But really, if I suggested he try to sound something out, he would really dig his heels in so I just had to back off; his personality is like that.<br><br>
He's still not what would be considered a fluent reader because he still doesn't sit and read by himself. He can read when I sit with him and point to each word. He does pore over certain books (the anatomy book is his favorite right now) and we suspect that he's trying to read them but we don't say anything to him. When he started sounding cvc words out again at 5 1/2, he was figuring out longer words (e.g. around, friends, close by) within 3 weeks. We've noticed that he's a holistic reader (like dh and I were) so he just attacks words, reads them and then infers phonetic patterns. My attempts to introduce some phonetic rules just fell flat because it seems to interfere with how he's figuring it out.<br><br>
Do you remember how you learned to read? When dh and I thought about it, although we didn't read early (probably 5), neither of us ever remember sounding out words like most of the other kids in class did. We were spontaneous holistic readers (my mother confirms that I just started reading all of a sudden, shortly after starting K). I don't know if that learning method has a genetic component. But I think it can take longer to do because the learner amasses a ton of random information and then has to connect it all together to move forward (actually, very visual-spatial, I think).<br><br>
I know you don't care about the label but it's worth saying that there's a statistic (I'd have to dig for it on Hoagies) that says that roughly half of (later identified) gifted kids don't read when they start Kindergarten.<br><br>
Anyway, I hope I helped in some small way. I bet that when she starts reading, that it will be with a sudden leap. I don't know much about language acquisition in children, but it sounds logical that it would play a role.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Leftfield - dd is very much a perfectionist. I am lucky that she's a fairly even-tempered person, as I can see the frustration of not doing something right the very first time could set her off.<br><br>
For myself... I don't ever remember *not* reading. I do remember going to nursery school and coming home to tell my mother that the teacher couldn't teach me anything. That was around 3 or 4. I was reading then. I believe I taught myself how to read and it was as you're describing it. It feels like I just "knew" how to read one day. My husband was raised with many languages in his life (two native languages and school introduction to 2 more at a very young age) and he didn't talk until he was about 3 or 4. He was reading before he spoke. As I said in my last post, he could be what I see here as "profoundly" gifted. He doesn't remember *not* reading in both of his native languages.<br><br>
I have done no formal instruction with dd. What she knows, it's just from exposure. I don't want to push her at all... she pushed herself enough. Perhaps I should just forget about it and not worry about whether or not she's reading. I guess she'll tell me when she's ready.<br><br>
I think you might be right that until she's mastered reading, she doesn't want to say anything to me and that one day, she'll just surprise me. She's probably figuring it out in her own mind. I'd like to help her, but maybe she doesn't want help.<br><br>
Thanks for the post and encouragement. I'd like her to feel comfortable with reading in English before going to kindergarten next year, when they'll introduce reading in Spanish, but I guess it doesn't really matter all that much. I'm afraid this is all going to start over again next year with Spanish (and eventually with Armenian... she's showing no interest at all in learning to read in Armenian yet).
 

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It sounds like you have multiple concerns, including reading skill acquisition and what may be behind her hiding it from you.<br><br>
I think it's phenomenal that she's so accomplished in four languages - imagine how much is swirling around in that noggin! IIRC from various things I've read, bilingualism or multilingualism can slow down some skill acquisition in the short-term but have no or positive impact in the long-term. If I think about language acquisition as a straight line, I would expect that overall progress down a line would be slower if more than one line were being followed simultaneously.<br><br>
I can only share my experience with my two, who are both very internally motivated. If I trust them and don't cluck too much at them (I'm not suggesting you do this, I'm just in a 12 step program for this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ), they do stuff when they're ready with seeming instantaneous ease. DD was very precocious in language acquisition, but the move to independent reading went through a three and a half year "stall." Then she was ready and it happened (quite apart from anything I did) and she literally went from the equivalent of the Bob books to Little House on the Prairie books in a matter of a few months. She's been a speeding train since then. DS, on the other hand, is my little odd duck who's taken a very different route to reading. With both of my kids, they've really needed to control the process and are distinctly resistant to anything that might appear to be direct instruction.<br><br>
Maybe if you continue reading to her and not mention her reading she'll relax and slide into it. Here, if DS is reading something I'm not even allowed to 'mmm-hmm' - he's doing it and I need to mind my business!
 

