sorry but i just hafta leave off some steam, i went to the dr (anxiety probs) and i've only ever seen her twice cuz i just don't go to the dr but she was asking me what i guess was normal questions like my age, history of illness, etc, and when she got to the question of birth control and just assumed i had my tubes tied i was furious, i said i wasn't on any bc and she just looked at me then asked if i was planning on getting on bc, i said no i want another baby, then she proceeded to explain that women over 35 have alot more problems, i should be happy with the 2 i have, etc, now don't get me wrong, i'm very happy with the 2 i have but is there something wrong with wanting another, i've heard of lots of women over 35 having a totally normal pg and birth. I told her i know all about trouble getting/staying pg, i've had 5 mc, then she said well you've had all those problems when you were younger just think how many more problems your gonna have being older. I just let the subject go but i believe that will be my last visit with her. I'm just so mad that people just assume i'm done having children since i've reached that wicked "35", i will be 36 in Jan. and i'm not sure when i'll stop ttc, i just know i'm not ready to quit yet! Thenks for letting me vent, i'm done now and i do feel alittle better, its amazing how venting on a computer will make you feel better<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
Rant!!! Is 35 too old to ttc
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I had my first child at 37 and am expecting my second at 40. My first was perfectly healthy and I'm having a normal second pregnancy with absolutely no complications.<br><br>
I too had several miscarriages but all of the doctors I saw said that they could have been because of my age or some other unknown reason. My OB said that he has seen many younger women suffer multiple miscarriages.<br><br>
You should definately not see this doctor again.
I too had several miscarriages but all of the doctors I saw said that they could have been because of my age or some other unknown reason. My OB said that he has seen many younger women suffer multiple miscarriages.<br><br>
You should definately not see this doctor again.
No! 35 is not too old! It's amazing that a female doctor was saying this to you.<br><br>
I'm 36 and expecting my first in November. Husband works with a 42-year-old woman expecting her first in December.<br><br>
I am having a problem-free pregnancy (no morning sickness! no heartburn! no anything!).<br><br>
I would not visit a seriously misinformed doctor like that again.
I'm 36 and expecting my first in November. Husband works with a 42-year-old woman expecting her first in December.<br><br>
I am having a problem-free pregnancy (no morning sickness! no heartburn! no anything!).<br><br>
I would not visit a seriously misinformed doctor like that again.
That doctor was way out of line with that. It is not her decision how many children you may or may not choose to have or when.<br><br>
We had DD when I was 36, concieved when I was 35.<br><br>
We're not being "careful" now. We shall see what happens.<br><br>
Granted, the risks of certain abnormalities do increase with age, but you/we go into this informed, right? We know what we're willing to face, or we find out, IF... IF being the operative word.
We had DD when I was 36, concieved when I was 35.<br><br>
We're not being "careful" now. We shall see what happens.<br><br>
Granted, the risks of certain abnormalities do increase with age, but you/we go into this informed, right? We know what we're willing to face, or we find out, IF... IF being the operative word.
What she said was outrageous. I'm 36 and pg with my first. It seemed that before we were TTC, everywhere I looked were articles about how it was SO DANGEROUS and SO MANY WOMEN just had left it too late, and couldn't get pregnant like they thought, and blah blah blah. My mom, feminist from the '70's that she is, thinks it's a plot by men to scare women out of the working world and back into the homes by telling them they have to have babies sooner. Ha!<br><br>
Last year two of my coworkers who were each 45 had perfectly healthy pregnancies which resulted in two beautiful babies. I've had no complications (knock on wood)... in fact I'm healthier now that I'm "AMA" than I was two years ago before I reached the DREADED 35.<br><br>
This attitude drives me nuts. I would've been a terrible mother ten years ago! I was a nutcase in an abusive relationship! Now I'm calm, peaceful, settled, and married to a wonderful man. NOW is when I'm going to have babies, and I don't care who has what to say about it!<br><br>
Find another doctor!<br><br>
Scuse me, guess I had a little rant all my own!
Last year two of my coworkers who were each 45 had perfectly healthy pregnancies which resulted in two beautiful babies. I've had no complications (knock on wood)... in fact I'm healthier now that I'm "AMA" than I was two years ago before I reached the DREADED 35.<br><br>
This attitude drives me nuts. I would've been a terrible mother ten years ago! I was a nutcase in an abusive relationship! Now I'm calm, peaceful, settled, and married to a wonderful man. NOW is when I'm going to have babies, and I don't care who has what to say about it!<br><br>
Find another doctor!<br><br>
Scuse me, guess I had a little rant all my own!
