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Ok...so I really just need to rant for a minute...<br><br>
My DH, who is probably one of the most intelligent people I know, is driving me a little bonkers with his overly analytical self. He is simply not in awe of anything...and being far too "in his head" about the pregnancy so far. SO, for example, if I ever say anything like, "Wow - it is really amazing that there is actually something growing inside me that is moving independently of me!" He'll respond, "Well - it's a natural function of..." and then proceed to give me a biology lesson, like I'm an idiot.<br><br>
This is a man who if you tried to just marvel at the fact that a giant hunk of a metal tanker can float, will proceed to tell you that it's simply a function of displacement, yadi yadi yadi. Ok - yes - of course I know there's a scientific explanation but can't you be in awe of anything for once???<br><br>
ARRGGHH...it makes it really frustrating to try and talk about my feelings related to this pregnancy and even harder to get him to talk about his feelings related to the pregnancy. It's like he's acting as though he's an old hand at this...all "been there, done this" and it's driving me crazy! I want him to be in awe of this process...yes, it might all be quite biological, but c'mon it's a miracle that we can do this - grow a human being inside of us and he's being blasé about it! You know what I mean??? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: My girlfriends assure me that he'll be "cured" of this when he witnesses the birth. Lord - I hope so!
 

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Are we married to the same man? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
When I was pregger's dh read all the books, looked at all of the picts of how the fetus grows, etc. We went Bradley so he kept my food journal, etc. Sound familiar?<br><br>
Just wait till the exam where the gyn and dh are discussing the formations and changes down there while you are on the table with your legs spread!<br><br>
Yes, they did! As calmly as I could, I asked them to stop discussing me like an exhibit at the musuem!<br><br>
Good luck - it only gets worse! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Wait till he reads all the infant to toddler books!<br><br>
However, it has gotten better in the last few years (dd is 8!)
 

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Some men <b>just don't get it</b> until they witness the birth and the miracle that is their little newborn. I sincerely doubt that when he holds the baby for the first time, he'll be thinking, "Well, chromosomes and genetics produced this infant...blah blah blah." He <b>will</b> be in awe and wonder. Until then, try not to let his analysis of the situation impede on your excitement. Share the pregnancy awe with your friends, family, or other pregnant mamas. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Wait till he can't problem solve crying at 3:00am and you can tell him...."well, it's just natural biology blah blah blah" or when he doesn't have enough hands to clean a super poop blow out which requires head to toe new garments and then a diaper station change as well!<br>
I hear you! All you can do is tell him you'd like him to look at your feelings rather than "fix" or "solve" things. It's a man thing - that's why they are from Mars <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> My Dh just doesn't say much of anything.......sometimes that's just as frustrating!
 

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Yes, I have one of those husbands, too! I always laugh when I think about a trip we made to Epcot on our first anniversary. As we were leaving there were all these cool lights on the sidewalk that disappeared as you walked up to them, then reappeared after you walked by. I commented on how cool that was and he proceeded to tell me how they were fiberoptic and weren't really disappearing, blah, blah. I just looked at him afterward and told him that I like them better when they were just magical! Totally ruined the moment! He's gotten better now (after 11 years of marriage!) to step back and figure out when I just want something to be magic.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MimiB</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6379946"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Ok...so I really just need to rant for a minute...<br><br>
My DH, who is probably one of the most intelligent people I know, is driving me a little bonkers with his overly analytical self. He is simply not in awe of anything...and being far too "in his head" about the pregnancy so far. SO, for example, if I ever say anything like, "Wow - it is really amazing that there is actually something growing inside me that is moving independently of me!" He'll respond, "Well - it's a natural function of..." and then proceed to give me a biology lesson, like I'm an idiot.<br><br>
This is a man who if you tried to just marvel at the fact that a giant hunk of a metal tanker can float, will proceed to tell you that it's simply a function of displacement, yadi yadi yadi. Ok - yes - of course I know there's a scientific explanation but can't you be in awe of anything for once???<br><br>
ARRGGHH...it makes it really frustrating to try and talk about my feelings related to this pregnancy and even harder to get him to talk about his feelings related to the pregnancy. It's like he's acting as though he's an old hand at this...all "been there, done this" and it's driving me crazy! I want him to be in awe of this process...yes, it might all be quite biological, but c'mon it's a miracle that we can do this - grow a human being inside of us and he's being blasé about it! You know what I mean??? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: My girlfriends assure me that he'll be "cured" of this when he witnesses the birth. Lord - I hope so!</div>
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Speaking as a fairly analytical person, my opinion is that being analytical about the biological processes of pregnancy IS his way of celebrating the miracle, as it were. Some people are convinced of the miracle first and want to know about the realities second, but for some of us, it is through the "how" of things that they appreciate the "why."<br><br>
Moreover, he may not be being "blasé." I think for men, pregnancy already <i>is</i> a fairly abstract event for them, much as their prostate problems or erection difficulties or baldness are fairly abstract events for us. Empathize though we may, we don't <i>feel</i> those problems the way they do. When you add on to that the fact that he sounds like the kind of person who keeps a reasonably tight lid on his emotions, expecting him to be misty-eyed about a child who is basically not much more than an unseen bump to him so far is not having expectations that are proportional to the circumstances, KWIM?<br><br>
I think that when he actually has his child in his arms, it won't be nearly as much of an abstraction. For obvious reasons.
 

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From the December due date club, but I wanted to comment:<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
Ashamed and embarrassed here but willing to admit that I share this quality somewhat with these men. I got this way by virtue of many years of schooling in math and science. But I say I am "somewhat" this way because sometimes I am too emotional to be "Mr. Spock."<br><br><span style="text-decoration:underline;">Meg, you are right on</span>: I agree that once your husbands see their children, the sheer fact of being a dad will shove all that analysis out the window if only for that one day.<br><br>
Also, always remember that analytical people, although <span style="text-decoration:underline;">very</span> annoying (I know I am!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ), are usually very reliable. Think of it, ladies, wouldn't you rather have a stable man over an "artist" type who may at some point ditch responsibility because he "feels like it?"<br><br>
Anyway, I don't mean to trivialize your rant; I just want to add a different perspective.
 
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