Mothering Forum banner

Question re: little girls and wiping themselves

871 Views 14 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  brooklyngirl
My DD ( who will be 4 in Oct) doesn't wipe herself nor wash her hands after going to the bathroom ( peeing, I still have to wipe her after a BM) and throughout the day, I will notice an odor.
I am constantly telling her Bailee please remeber to wipe,flush and wash whenever I see her go into the bathroom and before I know it shes off the toilet yanking her panties up and back off doing her thing....
She is very independent and she asks me to not follow her to the bathroom and I say, "Honey I follow you because I need you to remember to wipe and wash your hands"...This has been going on for a VERY long time and I don't want her to be a stinky girl.
FWIW, I bathe her daily and as long as her panties are clean there is no odor, so I *know* its from not wiping.....

Do any of you have any suggestions on what I can do to help remind her, becasue honestly I don't know everytime she goes, therefor I cannot remind her everytime. I thought of making a sign (since she can't read of soap and water and of toilet paper and tell her that it is there to remind her to do it.... What do you think?
See less See more
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
could you read some potty books maybe or watch some videos where they talk about going potty, wiping and handwashing to promote discussion?

i don't know how naturally oriented you are, but i know they make toddler wipes in a special box that could sit on the countertop for her to use after she goes to the bathroom. We're going to get them for our almost 4yo cuz i'm trying to get her to wipe after bm's now.

for handwashing, honestly we've gone to 'magic soap' for the most part. Purell.
They get excited about it and ask for it. constantly actually.

Now that zoey has her own stepstool and can get up to wash hands she does more often, but still prefers to get herself some magic soap. if she can't reach i hear yelling... "magic soap mama, i need magic soap!" lol

I'm going to get her a special hand towel too to see if that might spark her interest in washing and drying her hands.

good luck. hope some of this helps
I still wipe everything that comes out of my 3 year old, 'cause she says "I don't want to touch that yucky stuff!"

But my thought was, when you smell an off odor, take her to the bathroom and give her a quick scrub and change her panties. Maybe she will decide it is more convenient to give herself a quick wipe than have mom wash her up throughout the day?

I like the idea of the sign. Maybe it could be a little bit interactive, like a sign that hangs and can be turned both ways (like an open/closed sign at a store). One side could remind to wipe and wash hands, and the other side could somehow celebrate successful wiping/hand washing. Then she could turn the sign each time she completes the task (and you could turn it back around when you go into the bathroom and notice it--and it will be ready for next time!)
See less See more
If she has that strong of urine odor could there be an underlying cause? Could there be something wrong with her? Or could you have psychologically talked yourself into smelling this? Being supper sensitive because you are grossed out or worried about her non-wiping behavior?

Does she understand why she needs to learn to wipe? My three year old understands we wipe our vulvas so it doesn't get ouches.

I also think a sign(s) were she can easily see it would not hurt, picture signs.
Perhaps for the sign, you could draw (or if you're like me find and cut out) pictures to show hands being washed, then dried... with numbers
1: (picture of toilet, or person on toilet etc)
2: (picture of toilet paper)
3: (picture of hands being washed)
4: (picture of hands being dried, or a towel)

my son is the same, he'll go pee and not wash his hands, I have to remind him constantly. I still help when he poops, and before I even say anything he askes everytime (insert whiny voice) "do I have to wash my hands?" then he'll come back with "I didn't touch anything" etc....

Good Luck
The sign is a great idea! Here's my addition to that idea for something to motivate her to do what the sign says.

Leave some space on the sign and attach a sheet of stickers to it. Tell her that after she wipes and washes, she can give herself two stickers (one for each task). Several times during the day, the two of you can admire the number of stickers she has earned. Letting her pick out the stickers at the store is a good idea, too.

I've used this method for reinforcing a desired behavior in my DD (I forget what the behavior was, actually!!!) and somehow allowing her to give herself the stickers worked better than giving them to her myself. It made her feel grown up, I suppose.