Of course you are not too old to ttc! It sounds like that doctor stepped over the line a bit with her comments. Aren't there mamas who have their first child at age 40 or later? 35 is definitely not too old, and I'm sure this is something that you and your family have put some thought into. It's not her decision, it is your family's decision! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
You're not too old. I am 39 and just had my first - a very healthy boy. It was an easy pregnancy, long labor, but no stitches or c-section (thank you, midwives!).<br><br>
Yes, there is statistically a greater risk of down's syndrome and other trisomy disorders over age 35. But the numbers are averages and family history and other factors influence your specific risk factors. That your doc didn't simply state these things annoys me. I really don't like that so many doctors are negative and always looking for something wrong. One reason my DH and I chose to go the midwife route.<br><br>
I took all the non-invasive tests and they gave me a pretty good sense that I didn't need/want an amnio. Their estimate of my chances of a down's syndrome baby were way less than that of a miscarriage from amnio (1 in 2000 vs. 1 in 200 or 300 depending on practitioner.<br><br>
For years I always thought that if I found out I was going to have a Down's baby that I would abort for his/her sake as well as my own. After seeing my little one moving around in my first ultrasound, however, I knew that no matter what I was going to keep my baby. Off the point, but true!
Yes, there is statistically a greater risk of down's syndrome and other trisomy disorders over age 35. But the numbers are averages and family history and other factors influence your specific risk factors. That your doc didn't simply state these things annoys me. I really don't like that so many doctors are negative and always looking for something wrong. One reason my DH and I chose to go the midwife route.<br><br>
I took all the non-invasive tests and they gave me a pretty good sense that I didn't need/want an amnio. Their estimate of my chances of a down's syndrome baby were way less than that of a miscarriage from amnio (1 in 2000 vs. 1 in 200 or 300 depending on practitioner.<br><br>
For years I always thought that if I found out I was going to have a Down's baby that I would abort for his/her sake as well as my own. After seeing my little one moving around in my first ultrasound, however, I knew that no matter what I was going to keep my baby. Off the point, but true!
I'm glad to hear of all the great pregnancies after the big 35<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
I wouldn't have been nearly as angry at my dr if she would've just explained some risks that could happen (which of course i already knew) but it was just the way she handled it that was so wrong.<br>
Congrats For All The Healthy Babies!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
I wouldn't have been nearly as angry at my dr if she would've just explained some risks that could happen (which of course i already knew) but it was just the way she handled it that was so wrong.<br>
Congrats For All The Healthy Babies!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
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I was born when my mom was 35. And my sister had a baby at age 37--she and the baby are just fine.
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She's nuts, I just turned 37 and I am very purposely pregnant with babe #2. DP would really like 3 so I may be having another one at about 40.
Wow! Nice, really nice. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: Very insensitive.<br><br>
I know I can't begin to imagine how shocked, angry, hurt, etc. you felt when she was going on that way. Can you report her to a supervisor (or at least the state medical board)?
I know I can't begin to imagine how shocked, angry, hurt, etc. you felt when she was going on that way. Can you report her to a supervisor (or at least the state medical board)?
I'm not sure whether i can report her or not, i actually never thought of that but it is a good idea. I guess my main concern was to get outta there and never come back. I think i'll look into that though.<br><br>
I'm just so glad to hear so many great stories about babies being born healthy after 35.
I'm just so glad to hear so many great stories about babies being born healthy after 35.
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229 Posts
I am turning 35 in December and presently TTC#3. I might want one more after this one...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">. I do not think 35+ is to old to be having a baby. I actually feel very blessed to be a mother at this stage in my life. It means I will get to enjoy motherhood into years where many woman are done raising children. I have noticed that each baby is taking longr to concieve, (#1 1 month TTC age 27, #2 8 months TTC age 32, #3 so far TTC 10 months), no proof that is age though..lol. Good luck in TTC...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.
