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I have had family here helping me out since Lane arrived. He was born on Sunday and has been doing pretty well. He is very chill during the day. I feed him every 2 hours and then someone holds him until the next feeding. You know how it goes with folks wanting time with the new baby.<br><br>
Well, I have been trying to put him in a swing or bouncy seat a little here and there in preparation for when I am by myself and might not be able to hold him all of the time. He pitches a fit and will not settle down until someone picks him up. I feel like letting him cry it out is inappropriate for a newborn but am unsure about how to get him to be OK with not being held all of the time. We do wait until he is very calm before trying to put him in the seat/swing but he soon gets pissed.<br><br>
My other issue is night time. While he was in the hospital, dh and I took turns holding him at night to help with bonding. Now we are home and would like to be able to lay down and sleep without worrying about holding the baby. We have a co-sleeper that I put in the bed. We have tried to put him in it after feeding (while he is most content) and peace lasts about 10 minutes. I also disovered that he will not lay on his back. period. He ends up on his side, scooched over to one side of the sleeper. This scares the heck out of me since everyone is all about how they should only sleep on their back. How the heck do you pull that one off? Plus, he is not used to sleeping on his back since we have been doing skin to skin on his tummy.<br><br>
I am finding that I have a lot of anxiety and am very paranoid about him sleeping. We have a pack and play that we will be setting up next to the bed for him to sleep in since the co-sleeper keeps me on edge. I still don't know how on earth I will be able to put him down in it without him getting super pissed off to the point of no return. I want to try some nap times with it but am not sure if that will work either. Either way, I feel like I have to let him lay and cry for a while? Do I pick him up, get him back to sleep and put him back in? Plus, I am so scared of him not being on his back, not having loose blankets, etc. We are not good swaddlers so we have a halo that we have tried but that does not work. He likes to have his hands free and be able to kick.<br><br>
Night time is his fussiest time. I think that is when he wants to be alert. Of course, we want to sleep and he does not like that. I can only walk around with him so much before I get shaky from lack of sleep. He just cries and cries if you try to rock him or soothe him like we do during the day.<br><br>
I don't know what to do but I have a great deal of anxiety about SIDS and everything. I know this is first time mom stuff but I am genuinely frightened of doing something wrong.<br><br>
Is it safe for me to snooze in the recliner with him on my chest asleep? I have nodded off a couple of times like that and felt really bad.<br><br>
In a nutshell. HELP!?
 

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DDCC--<br>
My baby is almost 3 months old. It took awhile before I could put him into his bouncy or swing for more than a couple minutes. I can't remember when it got better, but certainly for the last 6 weeks or so, I can put him in the swing for half an hour at a time. So I think that's something that gets better with time. We also held him all the time in the beginning but now he likes to lie by himself on his back, kicking, looking around for some time everyday. He also does really like being in the bouncy and swing now. But again, not for the first month or so.<br>
Sleep-wise--I get pretty anxious about SIDS as well. But I always put him to sleep on his side. Side sleeping is only considered dangerous in that they can roll onto their stomach. As long as they stay on their side, itt's fine. It seems to me that very few babies actually can sleep on their backs. Also, my LO fell asleep on my chest after nursing during the night many many times, especially in the first month or so--so he did sleep stretches on his tummy while I was sleeping too. I guess I didn't worry about it since there no pillows or blankets to suffocate on.<br>
I also bought a mini-co-sleeper, but it now holds laundry--he sleeps in the bed next to me. Ideally I'd like to get him into the co-sleeper but his sleep is so fragile that I never want to take the chance of transferring him. And I'm sure this is really not reassuring but all his naps are either on my chest or while babywearing.<br>
Bottom line, I did everything the same as you are doing, and so far it's working out ok...I think!
 

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This is totally meant gently, with caring and empathy:<br><br>
Think about it from his point of view. He's never been alone, so being alone feels wrong. It's going to take a while for a newbie to adjust to being in the world. Lots and lots and lots of newbies can't deal w/being alone or being put down at first. This is not something one gets them used to now, this is where a parent adjusts their expectations.<br><br>
And to answer your question, as long as your chest is bare, I wouldn't worry about him falling asleep on your chest. My DD did that lots. She slept in my arms, literally, for the first 3-4 mos of her life. I am not kidding. She just didn't want anything else. And to soothe her, she didn't want rocking or anything except (seriously) to be draped over my left--not right--shoulder while I walked. Not sitting, walking.<br><br>
Good luck, mama. Be gentle with yourself. You will be okay. He is the way he is, and you will figure all this out.
 

