[StephandOwen]

Owen is going to start preschool at a SN school after labor day. He will be just shy of 3 years. I have the option of sending him anywhere from 2-5 days a week. Each day is 2 1/2 hours (if I remember correctly). I plan on doing 2 days a week. Owen has never been in the care of a "stranger" (only me, his dad, his grandpa, and his aunt for a few minutes) so this is going to be a big change for him (one I'm not sure how well he'll cope with).

So my question is- would you do 2 days together or put an off day between them? I'm leaning towards an off day between the two school days but the school is leaning in the other direction, saying if he's there 2 days in a row he'll get in the routine faster/easier. Any experience or suggestions on how to make the transition easier?

Next week he's going to go two days a week with me there. The week after that he's going to go 2 days a week and I can stay or I can leave and see how he does. Starting right after Labor day he'll be going alone.

 

[momfirst]

How old is Owen? I've worked with children for 24 years. In my experience, it would be easier for the child to come 2 days in a row, they settle in faster, have a better time with the routine, etc. The children seem to get more out of class when they come 2 days in a row. However, many, many children attend preschool skipping days inbetween and do great. My own dd went to a SN preschool and went M-Th. She did great and made wonderful advances. Truth is, it will work for you either way, so do what you are comfortable doing.

 

[williamsmommy2002]

I would go with two days in a row. My 3.5 year old started in June and it took him a few days to get in the routine. He also was never in the care of strangers but his teacher is wonderful and he did ok.

 

[rbear4]

My only concern with the 2 days in a row is the 5 days inbetween that he would be off. It seems that either way it would be hard for him to get into the routine with the long breaks inbetween.

I think the best idea for getting him into the routine will be what you are doing about going with him for the first week or 3. I think then you will have a better idea of how he will be adapting.

 

[Fay]

I'm a believer in phasing in school as gradually as possible, especially if separation is an issue. At DS's current preschool, we started with just 20-30 minutes on Tues/Thurs the first week, then added a few minutes every week, added Wednesdays after a month, added Mondays a few weeks later, then finally added every other Friday when he was clearly comfortable with the transition and ready to to do the full school day (3.5 hours). The first month on the full schedule was exhausting for DS, he would come home and snuggle me for an hour. The most important thing, which my DS's teachers agreed with, was to follow his cues and only increase the schedule when he was giving signs that he wanted to be in school for a longer period. If Owen is the type who has a perfect visual memory, then it's less important for him to have 2 days in a row to learn the routine, but if memory and routines are issues for him, then 2 consecutive days may work better. Follow your instincts, you know him best and you're the best mama for him!

 

[krissi]

The best thing I did for DD starting SN preschool was the phasing in thing also. I hung around in the classroom for about three weeks, actually. I tried to be a fly on the wall. I sat in the corner and watched them so that DD would know I was there but I tried to hang back and let the teacher and staff interact with her, direct her toward activities, etc. I was sure to step in when I felt that she needed my support but I tried not to. I think this kind of helped them to get to know HER as much as for her to get to know them because I was able to guide them toward ways to soothe her in specific situations that they might not have been able to figure out quickly by trial and error. When she started getting through entire days without meltdowns, appeared to be having fun, and wasn't clinging onto me, I started leaving. Just telling her, "see you later," and quickly heading out the door. I waited outside so I could hear when she'd stop crying so I could leave without having to worry about her just being upset and sobbing the whole time I was gone.

These days I can drop her off pretty easily even though she'll still fuss on occasion; it never lasts longer than 10 seconds after I close the door. I have found that it still helps to allow her to bring a transitional item from home and luckily the staff are understanding about it. They watch for her to abandon it, which usually happens pretty quickly, then they snatch it up and stuff it into her bag so that it'll make its way home with her. It also helped that I provided them with a CD with her favorite music on it; then they played it on the CD player while I was dropping her off and even today use it as a reinforcer for her. (The specific CD is quite powerful in helping DD to regulate herself and is one that I use extensively at home also.)

Oh well...just some thoughts in case they're helpful. I don't have any real opinion about the two days in a row. It probably differs by the child and I agree that you should go with your instincts since you know him best.

 

[StephandOwen]

I would really love to do the slow transition with him, but I can't. I have to work (right now I'm on a very flexible schedule but at the end of this month I go back full time). This week he'll go 2 days a week and I'll go with him (each day is only 2 hours). Next week he'll go 2 days again (2 hours each day) and I'll go with him but they encourage you to leave the room (and hang around the building in case they need you). Then he doesn't go back until after Labor day (2 days a week, 2 1/2 hour days), when he needs to be going by himself (I'll be back to work by then). I really have no idea how he's going to react to me leaving. He's going through a bit of a "ma" stage where he won't let me out of his sight. I was hoping he'd be getting over that by now, but it doesn't appear that way. Hopefully he'll be having so much fun he won't even know I'm missing.

Oh, Owen is 2 years 10 months. He'll be 2 years 11 months when he starts going to school alone.

 

[AllyRae]

Hmmm...I have no good advice because as you know, Brandon hated SN preschool and I had to stay with him every single time until school let out for the summer last week. But, he's very anxious around other kids and doesn't like them because they're noisy, so he was scared.

We did every other day, which was good because if he had a bad day, he had a day in between to recover. Owen has left you before though, and he seemed to do OK I think. The one and only time we've left Brandon was when I was in the hospital with his brother, so he is stlil a bit traumatized by it. Just keep good communication with the teacher and if he's not adjusting well, maybe pull him out for a couple months until he's a little older...