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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have HAD it today!!! It feels like everyone who is supposed to be supporting me is trying to make me crazy!!!<br>
My MIL was asked 6 months ago to be at the birth to support me and Eric and yesterday I find out that she is not ok with the whole birth center thing!!! It took her 6 months to get around to telling me this?<br>
So now I have no support person since tomorrow is my 36 week appointment at the birth center and all support ppl are required to show up.<br><br>
My husband teaches and Wed was the last day of school, but teachers have other things to do before summer begins for them. He was told he had today, Friday and Tuesday to get these things done. However today the principle tells him that no one wants to work on Tuesday so he MUST be there tomorrow to clear his room. The principle see no reason why we can not just change my 36 week appointment as 4 other teachers have been willing to change thier stuff to do a room check off tomorrow!! Well excuse the F*** out of me but we made this appointment weeks ago and no one told us that it needed to change until today! FYI his wife had a baby in Dec so it is not like he does not know how these things go...<br><br>
I am ticked at my hubby however because I was worried about something like this happening as this admin is very crappy and very last minute about several things... He assured me it was fine and now I am having a hard time believing that he really checked it out or stayed on top of it... UGH!!!<br><br>
I am really thinking about just going away for awhile, having the baby, and then maybe I will come back and see if things have calmed down <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
~Steph
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry your MIL bailed on you at the last minute. If she isn't supportive of a birth center birth then it's probably best not to bring her to the birth because she could bring negative energy. Does the birth center have any Doulas it works with? Or maybe a Doula in training? Maybe you could get a free or low-cost Doula who is not yet certified to attend the birth as an extra support person. From my experience the MWs in birth centers tend to be there most of the time so if you didn't have an extra support person I think you would be ok.<br><br>
I hope everything works out for you. It really stinks when you're in nesting mode and people go screwing up your plans!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Well I have a private MW and this birth center is free standing and belongs to the MW who will be assisting my MW. It is a small cute house that no one works out of unless it is a birth and only one birth at a time so no one but us will be there.<br>
I did ask about a doula, but the only one that works with the center charges 700.00 for her services and I do not even know her... I can not afford that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I can not seem to stop crying over all this... I feel really abandoned...
 

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I am so sorry! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> That all really sucks. I am sure if you tell your midwife that your MIL backed out on you at the last minute- that she will understand if you want to take a week and try to find another support person. I'm sure that the request the support person be there for the 36 week appt can be flexed in a situation like this- its probably just that the midwife really wants to meet the support person ahead of time, so the 37 week one should be fine too.<br><br>
I think your dh should let his principal know he can be at the school at whatever times around your appt he can do, and that he has to do your appt. Any sane job you can leave for an hour or 2 for something like that. I'm sorry he works in such a frustrating place- but you are very blessed that he won't be working when you go into labor- he'll be able to be home with you and baby this summer and that will be a beautiful blessing!!<br><br>
Try to take a warm bath and relax. It will all be OK. Really.
 

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Not in your due date club, so so sorry to intrude, but..<br><br><a href="http://www.bellywomen.net" target="_blank">www.bellywomen.net</a> is a site for women seeking free/low cost doulas and they have a whole database of them. If the birth center would allow an outside doula (honestly don't see why they wouldn't) then hopefully you could find a doula in your area for much less than $700.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Oh, honey, try to relax. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
I've been a total grump the past day or so. I like to think hormones are going wacky-wonko now, and it isn't all my fault. I think it totally stinks that your MIL and your husband's boss are acting like selfish poops, but probably it is making you more crazy than it must.<br><br>
I totally agree that, if you can find a (volunteer?) doula, they should be delighted to welcome her to your birth. Have you called your MW and expressed all of the angst you are sharing with us here? They know how being stressed out can be a negative for your labor. Your MW should be able to help you.<br><br>
Take care of yourself. It really, really will be okay.<br><br>
--willo
 

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If you wanna PM me with your location I can put up a post on the Doula board I am a member of and see if there are any reduced cost or free Doulas in your area. We always have a ton of Doulas awaiting certification that are willing to do births free or for very little money.
 

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oh, honey!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
all i can say it that blows and im sorry. the doula idea sounds like a good one and worth a shot <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thank you all.. I had my appointment at the birth center this morning and it went well.. My MW told me that the nice woman that did my birthing class is training to be a MW and said she would be glad to come to the birth and help me, plus it helps her get another birth on record... I REALLY liked her, she has had 6 babies naturally so I figure she must know something...lol<br>
So I feel better...<br>
On the MIL front she called and ask if we could all get together and talk tonight, we said yes so maybe we can get some understanding and healing...<br><br>
Willo~ I do think the hormones are making all this worse for me... I am so trying to stay calm and in charge, but I think I am losing...<br><br>
Thanks for the HUGS I really needed/need them...<br><br>
~Steph
 
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