[sofysmommy]

Before dh and I met, he was making good money. He pays 800 dollars a month for child support for his son wich is half his pay, plus 100% medical bills plus he drives for 6+ hours on weekends for visitaion. He no longer makes what he did before we met plus now we have 2 babies.we can hardly make ends meet, even had our electricity cut off, we do not have the luxury of cable tv or things like that we have used furniture used cloths, nothing wrong with being thrifty though but for us it is a nececity, I do not qualify for WICor any program that could help me with food or insurance.

I told dh to maybe take his ex to court and adjust the child support but he says the court wil not listen to him. Is that true? is there nothing that can be done ?

 

[McFeelings]

It depends on what state you are in. I know in the state through which my DH pays his child support it is a straight up formula using mother and father incomes, the number of "other" children/dependents each has, and housing expenses. It automatically comes up for review/adjustments every 5 years. No "going to court" is really involved. Just a submission of affadavits of income/expenses.

 

[MeganW]

I think your DH needs to file to have the support adjusted. 800 a month for one child is A LOT. WOW. It will depend on how long ago and why his income has changed however it should be adjusted some regardless of that because he now has two more children. Good Luck.

 

[chel]

DH's cs is a set % of his gross income and 1/2 of medical. After taxes and student loans, Dh's take home is equal to what he pays in cs.
When the 2dsd were here they made of handed remarks that Dh and I spend more on dd then we do on them. I didn't want to "get into it" but oh, if they only knew.
DH and his X went the cheap route when getting divorced. The agreement left alot out (visitation when one or both parents move, telephone contact, etc) but at least the % method keeps us out of court, though maybe if we went to court the other things could be worked out

the worst was X claiming that 1/2 of medical was half of the "pre-insurance cost". The degree just mentions "1/2 of medical" so if X had a $100 medical bill but only had to pay a $20 co-pay, she would want us to pay $50

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[sofysmommy]

Thing is also my dh' s X wil not drive half way, and won't even buy clothes or shoes for dss. I also forgot to mention that at 12 years old he goes to daycare after school , not an afterschool program , but the day care she works at. she gets 50% off the cost but dh has to pay 100 dollars a week?

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we live in NY can anyone direct me to a website where I can inform myself of local laws? This is all new to me(mariage and being a step)

 

[wanderlost]

y husband thought the same thing, but we are now in the middle of getting our ( his) support reduced. When we met, five years ago, it was set at 540.00/mo. my husband then was laid-off for nine months and got into arrearage, and once he went back to work he took a pay cut but his support was moved to 640.00 a month to pay off the back support. He since adopted my son and we have one on the way - that with the pay cut, (and the fact that we paid off the arrearage), we are getting the support cut down to about 360.00 a month! We hired a lawyer to take care of it, and it does go state by state, but it is possible to get support reduced.

 

[Flor]

In our state it goes by what someone COULD make based on their employment history. But, if you'd added 2 kids into the mix then the support should go down. Is he paying 800 a month PLUS 400 for child care? Why does he pay for 100% of the childcare? Is it 100 dollars a week after her discount? That is really expensive for a 12 year old! Talk to a lawyer. I know they are expensive but SOO worth it.

 

[appifanie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeganW I think your DH needs to file to have the support adjusted. 800 a month for one child is A LOT. WOW. It will depend on how long ago and why his income has changed however it should be adjusted some regardless of that because he now has two more children. Good Luck.

agreed. my mom used to get $1000/month for me, but even i am still bitter about this b/c i feel bad for my poor dad (and i'm 29 now!)

you should be able to get the amount changed, and even if not, it is certainly worth a shot. it's not fair for you guys to suffer that much.

(and wth is with the men having to do all the driving? my dh always drives too b/c his ex won't do it - pest)

 

[sehbub]

Quote:

Originally Posted by appifanie (and wth is with the men having to do all the driving? my dh always drives too b/c his ex won't do it - pest)

I know that in my DH's divorce decree, it was stated that the non-custodial parent was responsible for transportation during visitation. Most of the time, the biomom is custodial, meaning the dads (or step-moms) have to drive. Just the way the cookie crumbles, it seems.

We're also in the process of filing to have support reduced, as DH is make close to $5,000 less/yr than he was when it was set, and we've got a baby of our own plus another on the way. DH pays 1000/mo now, but we're hoping to get it reduced to around 700. That extra 300/mo will go a long way to providing the things we want for ALL of our kids!

 

[sofysmommy]

We do not want dss to have less but dh is non custodial yet he is providing all the finacial support, clothes included. My mom recieved about 300 a month for us 3 kids, but that money bought us food clothes and shelter.My mother went years without getting herself even shoes so that we could have clothes the money was for the children, yet dss has only 2 t-shirts and 2 pair of pants and thst is because we bought them. So what infuriates dh is that they do not even live in a "good" part of town plus she has a room mate so where is all that money going? What makes me angry is that MY dad basically had nothing to do with us kids was not involved at all then we have fathers like dh doing so much for their children and the courts do not listen to them

This woman had lost custody of her older children and they did not want anything to do with her. ahhh I guess we need an attorney.

 

[appifanie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sehbub I know that in my DH's divorce decree, it was stated that the non-custodial parent was responsible for transportation during visitation. Most of the time, the biomom is custodial, meaning the dads (or step-moms) have to drive. Just the way the cookie crumbles, it seems.

dh's either doesn't specify or says they should share (i can't remember now and am too lazy to look). it did, of course, specify that he should get stuck w/ the gigantic, non-childcare related credit card bills she ran up while he was out of the country (he's in the army, he was in iraq)

 

[sehbub]

Quote:

Originally Posted by appifanie dh's either doesn't specify or says they should share (i can't remember now and am too lazy to look). it did, of course, specify that he should get stuck w/ the gigantic, non-childcare related credit card bills she ran up while he was out of the country (he's in the army, he was in iraq)

I know how you feel. My DH's x stopped making mortgage payments and car payments and credit card payments after she kicked him out, and then filed bankruptcy, so we can't get approved for *anything* now. We're gonna have to file too...6 months of mortgage payments on his credit is way too much to overcome, not to mention all the other stuff. It's a shame.

 

[luvdisny]

sehbub,

Was my dh married to your dh's exw also? I can say the same thing about my dh's exw and what it has done to our finances. She let the house foreclose, left him with credit card debt, loans and it made it difficult for us to buy our house. I'm hoping to refinance in the future for a lower interest rate.

 

[sehbub]

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvdisny sehbub, Was my dh married to your dh's exw also? I can say the same thing about my dh's exw and what it has done to our finances. She let the house foreclose, left him with credit card debt, loans and it made it difficult for us to buy our house. I'm hoping to refinance in the future for a lower interest rate.

It's possible, considering my DH was her second or third husband, but she didn't have kids with the first (two?) so probably not.

Now she has met a man that our girls absolutely love and want to be their step-dad, has been with him for almost a year and a half now, but she refuses to even entertain the idea of marrying him, even though he wants to marry her. She's 40, so she has decided not to have any more kids, but her bf is only 24 or so, and really wants a family, and is more than happy to help raise the girls with her. I just wish she'd give them the family they so want. In their minds, mommies are supposed to have help from daddies.

Although, our 6 year old did inform her 4 year old sister that if the first husband isn't a good one, you can just "dump him and find another one." How sad is that?

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