[OTMomma]

Hi, I've been lurking here a while. We've been ttc #2 for a long time and I am feeling more and more like adoption might be the right choice for us. For various reasons I'm thinking international so my questions:

1. Do I pick an agency or a country first? Any advice there is appreciated

2. I have one bio child, my dd is 4, my dh and I are 28, we would want to adopt a child under 2- Can you recommend a country (or list of them) that might be good choices for us to read up on? I know we won't qualify for all of them due to age, and I wondered if having a bio child would rule out some countries?

 

[vermonttaylors]

Hi Laura,

dh and I decided on a country first. We basically looked at different lists that say which countries have adoption programs and went through them. The key for us was to not judge the other person for not wanting to adopt from one place or another. We didn't make the other person explain. It's a long enough process as it is without adding extra stress to the process.

We narrowed it down to like 3 countries and then did as much researchas possible. Kazakhstan was a perfect fit for us for a lot of reasons.

As for agencies DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!!!!! Don't just go by the website you like best. (Not that you would, I'm just giving an example) There is a yahoo group called Adoption_Agency_Research that is a great resource for vetting agencies.

The agency you pick does NOT have to be in your home state. You will need a local social worker to do your homestudy. Also, many agencies have informational seminars to help you get started in the process. An informational meeting with a local adoption agency or social worker can help narrow the field too.

Some good websites to get you started are:

www.rainbowkids.com (an international adoption web-letter)

www.adoptivefamilies.com

www.ethicanet.org (a resource for ethical adoption)

www.myadoptionlinks.com (a ridiculously comprehensive list of all the countries who have programs or who are starting programs set up by an adoptive mama with an astounding amount of time on her hands. Either that or she is an insomniac)

PM me with any questions you may have. And good luck

 

[OTMomma]

Thanks for the response and the links, April.

Anyone else have advice, or a favorite contry to suggest?

 

[Diane B]

Generally, I think it's a great idea to pick the country first (especially since they each have different requirements) and then the agency.

However, in the interest of full disclosure, we did the opposite. The country our daughter is from, Guatemala, had a big hold up in adoptions when we first started looking at options, so it wasn't even on our list. However, when we met with an agency about Eastern European adoption, Guatemala had just really opened back up, and it just felt right to us as soon as we heard more about it. They had a really strong program in Guatemala, we felt very comfortable with the coordinator, and it was a good fit for our family in many ways.

 

[annethcz]

I agree, pick the country first and then the agency. We used a local homestudy agency, but the placement agency was halfway across the country from us. Didn't matter at all.

We were about the same age when we started the adoption process (I was 27, DH was 29). I can't remember all of the different requirements for different countries, but being under 30 would disqualify you from adopting from both China and Haiti. Our DS was adopted from Ethiopia, our age was not an issue at all, and the process went very smoothly.

Good luck in your research!

 

[JunipersMom]

When you start with a country in mind it is easier IMHO to then find an agency. We decided on Guatemala and the agency we used (and loved!!!) ForThisChild.org only works with Guatemala. It was the best experience in our lives! We are just starting to discuss number two babe, and are looking towards Ethiopia..
Best of luck to you on the roller coaster that is adoption!!!

~Shannon

 

[tiffani]

Is it still true that Canadians can't adopt from Ethiopia? I read that somewhere, not sure if it's current...

Also, for those of you who have or are currently adopting from Liberia, what agency did you use (if any), and what are the timelines like?

 

[Brazilianmommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTMomma Thanks for the response and the links, April. Anyone else have advice, or a favorite contry to suggest?

Well my SIL adopted a Mexican and a Russian child and a co worker of my DH adopted all of their 3 children an Italian baby girl an Ethiopian girl and a Croatian boy and..

And all of them are happy families I can't tell you about agencies becuase I don't know of any(my dh and I will not adopt) but those are the countries that I know that friends have adopt and it has been a beautiful experience with the kids...

 

[vermonttaylors]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JunipersMom When you start with a country in mind it is easier IMHO to then find an agency. We decided on Guatemala and the agency we used (and loved!!!) ForThisChild.org only works with Guatemala. It was the best experience in our lives! We are just starting to discuss number two babe, and are looking towards Ethiopia.. Best of luck to you on the roller coaster that is adoption!!! ~Shannon

If you do decide on Guatemala, I would also recommend For this Child. I have done a LOT of research and I can't find anyone who had a bad experience with this agency. They are very highly respected. Not that I have used them, but if we go to Guatemala for our next adoption, we are definately using them.