Good luck!
I bought soap with a foaming pump container. I swear overnight ds was all about washing his hands. A waste of soap but he's clean!

As for wiping, I have no idea, but you've gotten some great suggestions!

Chelly2003, my ds does the same thing. I've caught him using his shirt to lift the lid so he doesn't touch it, then he doesn't think he needs to wash his hands
See less See more
No new ideas, but I wanted to subscribe. I'm having the same problem with my ds. He's starting kindergarten in September and I want him to bone up on the hygiene thing before he starts. I can just imagine him coming home every day with skid marks on his underwear
:puke !! Keep the good ideas coming...
See less See more
Does she have trouble with the toilet paper? Every time dd touches the roll, it ends up all over the floor. I always leave a couple of pieces folded nicely so she can just grab them & wipe. The next time I go in I just replace them as necessary.

She is also just starting to get in the habit of washing her hands every time. We also have a Pampered Chef suds pump, which does help, but I also don't make such a huge issue of that at home
. I sometimes wonder if I'm too obsessed with washing my hands, so I just try to remind her & help if I'm not busy with the baby or something. She knows she ALWAYS washes her hands when we're out in public or at someone else's house.
See less See more
When my dd was 4 she had a problem wiping. She did it, but just "dabbed" it. No actual wiping occured. Well, sure enough she got very red and sore one day. So, I had to put desitin on her. She did not like the idea of being creamed like her baby sister, so she made a big effort after that to learn how to wipe properly.
I'd let her pick out her own soap, wipes container, and a stool, under the condition that you will be accomanying her for several days to make sure she's using them, and then stick to it. I'm a stickler for washing hands after using the potty though...

My two year old is potty training and she has the opposite problem. Picture a trail of t.p. and washing her hands f o r e v e r.... and she too doesn't want me to come in but I do anway.... kids...
See less See more
We're dealing with this too with dd. She'e been potty trained for 2 full years, and she used to wipe herself well - she wiped herself much better at 2 then she does at almost 4! Now she runs into the bathroom, turbo pees/poops (I swear she can poop in about 7.5 seconds!), takes the tp off the roll and puts it directly in the toilet, never even touching herself with it. It's pretty funny, but it's so frustrating because she will get rashy sometimes too. I'm working on getting her to slow down and take her time, remembering to actually touch herself with the tp and then to wash her hands. She's getting a bit better, but I know she's going to be needing reminders for a long time to come.

T Tara - we have the same anniversary (ours is 6.11.97) and I also have a McKenna!
See less See more
I think the person hand towel and special soap of some kind are great ideas

I also think that I would shadow her a lot - regardless of her independent desires - explaining that if she learns to wipe and follows through with it properly - then you will back off.

The last thing she needs is a rash, or infection!
grrrrrrrrrrrr, I know this subject inside and out! My little dd is the queen of no wiping. Eventually found out that the toilet paper felt scratch and irritated her. So (even though I am usually against this kind of thing) we got the toddler wipes and SHE LOVES them. We have a box in both bathrooms. Use to carry a sandwich bag of them with us until she decided that when we are out she can use TP.

We also have a pampered chef suds pump. It is great. It has dr. bronner's baby soap, a couple of drops of lavender and a couple of tea tree oil in it. We also use that in the bath.

odor gone, rashes gone, complaining gone. peace!

She did get a bladder infection which pushed her into listening to us more about it.

My 3 year old will occasionally forgets to wipe or hand washing. I notice an odor too and that is how I usually find out if there has been a problem.
I've had some help from her brother who will yell, "ILLLLL she didn't wash her hands."

What helped us (the problem was worse) was we found a book in the library that explained how germs enter your body. This made a big impression on her and she has been doing really well at washing her hands (she's not drying them
: but we can work on that.) It also explained that germs can make you ill and she had just got over a cold and she didn't like being sick at all!!

She also doesn't like it when I sniff around her to see if she is stinky.
See less See more
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.