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Thank you Joensally. I don't feel like I'm "clucking", but perhaps I'm putting some subliminal pressure on her. I will try to be more aware of that. Perhaps even my casual "Oh, how do you know it says that" is too much.<br><br>
The other thing I was thinking about is that she doesn't like to do anything alone. Even if it's coloring, she wants one of us to do it with her. Could it be that she doesn't like the "aloneness" of reading by herself? She's an only child. The only thing she really enjoys doing alone is playing with her dolls (which she can do on her own for hours, but then she feels a great need to be with us and engaged with us.)
 

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My son is similar (just over 4.5 yrs.). Very internally motivated. I also have to just back off and trust in him and his abilities. He picks things up very quickly and easily if we just let him do it naturally. Whenver we start to push it usually causes him to become resistant and it takes time for that resistance to go away. He taught himself to read before the age of 4 and still seems to prefer reading in private. We can get him to read us books from time to time but still prefers to be read to, rather than read to us, when we're reading together.<br><br>
I do find it amazing how fast kids pick up languages. Your daughter sounds like she's exceptional at it. My son gets a bit of french at school but its so minimal and superficial. 10 vocab words, a song and a game, all of which he has mastered in the first week (they get french 20 mins 3 days a week) and they just repeat and repeat and repeat it for at least a month! I wish I could expose him to a second language at home. We aren't bilingual. I think that's a great gift for you to be able to give your daughter.<br><br>
My advice about the reading would be just to take a step back. Don't make a big deal about it or she may put up more resistance. It's hard because you get so excited about them reading! But she will do it in time, probably is already but isn't ready to "out" herself yet. If she is a perfectionist (my son is) she may want to wait until she can do it well (in her mind) before she shows you. Try not to take it personally, like she's hiding something from you.<br><br>
One thing I did when I first noticed my son could read was I went back to some of the books we had read when he was younger and started reading them at bedtime instead of the more complex ones we had been reading. That way he was more likely to be able to follow along with the words as I was reading. I would pause occasionally and he would fill in the words. It was like he was looking at these books with new eyes because when he was younger, like 2, he was looking less at the words. Now he could read them and that peaked his interest. I find all kinds of sneaky ways to get him to read too. For example, when he gets a new reader or library book I give it to him to let him look at on the ride home. Then I'll ask him if it looks interesting or what its about and sometimes he'll read it to me. It makes sense to him because I'm driving, obviously I can't be looking at it so how else can I know what it says? It really helped too to start him out with stuff that I knew was below his level so he could have total success at first without seeing too many words that he stumbled on. Then I worked him up very gradually and any time he seemed frustrated or uninterested I temporarily moved back down a level or so.<br><br>
I hope some of that helps.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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I think it sounds like you're worried about the fact she's not reading yet and wish that she would. You're finding many reasons why she's not - i.e. aloneness, fear of not reading to her anymore, being deceptive (is she normally deceptive)? What if she's just not ready?<br><br>
Think about this - what if she didn't start reading until she was six? Or eight? Would you think she was less herself? Would she be a worse reader at ten? Definitely not, if she's as into books as you say - once she does start reading, she'll take off - but it might not be until age seven. It does not matter when kids start reading. Parents of toddlers do get awfully excited when their child can recognize the letter "c," but it doesn't bode a degree in English Lit. And perhaps they should be scared if it does! Coffee baristaship, here we come.<br><br>
Repeat this sentence to yourself: Early reading means nothing, intellectually. She'll read when she's ready. She might even ask you for help.<br><br>
At my daughter's school, there are many parents all wound up about their seven year olds not reading chapter books, last year it was because they weren't reading at all. There's always some new benchmark - just don't get caught up in it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Early reading means nothing, intellectually.</td>
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The proof of this being ???
 

