Raising Intactivists

I haven't said anything, b/c my DDs are too little yet. However, I intend to discuss this issue along w/ breastfeeding, childbirth, etc so that they will grow up knowing the facts. I grew up KNOWING mammals breastfeed. Just that basic opinion got me through so much when I was a new nursing mom.

The closest we came to a circ talk so far is when I mentioned to my oldest that I was sad b/c *insert friend's name* was having her baby boy circumcised at that moment. She said, "oh no. " She can't possibly know what circumcision means, but the way she said it was sweet. My children will definitely know how wrong circ is before they even get close to having kids.

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I just know that in the mid teens, peer influence becomes a very strong factor. If you have provided a strong base of knowledge, not just for genital integrity but for everything, they will tend to question that peer influence and arrive at their own conclusions. It is absolutely normal for them to start asserting their independence in their early teens and at that point, they are very vulnerable to influence from those other than their parents. A solid base of information beore they reach this point will help them make wise and well considered decisions throughout their life.

We see the evidence of it right here on this board. There are so many parents who come here with preconceived notions about circumcision that it is apparent that the parents did not establish a firm base of knowledge. this includes intact men and wives of intact men and brothers and sisters of intact men and sons and daughters of intact men who intend to circumcise. It is clearly apparent that these parents did not provide the supportive information their children needed and the information they have recieved is from peers.

The time to plant the message seed is in the pre-teen years when there isn't the competition from peers. I'm not saying that teens can not get the message, just that they will be much better prepared to deal with conflicting messages from peers and much more apt to accept the message as absolute truth. We see it here. As young adults, many see the message and consult with friends instead of consulting with the parents.

Frank

i dunno, frank, my dd will rebel from my opinion in every way possible, but she can see the truth about bfing and circ'ing (and tells her friends.) maybe you are selling them short it's pretty obvious once you think about it.

suse

I was 16 when I became anti-circ.. just a thought!

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Go give her a huge hug and kiss and don't let her near any other teens! :LOL

I remember my own "teenhood" and I was very rebellious. My parents never would have guessed it because I was very sneaky about it.

Frank

Two thirds of 6 year old boys are retractile which means that a sizeable portion of them are not retractile. There is a good chance your son is not ready yet and also a good chance that one of his younger brothers will become retractile before he does. It's all in the range of normal.

I suspect that he is preparing to become retractile though. I suspect the pain he is experiencing is a few remaining normal adhesions that are trying to release. It's not an even process and there will be spots of adhesions with loose areas all around them. When the boy has an erection or his penis is in a bind in his underwear, there will be some pulling on these remaining adhesions causing slight discomfort. This will go away as the still attached areas release and he will become retractile.

As long as there is no sign of trauma or infection, there is nothing wrong. The foreskin is an incredibly sensitive structure much the same as the lips and if there is any problem at all, it will show up very quickly and will be very apparent, just like a fat lip after a minor blow.

Frank