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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi.. I haven't posted in awhile, but reading through the comments on how transfers to the hospital were handled, one of the ladies asked why even tell the hospital you were attempting homebirth. Which leads me to this...

I really, really, REALLY want a UC next time around. My dh isn't quite so gung-ho. My first two were hospital births, both went well.. the second went better, I have, so far, quick and relatively easy labors and virtually no pushing required. They just shoot out! But everytime I watch the video of my ds (#2) at the hospital, everything I allowed them to do to him in my postpartum euphoria makes me angry. It was so invasive! It was so wrong! And I ALLOWED it, partially because I didn't want to hurt their feelings I guess. So I just let them hurt my newborn!
: Happily, he was a world champion nurser and is gleefully intact. Nonetheless, I don't want to go back.

So I proposed to my husband that I would go to either our family dr. (brilliant woman, it's almost hard to believe she's in the medical profession) or a CNM that was highly recommended to me, do most of the standard prenatal care stuff, and then call said care-taker with little white "OOOPSY-DAISY... the little darling just came so fast, but we're all fine, so I think I'll just stay home and bring the baby in tomorrow for you to look at, okay?" lie.

Also, my dr knows I'm sort of anti-medical-establishment, and she respects the reasons I feel the way I feel and do the things I do, I even consider her a friend, BUT I know she has certain laws, ethical things.. whatever that she has to abide by. But I've considered just telling her straight out... "I'll do this, this and this prenatally, but this baby is NOT going to be born in a hospital, just FYI" and seeing her reaction.

So... any thoughts? Feedback? Suggestions to get my dh on board? We're just starting to ttc, and I feel more passionately than ever that this next baby, God willing, will be born at home, most likely in water, and no one around but dh, dd, ds. Just as it should be!!

TIA for anything any of you have to share,
lizzie
 

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Lizzie,

This is my 4th baby but first planned UC and the CNM I'm seeing for prenatal was very ok with me not getting in a car in labor. My second was born in our car so I just told her I will not get into a car in labor. She said please don't...lol. DH was a little hesitant at first but prefers I do it myself then have to clean up another car. He also knows I'll do what I want anyway. And after catching one and seeing how little a midwife does with the 3rd he knows birth is no big deal. Good luck!

Stacey
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks Stacey.

That's one thing I keep trying to emphasize to him... neither my dr nor my m/w was able to be there for either birth, in fact it was just him and the nurse for our son.

He just gets bogged down in the "what ifs". I have told him I'd like to see him try and get me in the car during transition!

lizzie
 

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Lizzie,

From what I've read and heard it seems that things do not go quickly if there is a problem. So if things are going slow for you then you would have time to get to a hospital if needed. I also think that I would know. If you are having a UC you are generally more tuned in to your body and baby and you would just know if something was wrong. You'd feel it. There is always 911 to call. And I know if need be my dh could get me to a hospital fast, I bet yours could too. I bought and read Laura Shanley's book and read dh positive excerpts from it. That helped him a lot.

Stacey
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I'll definitely look into that book. He supports me in theory, he's just a little freaked out by the actual practice. He was a cop, so he's actually had some cursory baby-catching lessons, (I think the lotus birth thing kind of weirds him out a little) and oh yes, he can drive! I think that might be part of his problem.. he'll lose his excuse to drive like a bat out of hell! Not that we've ever had to really.

But I agree that I will know if something is wrong. Everything has always gone just like clockwork for me, and I come from a long line of 'squat-in-the-field' type women (and hips!). Either way, we are literally about 25 yards from a fire station, and maybe a mile from an ambulance station, so help is literally just around the corner if we felt like we didn't have time to get to the hospital on our own.

Thanks for the book recommendation!

Lizzie
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by lizzie
But I've considered just telling her straight out... "I'll do this, this and this prenatally, but this baby is NOT going to be born in a hospital, just FYI" and seeing her reaction.
Well, it's always possible that she'll have to "fire" you if you tell her this. Malpractice insurance and/or clinic policies may forbid a provider from giving any prenatal care to someone planning a homebirth. Just something to consider.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Jeni, that's definitely something to keep in mind! I'd really rather not have to find another doctor...

Of course, if I didn't have one, it might shut down my dh's objections!

lizzie
 
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