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Discussion Starter #9
No... I'm actually worried that she *is* reading and hiding it from me for some reason. I'm afraid that she has some notions I'm not aware of and thinks that reading on her own (in front of me) will somehow change *our* reading relationship. I'm totally fine if she isn't reading yet, but I find it disturbing to "catch" her reading something and then her denying it. I'm afraid somehow that all the languages in her life have confused her about reading (certainly not about language itself, as she's doing fine with all of them) and her relationship with reading. I don't want her to be afraid of reading. I enjoy it so much and I know she does... she's obsessed with books... but I'm trying to gently find out if what she is saying is true (and she's not ready to read... and she just has everything memorized) or if she is reading, why won't she be open about it. I just find it curious that a kid that has known all the sounds and letters of one 26 letter alphabet and one 38 letter alphabet for a couple of years is acting this way. I came here for wisdom only. Not an evaluation of my daughter. I'm already quite aware of her abilities. This is why I don't like labels.
 

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I haven't read all the replies, so I may be repeating someone else's post.<br><br>
My dd seems to mull things over in her mind, and only does them when she's sure she will do them right. She's been like this her whole life. When she was 10 months old, she seemed to watch her cousin who had just learned to walk for about a week and then one day just decided she was going to get up and go, and did. It's been that way with pretty much everything. She also recently did this with riding a two wheeler. I've found it a complete waste of time to try to get her to do something before she decides she's ready, because if she hasn't made her mind up, she just won't do it, and if she's made up her mind to do it, it happens fast. She went from never riding without training wheels to riding her bike in about 15 minutes after she decided she "could".<br><br>
She's seven and a half, and has just started reading in the past month. She's also in french immersion school, and went from saying she "couldn't" read, to reading anything and everything in both french and english. It seemed like she just woke up one day and could read, but I imagine she had just been keeping it to herself until she got it all figured out in her head.(I also have reason to believe she was reading in secret <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) So maybe that's what your dd is doing.<br><br>
Mine also started writing her name and letters/numbers quite early (around two I think) so it was strange for me that she wasn't reading early.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>maliceinwonderland</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949009"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I haven't read all the replies, so I may be repeating someone else's post.<br><br>
My dd seems to mull things over in her mind, and only does them when she's sure she will do them right. She's been like this her whole life. When she was 10 months old, she seemed to watch her cousin who had just learned to walk for about a week and then one day just decided she was going to get up and go, and did. It's been that way with pretty much everything. She also recently did this with riding a two wheeler. I've found it a complete waste of time to try to get her to do something before she decides she's ready, because if she hasn't made her mind up, she just won't do it, and if she's made up her mind to do it, it happens fast. She went from never riding without training wheels to riding her bike in about 15 minutes after she decided she "could".<br><br>
She's seven and a half, and has just started reading in the past month. She's also in french immersion school, and went from saying she "couldn't" read, to reading anything and everything in both french and english. It seemed like she just woke up one day and could read, but I imagine she had just been keeping it to herself until she got it all figured out in her head.(I also have reason to believe she was reading in secret <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) So maybe that's what your dd is doing.<br><br>
Mine also started writing her name and letters/numbers quite early (around two I think) so it was strange for me that she wasn't reading early.</div>
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Thank you for your response. This (and most other responses) are what I am looking for.<br><br>
Dd did the exact same thing with walking and with using the potty. She *literally* told me one day she was done using diapers, I took them off of her and she hasn't had a single accident, day or night since then. She was right at 3 years old and everyone was thinking she was late "potty training". But she knew when she was ready. Friends ask my advice about potty learning and I always tell them that dd didn't have a "normal" experience with it.<br><br>
I guess I will wait until she is ready to tell me she's reading. I'm not going to ask her about it anymore.<br><br>
Thank you so much for your post. I guess hiding an ability is not all that rare (especially among children who are perfectionists).
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7948932"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I just find it curious that a kid that has known all the sounds and letters of one 26 letter alphabet and one 38 letter alphabet for a couple of years is acting this way. I came here for wisdom only. Not an evaluation of my daughter. I'm already quite aware of her abilities. This is why I don't like labels.</div>
