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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dh's dad, brother and stepmom were planning on coming to visit this weekend. We were under the impression that they'd be staying in a hotel unless the stepmom decided not to come in which we'd squeeze his dad and brother in our living room. We live in a small 2 br condo and the 2nd bedroom is for the baby due in April. DH just got an email that said to expect the three of them this weekend to stay at our place. I'm having anxiety just thinking about all of us in the condo together. They'd all have to sleep in our living room on our furniture and keep their stuff in there and we'd all share one bathroom. I enjoy having my privacy these days and just feel like we don't have the room to accomodate...i feel as though we'd ALL be uncomfortable. Is it rude for us to tell them we just don't have the room to house three people and suggest a few local hotels?
 

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I think the only time we suggested the in-laws stay at a hotel was after the baby had arrived and we even offered to pay for the hotel.<br>
I am guessing they assume they can sleep in the baby's room since there is no baby?<br>
Either way I would discuss it with DH. What does he say?<br>
If I told my family it was inconvenient for them to come at this time they would be cool about it and understand. If we said the same thing to FIL then he would never talk to us again. Families are all different. It probably depends on what they are like?<br>
Why can't they sleep in the baby's room? At least you wouldn't have to step over them on your way to the bathroom at night... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I guess I should have mentioned that the baby's room has no bed or couch in it...just a crib and a dresser! I didn't mean it was exclusively for baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
The living room has two couches. So one of them would end up on sleeping on the living room floor. I know it sounds selfish but the thing is, I've grown accustomed to waking up 8 million times a night to pee and not even closing the door and letting my belly hang out of my pj's at night and doing other embarrassing pregnancy things...I don't know if I can handle being on my best behavior in my home! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I like my creature comforts too (especially now), so I feel for ya...<br><br>
Having said that, I think you're going to need to be a little bit crafty to get what you want out of this situation.<br><br>
First of all, if you haven't already you ought to talk to your husband and ask him what he's already told your parents. See if he's mentioned that there is only one bed, and that it's a couch. If not, then have a little talk about where he would like to put them. This might be one of those situations where he thinks you'll figure that out, or he's already got it figured out and has forgotten to mention it to you. If he hasn't thought about it at all, that's where being crafty comes in...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mischievous.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="mischief"><br><br>
Have you ever heard the term "give them the cold shoulder"? Well, back in the day that was literally what you did when you had a guest outstay their welcome. You would serve them a cold beef shoulder. Basically, you make their stay a bit uncomfortable without ever having to be impolite. In your case I might let your guests know that you would be going out to purchase an airbed for them to sleep on and ask if they wouldn't mind bringing their own blankets and sheets (if they're driving). This way you are letting them know that accomodations are bare--but you're doing all you can to help make them "comfortable" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">.<br><br>
The prospect of sleeping on an airbag alone can be enough to make someone consider a hotel. But whatever you guys decide to do, I heartily recommend making sure you and your hubby are on the same page with this. The last thing you need is to be fighting with your husband AND have the in-laws cramping your style...<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Rather than an Airbed/mattress, ask them if they have sleeping bags or if you need to go either barrow or purchase one for each of them while they were here.<br><br>
I would also ask them weather or not they plan on bringing a lot of clothes, and if so, suggest that they only bring 2 changes of clothes and a pair of PJ's and do laundry at the laundry mat (if you don't have a washer/dryer that is) because there will be no place to store their clothes/lugage.<br><br>
I would just explain to them that staying in your home right now is not convenient for anyone. That you have already turned the spare bedroom into a nursery and that there is no place for anyone to sleep in there, except on the hard floor. Other than that there is a couch in the living room but it will have to be picked up every day so that people have a place to sit.<br><br>
They may just change their mind with regards to staying there if they realize they will have to sleep on the floor and there is no bed for them.
 

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I'm no stranger to unwelcome guests, my partner's friends stayed with us for FOUR MONTHS last spring, no matter how much "cold beef shoulder" I gave them, they didn't leave, and he and I fought about it constantly because he refused to tell them they had to go. Eventually he did but...<br><br>
however, in this case I think I might have to say <i>it's only a weekend</i>... my thought would just be avoiding the grief of potentially fighting with your husband or potentially offending his (your) family for the sake of a couple days. If it were longer (even a <i>long</i> weekend, or a week, or more), I would TOTALLY recommend that you talk to them BEFORE they get there, in case they never leave! (See above!) But ... ehhh.. I don't know this is a toughie.<br><br>
ETA: to build on what previous posters have said, even if you don't <i>warn</i> them that accommodations are bare (i.e. a couch) perhaps once they get there and see, they'll change their minds.
 

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It may be just me, but I don't like people staying at my house. I'm a loner by nature, I enjoy being ALONE all day. The few occasions we have had family stay with us it literally drove me insane to the point that I locked myself in my bedroom with dd during the duration of their stay, with DH going as far as cutting a hole in our closet so I could get to the bathroom.<br><br>
I far more enjoy people's company when I'm not obligated to not only house them, but entertain them as well. Which is why we have our newest house rule: NO overnight company. We simply explain it like this: we like to walk around in the nude, have sex on the living room floor, etc. Anything possible to make people uncomfortable about staying at our house.<br><br>
If that isn't an option, I'd simply tell them that at this point in your pregnancy, you're really just not up to entertaining 24 hours per day, and it makes you feel rather uncomfortable having 3 people sleeping on your living room floor.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
THank you so much for all your posts of advice! I made sure DH and I were on the same page...I don't want him to feel that I don't want to accomodate his family, just that it's not in me to right now to have my comfort level drastically decreased. I asked how he felt about it and he said the three of them staying here would drastically crowd us. He wrote them and suggested that his little brother stay here and they stay in a nearby hotel that's having a winter special (39/night!) so they'd be more comfortable...and he added that's it up to them. So basically, I think we gave a subtle hint as well as a way out if they really didn't want to spend the money on a hotel. Hopefully, they'll like the idea and if not, guess I really just have to suck it up!
 

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My Mom is constantly inviting 3-5 house guests to stay at my apartment. DH really hates it, but I just don't worry about it. If they want to sleep on the floor, more power to them. As long as they know what they're in for before they get there...I give up all feeling of responsibility for their comfort.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>baybemama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7288882"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">He wrote them and suggested that his little brother stay here and they stay in a nearby hotel</div>
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That sounds like a really good compromise.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>amberbella</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7289237"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My Mom is constantly inviting 3-5 house guests to stay at my apartment. DH really hates it, but I just don't worry about it. If they want to sleep on the floor, more power to them. As long as they know what they're in for before they get there...I give up all feeling of responsibility for their comfort.</div>
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I think this is kind of unfair to your husband. If I were in his position this would be a very serious problem.<br><br>
Babymama~ I'm glad your husband took the initiative and spoke with them. Sounds like he did it very tactfully, too. I hope it works out and you guys have a great weekend <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.
 
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