 

[RedOakMomma]

Country first, then agency.

The big agency sites (Holt, and places like that) will give you tons of information that you can use to educate yourself on the process, the requirements, etc. Also, give a local agency (or two) a call and talk about the process in person.

Dh and I looked into Asia adoptions. You wouldn't qualify for China because of age (must be 30 or older), but Korea would be okay. You can get children as young as 4 months (rarely younger)...they're usually boys. Some agencies will let you specify boy or girl. With Korea, each agency has different "fine tuning" requirments. It's easy to find out what they are with a simple call. I'm away from my normal computer with my normal adoption links, but I think www.adoptkorea.com is a good one.

Also, if you want a young baby, Ethiopia might be a great place to investigate.

Good luck! I hope you find the right fit!

 

[UUMom]

What state are you in?

 

[OTMomma]

I'm in Tennessee

 

[vermonttaylors]

www.adoptkorea.com[/url[/URL]] is a good one.

QUOTE]

Just a heads up about Korea! Things are changing fast there. They are actively encouraging domestic adoption so young infants will soon be a thing of the past for international adoption. Children will not become available for referral until they are about 5 months old. There are some agencies who are not accepting new applications while these changes take place and there is some talk (granted I think it's a rumor) that Korean adoptions will go on hold for a little while these changes are put in place.

 

[Mariasmommy]

Hi Laura,
I am new here, but I did read your post about international adoption. My hubby and I adopted a little girl from Guatemala in 2005. She is now 20 months old and we are so blessed to have her. We are now in the process of adopting a little boy from Guatemala. We used the agency Homestudies and Adoption Placement Services (located in New Jersey). You should choose your country first. We chose Guatemala for many reasons..mainly because we wanted an infant and we knew Guatemala places mostly infants. My daughter was 6 1/2 months old when we got her. And it doesn't matter whether you already have other children. With any international adoption there is a lot of paperwork and its not easy. But worth it. If you would like to know more just let me know and I will be happy to share my past and present experiences with you.
Amy S

 

[OTMomma]

Thanks everyone! I'm reading the websites, and its a lot to take in! I'm now wondering how in the world we'll pay for this- I hadn't realized quite how much it is. Did most of you take out loans?

 

[kmecke]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mariasmommy Hi Laura, My daughter was 6 1/2 months old when we got her. Amy S

Were you able to breastfeed her at that age?

 

[jayayenay]

Here's another good site with frequently updated info about the process & rules for various countries: http://travel.state.gov/family/adopt...untry_369.html

 

[pearlgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTMomma Did most of you take out loans?

A lot of people get loans. We did the first time around, as well as did some major saving (no cable tv, no eating out, etc) and worked extra jobs. This time around we are trying to take advantage of some of the credit card offers we've been getting. One has 0% on cash advances for a year so we figure we'll be able to pay it off with the tax money and then we are getting another one with 0% on purchases for 18 months that we will use to purchase our airline tickets (probably about $5000 for me, DH and two DD's and then the two new kids we'll need to bring home.) We also figure that if for some reason we can't pay it off we can do a balance transfer to a 0% offer if we need to.

I understand not wanting to go into debt but you can do it responsibly and if you look at it like a $25,000 car that SO many people have no trouble going into debt for and do so successfully it doesn't seem so scarey.

When we started our first adoption we had about $5000. The whole thing cost us about $27,000. We had the entire thing paid off within 4 months of coming home with our daughter. The whole thing, from deciding to adopt and having about $5,000 to having our daughter home with us and the whole thing completely paid for was less than one year. This time we have to borrow about twice as much and I don't expect to have it paid off quite as quickly, but even if it takes twice as long to pay it off, well then that's about year instead of a few months and I can handle that.

Sarah

 

[Niamh]

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[OTMomma]

Thank you all for sharing! Dh and I had a real heart to heart recently, and he admitted he's not really ready to move on to adoption just yet. But having all your advice gives me somewhere to start when he is ready.

Peace,