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You might also read something about "phonemic awareness" - basically, once you learn the alphabet, in order to put those to use (via reading) you also need to understand how words are segmented, and how to break apart a word and put it back together again. It can be either an unconscious or conscious process. C-A-T makes cat. P-H together makes the sound /f/. Some kids learn to read first and the alphabet second. Some kids do whole-language first. It's different for each child, but just knowing the sounds is a good start. You could also always play games in the car, where you give her a "broken" word and then have her put it back together (i.e. "C-A-T makes...cat).<br><br>
Have you tried fridge magnets (the way our daughter learned to read)? We put a funny phrase on the fridge each morning, (FAT VAN, CAT MAN).<br><br>
Of course, if she's not interested, she's not interested.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>flyingspaghettimama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949201"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You might also read something about "phonemic awareness" - basically, once you learn the alphabet, in order to put those to use (via reading) you also need to understand how words are segmented, and how to break apart a word and put it back together again. It can be either an unconscious or conscious process. C-A-T makes cat. P-H together makes the sound /f/. Some kids learn to read first and the alphabet second. Some kids do whole-language first. It's different for each child, but just knowing the sounds is a good start. You could also always play games in the car, where you give her a "broken" word and then have her put it back together (i.e. "C-A-T makes...cat).<br><br>
Have you tried fridge magnets (the way our daughter learned to read)? We put a funny phrase on the fridge each morning, (FAT VAN, CAT MAN).<br><br>
Of course, if she's not interested, she's not interested.</div>
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My undergrad degree is in linguistics. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> My senior thesis was on Critical Period Theory. But thanks for the tutorial. I accept in the spirit it was given. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I don't know if you read my other posts. Dd, using bathtub letters and fridge magnets, knew all the letters of English and their sounds around the age of 2. It was when I started trying to put the phonemes together for her that she dug in her heels and moved on to other interests. She would get up and leave when I tried to start teaching her actual morphemes. Again... the situation is not about reading, but if she is, why is she not enjoying it and/or hiding it. Period. It's not about her level of interest.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>supervee</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7948880"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The proof of this being ???</div>
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Well, anecdotally - I'm a librarian, and if I could count on each finger the number of children I've met who started reading at seven or eight and were reading Harry Potter or Redwall six months later, then...I'd need a whole lot more tentacles.<br><br>
If we want to talk research, I'd point out this article:<a href="http://eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/Home.portal?_nfpb=true&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=%22Olson+Lynn+A.%22&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=au&_pageLabel=RecordDetails&objectId=0900000b808c44ea&accno=EJ750775&_nfls=false" target="_blank">Precocious Readers: Past, Present, and Future</a> from Journal for the Education of the Gifted, which states in the abstract:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Precocious readers represent a small portion of children who enter school each year. Researchers have investigated the environmental characteristics, acquisition process, psycholinguistic and neuropsychological characteristics, and academic skills of these children. <b>Despite the research findings in the area, researchers and clinicians are still unable to predict who these children will be, describe how precocious readers fit into our current theories of emergent literacy and reading development, and confidently state whether this knowledge could be generalized beyond the precocious reader to the typically reading child.</b> <b>Forty years of research in this area is reviewed</b>.</td>
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Or, everyone's favorite website, <a href="http://www.geniusdenied.com/articles/Record.aspx?NavID=13_19&rid=10556" target="_blank">genius denied</a>:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Taken together with other findings in the literature, the present results are consistent with a model of the development of gifted performances in childhood in which (a) precocious reading predicts good, but not necessarily excellent, reading and language arts performance in later years; (b) continuity may be heterotypic, with precocious readers later showing aptitude for learning in other domains based on closed symbol systems, such as mathematics; and (c) highly intelligent children who are not precocious readers may show intellectual achievements similar to those who do read early.</td>
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Basically, nice if you got it, but no big whoop if you don't.<br><br>
And my daughter started reading at three. I just don't find that it makes much of a difference, the older children get. The ones who love reading catch up, the ones who never did - don't.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949352"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Again... the situation is not about reading, but if she is, why is she not enjoying it and/or hiding it. Period. It's not about her level of interest.</div>
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Okey-dokey. Well, good luck.
 