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3,283 Posts
My Mom had her my brothers and sister at age 22, 24, and 25. During the year after having<br>
the third child she had a miscarriage, followed by another miscarriage about 6 years later.<br>
This all happened before she was age 30. She then had me at age 38.<br><br><br>
My sister had problems with her period her whole life, then in her early thirties went threw<br>
several brain operations to remove tumors on her pituitary gland. She later had two children<br>
at age 34 and 39.<br><br><br>
I'm sorry your Doctor was so ignorant. Many women have children after 35, many of those<br>
have had medical complications of many sorts. You keep positive, and only YOU can decide<br>
when you are ready to stop trying.
the third child she had a miscarriage, followed by another miscarriage about 6 years later.<br>
This all happened before she was age 30. She then had me at age 38.<br><br><br>
My sister had problems with her period her whole life, then in her early thirties went threw<br>
several brain operations to remove tumors on her pituitary gland. She later had two children<br>
at age 34 and 39.<br><br><br>
I'm sorry your Doctor was so ignorant. Many women have children after 35, many of those<br>
have had medical complications of many sorts. You keep positive, and only YOU can decide<br>
when you are ready to stop trying.
I have to say that I feel like what your doctor said was unethical. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> She is incredibly misinformed and had NO business telling you that you had no right to consider a pg after age 35! I'd look at reporting her as well.....<br><br>
I had my first child at age 36 (and he's pretty perfect!) and we're currently TTC #2 at age 40. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
I had my first child at age 36 (and he's pretty perfect!) and we're currently TTC #2 at age 40. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Grace24</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8749349"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What she said was outrageous. I'm 36 and pg with my first. It seemed that before we were TTC, everywhere I looked were articles about how it was SO DANGEROUS and SO MANY WOMEN just had left it too late, and couldn't get pregnant like they thought, and blah blah blah. My mom, feminist from the '70's that she is, thinks it's a plot by men to scare women out of the working world and back into the homes by telling them they have to have babies sooner. Ha!<br><br>
Last year two of my coworkers who were each 45 had perfectly healthy pregnancies which resulted in two beautiful babies. I've had no complications (knock on wood)... in fact I'm healthier now that I'm "AMA" than I was two years ago before I reached the DREADED 35.<br><br>
This attitude drives me nuts. I would've been a terrible mother ten years ago! I was a nutcase in an abusive relationship! Now I'm calm, peaceful, settled, and married to a wonderful man. NOW is when I'm going to have babies, and I don't care who has what to say about it!<br><br>
Find another doctor!<br><br>
Scuse me, guess I had a little rant all my own!</div>
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I am happy to hear that you are pg and doing well but the reality is that a woman's fertility <b>does</b> start to decrease starting in her late twenties and even more so after 35 and certainly after 40. That does not mean a woman should not have a baby after 35, but they should have the facts. We see lots of celebrities having children in their 40s and really it is misleading as a woman has a very small chance of getting and staying pregnant after 40 with her own eggs. Many people are using donor eggs. I bet the women in your office didn't get pregnant with their own eggs. Yes, it is possible but statisitcally, not very likely.
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Grace24</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8749349"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What she said was outrageous. I'm 36 and pg with my first. It seemed that before we were TTC, everywhere I looked were articles about how it was SO DANGEROUS and SO MANY WOMEN just had left it too late, and couldn't get pregnant like they thought, and blah blah blah. My mom, feminist from the '70's that she is, thinks it's a plot by men to scare women out of the working world and back into the homes by telling them they have to have babies sooner. Ha!<br><br>
Last year two of my coworkers who were each 45 had perfectly healthy pregnancies which resulted in two beautiful babies. I've had no complications (knock on wood)... in fact I'm healthier now that I'm "AMA" than I was two years ago before I reached the DREADED 35.<br><br>
This attitude drives me nuts. I would've been a terrible mother ten years ago! I was a nutcase in an abusive relationship! Now I'm calm, peaceful, settled, and married to a wonderful man. NOW is when I'm going to have babies, and I don't care who has what to say about it!<br><br>
Find another doctor!<br><br>
Scuse me, guess I had a little rant all my own!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I am happy to hear that you are pg and doing well but the reality is that a woman's fertility <b>does</b> start to decrease starting in her late twenties and even more so after 35 and certainly after 40. That does not mean a woman should not have a baby after 35, but they should have the facts. We see lots of celebrities having children in their 40s and really it is misleading as a woman has a very small chance of getting and staying pregnant after 40 with her own eggs. Many people are using donor eggs. I bet the women in your office didn't get pregnant with their own eggs. Yes, it is possible but statisitcally, not very likely.
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