Quoth SIL: "You're not giving birth in your bathtub, are you?!?"

626 Views 11 Replies 12 Participants Last post by crystalalene, Jun 24, 2007

LittleBrownDog

Discussion Starter · Jun 23, 2007

I was talking to SIL tonight about how our insurance stinks but I was glad they were covering my out of hospital birth.

Meant to not mention that to anyone in my family- they are soooo mainstream but tolerant enough of my wacky hippie ways. So there was a pause, and... "You're not giving birth in a hospital?" I start rambling and say No, it's safer to birth at home if you're low risk and blah blah and she stops me and says, jokingly (like in a tone of "I KNOW you wouldn't be THIS crazy") "You're not going to, like, have the baby in your bathtub or anything, are you?!?!"

Sooo, I go back into rambling mode... "Well, it's a possibility, right now I'm registered at the birth center and... blah blah blah."

To SILs credit she didn't push it and just sort of laughed about who would clean up the "mess."

I told her the MWs have it all worked out

Why can't I just say, "Yup, I'm giving birth at home and I'm excited about it!" Why do I feel like I have to defend myself? Ugh. Damn insecurities. I KNOW this is the right choice for me, so why do I feel like I need to tiptoe around the topic?

Oh well.

Just needed to vent.

See less See more

Save

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

Mama Bear

· #2 · Jun 23, 2007

just tell her 'no actually, I plan on giving birth on the toliet' bwahahahaha....

but seriously, I totally understand where you are coming from. I don't really talk about my birthing choices with anyone. With ds, just mentioning I was seeing a mw got my family and dh's family questioning 'well, you are going to see a real doctor too, right?' So, I just don't really bring it up anymore b/c people just don't understand.

Save

ABand3

· #3 · Jun 23, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleBrownDog

"You're not going to, like, have the baby in your bathtub or anything, are you?!?!"

"No, dear SIL, I thought I'd come over to your house and have it in your bathtub"

:

But I'm just like that.

I think you handled it fine. It's a shame that woman have to defend their birth choices at all.

See less See more

Save

greenmountainmomma

· #4 · Jun 23, 2007

My MIL thought I was totally off my rocker for having my son assisted by a midwife in a birthing center that was ATTACHED TO THE HOSPITAL. Oh, and that I was insane to have no pain medication.

*sigh* It doesn't matter what your choices are. Someone's always going to think theirs are better. We all know what's right for us.

Save

Monkeybutt

· #5 · Jun 23, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by ABand3

"No, dear SIL, I thought I'd come over to your house and have it in your bathtub"

:

But I'm just like that.

I think you handled it fine. It's a shame that woman have to defend their birth choices at all.

bahahahahaha!! thats great!!

ETA: Sorry about the dumb SIL. I was born at home so my family is pretty cool. And who cares about the inlaws.

See less See more

Save

LittleLlama

· #6 · Jun 23, 2007

See, I would have asked if she had a large bucket to hold your fish because you're going to birth in the fishtank.

Save

CaraNicole

· #7 · Jun 23, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleLlama

See, I would have asked if she had a large bucket to hold your fish because you're going to birth in the fishtank.

See less See more

Save

monocyte

· #8 · Jun 23, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleLlama

See, I would have asked if she had a large bucket to hold your fish because you're going to birth in the fishtank.

lemonade out the nose is not pleasant.

See less See more

Save

brooklyn_warbler

· #9 · Jun 23, 2007

aw, leigh!

i have been really surprised at how open people have been when it comes to my birthing plans. two of my cousins on my mom's side, who are totally mainstream, loved their epidurals, etc, simply pronounced an emphatic "cool!" when i told them i was trying for a homebirth. another cousin just said, "oh." my in-laws are clearly freaked but don't dare say anything.

: (my dad's side is pakistani, and were all born at home so they don't even bat an eyelash.)

i'm wondering if it's the way i'm approaching the whole thing -- i wouldn't say i take a short or cold tone, but i'm very matter-of-fact about it, don't hesitate in my answers, don't really explain beyond the statement of fact, etc. i realized early on in this pregnancy that as much as i want to (already) argue about all the untraditional choices we want to be making for this child, we're really not going make people agree with our choices, so why even bother? i came to this when we decided we wouldn't circ -- which will be a big deal since we are muslim (my husband converted). ultimately it's not worth fights to me, and i can see it turning into a BLOWOUT, so i've already adopted a particular way of saying things in prep for that.

so i just sort of state the facts ("we plan on cloth diapering"), let people say what they have to say ("you'll never do that for more than three days") and move on (smile, and change the subject). i imagine there are a few people who will be influenced, like my sisters or potentially a few of my friends, and those people it's worth getting into discussions with -- but i feel like i know who they are and change the way i speak appropriately.

but again, overall i've been pleasantly surprised by the reception i've been getting.

See less See more

Save

sorteep

· #10 · Jun 23, 2007

gotta love family!!!! sorry you are not getting great support.. I LOVE some of the comebacks here tho!! I remember my ex MIL saying (after we said we were planning on a natural birth) "Oh, you just WAIT you have no idea, you'll be BEGGING for the drugs" !! my answer "you don't know me very well//" It was actaully a good thing B/C avoiding hearing her say "I told you so" and being really smug kept me strong thru a tough back labor so really she did me a favor in the end!

I have learned to keep a lot of our choices to ourselves with family.. I find friends and awuaintences MUCH more understanding (prob because they could care less!!)

Save

Isaac'sMa

· #11 · Jun 23, 2007

Next time someone says that you can just say, "Well, I HOPE so! It'll make my labor so much more pleasant!" They probably wouldn't have a comeback for that.

See less See more

Save

crystalalene

· #12 · Jun 24, 2007

My reply:
"Well, that's why we're redoing the bathroom!"

See less See more

Save

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.

Top Contributors this Month