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A safe setup in a bed with him facing your chest on his side is much safer than a recliner. In a recliner when you fall asleep he could slide down and get caught. In a flat adult bed if you lay on your sides facing each other you will be VERY aware of his presence and you will not roll over on him. We slept this way or even forehead to forehead (which he LOVED) in the beginning.<br><br>
I would also get the Miracle Blanket ASAP. The best swaddler IMO. Really helped with naps for us-- I'd nurse him laying side by side in the swaddler, then slip away.
 

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I actually swaddle Lilah and lay her on her side at night, she gets comfy and ends up on her back, and a time or 2 during the day i've even put her on her tummy to nap (while I'm watching). Unfortunately or fortunately however you'd like to look at it, Lilah got used to sleeping on her own in the isolete in the NICU and has been very good at it. Bodie on the other hand had to be nursed side lying every night for bed. You can put a rail on the outside or put your mat on the floor and that way he's getting your skin and you can sleep as well. Good luck mama, it'll get easier.
 

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Reuben falls asleep nursing or in my arms after each feeding. Once he's definitely asleep I transfer him to his crib or bassinette. If he makes any fuss I pick him back up. I want him to learn to like his own bed but I don't think letting him cry in there will help that cause. He's actually pretty good about staying asleep but not really capable of falling asleep alone at this young age.<br><br>
I don't like sleeping in a chair with him on my chest because a few times I drifted off and felt like my arms sort of jerked when I became aware again. I'm scared I may drop or otherwise hurt him. I don't find side nusing as easy as cradle hold but I'm working on it and for his last nighttime feed before morning I nurse him side lying and we sleep face to face. I've never found myself encroaching on his space in the night. My only complaint is that I wake up cold too often. I don't feel like I can wear a lot of clothes due to nursing yet I can't bundle up with blankets for fear of them covering him. I'm not sure what the solution is for that.<br><br>
Oh, and we nap Reuben on his belly when we are nearby to watch him. He sleeps so peacefully that way. I asked my midwife about it and she obviously states the back sleeping only rule but also says as long as someone is watching it's OK to do some tummy sleeping including him sleeping on our chest.
 

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Both of my boys were/are side sleepers. As a PP mentioned, the risk is that they will roll onto their tummies. I sleep facing my baby and my hand prevents him from rolling onto his belly.<br><br>
I think the SIDS fear is worse the first time. I was a wreck with DS1. Everything is harder with the first b/c everything is new. The second time is soooo much better. Hang in there - it goes so quickly and all your troubles will soon be distant memories.
 

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Hi, mama!<br><br>
Super tired today so this is all put together sporadically--sorry about the disjointed response but I couldn't read without responding.<br><br>
I was a serious nervous nelly with my first baby about sleeping...actually I still am with Wyatt, too. I learned though that neither of my babies will sleep on their backs; each has been a side sleeper.<br><br>
Have you read or been directed to Dr. Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block"? It's an amazing reference for calming and soothing our little ones. He's like a baby whisperer. There's a DVD too if you don't have time to read right now <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Anyway, his big premise of why his stuff works is that he acts on the premise that babies need a fourth trimester. They are born too early for their developmental stage. It makes total sense when you think about the fact that some major systems in their body are not done "growing" until the third month of life. It's much more involved than this and he does a really great job of using this to explain a baby's needs.<br><br>
What his steps do is mimic the womb essentially, an environment the baby thrived in and still craves. When you put those together it's like baby nirvana for the newborn <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> DD was extremely high-needs for the first several months of her life and Karp's method essentially kept me from crying every day for hours while pulling my hair out.<br><br>
About crying: I don't believe that a newborn baby should be left to cry. They are far too young right now to learn how to self-soothe and they are definitely not ready for sleep training. It can be very draining but a newborn cries out of necessity--they NEED something.<br><br>
Still, it can be draining. I had to hand Wyatt over to DH today as I was just drained and overwhelmed after about 24 hours of a newborn that needed constant soothing and attention.<br><br>
Do you have a sling or wrap? They prove to be vital at this stage.<br><br>
Big hugs, mama!
 
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