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Yes! We do! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Thank you for the link, FSM. That might be exactly what I've been looking for.<br><br>
Anyway, I think the better way to say it, maybe more accurate given the research, is that late reading doesn't preclude giftedness. Early reading may or may not mean anything intellectually, but we don't know, especially about very early spontaneous reading (2 and 3 year olds). (But I hold out hope in that article!)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949352"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Dd, using bathtub letters and fridge magnets, knew all the letters of English and their sounds around the age of 2. <b>It was when I started trying to put the phonemes together for her that she dug in her heels and moved on to other interests</b>. She would get up and leave when I tried to start teaching her actual morphemes.</div>
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Things that make you go hmmm...sounds like she's determined to be in charge of this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.
 

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Coming in late but I wanted to comment on a couple of things:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7946121"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm torn because I know she is smart enough to be reading</div>
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First, I don't think there really is such a thing as "smart enough to be reading". There are kids with very high IQs who don't read early. It is a developmental process and whether or not she's reading at this age doesn't say a lot, if anything, about her intelligence. I will say the frustration you are feeling right now gets very much to why I'm not a big fan of early teaching of letter sounds, etc. because even if it seems low pressure on the surface and if the parents totally mean well, kids can pick up on parental expectations and feel pressured. If you think about it if you started talking about steps to tie shoes when she was two if she wasn't tying shoes by five she might be feeling pressure about that even if you never said "you are coordinated enough to tie your shoes".<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7946121"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It really bothers me to feel that she is keeping reading a secret and I don't know how to approach her about it. A couple of times I've said, "Oh, is that what that says? How do you know that?" She'll just shrug and say, "I can't read it." (And I'm thinking, "yeah, right!") <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">TIA!</div>
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I'm wondering if you could put into words what about it being a secret bothers you. There are different reasons why that could bug a parent and getting to the heart of that may shed some light on your feelings and her feelings about this.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>velochic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7949072"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thank you for your response. This (and most other responses) are what I am looking for.<br><br>
Dd did the exact same thing with walking and with using the potty. She *literally* told me one day she was done using diapers, I took them off of her and she hasn't had a single accident, day or night since then.</div>
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We may actually have the same child <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> My dd did that with using the potty too! I had taken her to the store and she had picked out a package of underwear, and I said I'd just put them up and she could let me know when she was ready to wear them. I wasn't in a rush, she was only two and a bit. A week later she decided she was going to wear the panties, and never looked back. She hasn't even wet the bed. It just boggles my mind sometimes. She also weaned herself from the breast this way at 15 months. I was told it was a nursing strike, but considering everything she's done since then in the same manner, I honestly think she just decided she was finished with it.<br><br>
Needless to say I'm terrified of the next one, with dd being so easy I'm sure I'm in for it this time!
 

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This thread has been good timing for me. DS, who will turn 6 in a couple of months, took off like wildfire last summer with reading. He, too, knew all of his capital and lower case letters out of context by 2. Lots of sight words by 3....then nothing. At 4 he was exposed to Zoophonics in preschool and spent a good year being fascinated by phonics. Then reading shortly after he turned 5 -- and lots of it. Wanted to sound out every single freaking word he came across. This past Jan. he wanted me to just read to him again and that's the way it's been mostly. He'll do a token book here and there. Given his history of going hard and then laying off, I'd imagine we have another 6 months of him doing very little with reading by himself and I would anticipate another spurt after that.<br><br>
I also think that ds really likes having me read to him because it's less work and he can enjoy the book more. Maybe it's the same for your dd.<br><br>
Question: Is this on and off again type learning called plateauing or asynchronous development?
 
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