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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I had planned on my dc 2, and 4 attending the birth. I arranged for one grandma to be with each one, etc.<br><br>
That may be falling apart on several levels and I dont know if I should just "go with it" or try to force the issue a little more... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
1. the grandmas arent very educated in natural childbirth and arent particularly interested in reading stuff. So I feel that they would have some nerves to deal with from the "weirdness" of it and the kids are certainly going to feel that.<br><br>
2. I remember in my last labor, needing everyone to SHUT UP when I had a ctx...that would be impossible with 2 kids in the room...Do you always need quiet? How did you manage with the kids at your birth?<br><br>
3. They have both told me they don't really want to be there.<br><br>
This stuff isnt hurting my feelings or anything major...but should I try to keep it "as planned?" or just kind of "let things happen?"<br><br>
What would you do?
 

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Well, I am going on the assuming that my kids sleep for around 11hrs a day and that is nearly half, so there is a good chance all or most of my labor will fall within that time frame. Here's hoping, eh? My DS is also in school, so that takes out a few more hours and leaves just DD. I plan on having 2 doulas plus DH, basically so there are enough extra people to focus on me and my kids if they need it. I will also try to have a sitter on hand, but we dont have a lot who are available in the daytime. Maybe I can send DD to the neighbor or something.<br><br>
Yeah, its tricky., Emtionally, I would love to share the experience with them, but realistically, I can see them annoying the heck out of me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I don't think this is something that you should persue, based on the reasons you gave.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">1. the grandmas arent very educated in natural childbirth and arent particularly interested in reading stuff. So I feel that they would have some nerves to deal with from the "weirdness" of it and the kids are certainly going to feel that.</td>
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Yes, kids pick up on the emotions around them. So you're not only likely to weird-out both grandmothers, but your children as well...leaving them with a bad experience of childbirth to carry with them.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">2. I remember in my last labor, needing everyone to SHUT UP when I had a ctx...that would be impossible with 2 kids in the room...Do you always need quiet? How did you manage with the kids at your birth?</td>
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Every birth is different, but there would be no way to keep my DS from being noisy when something as spectacular as a birth is occurring in the same room.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">3. They have both told me they don't really want to be there.</td>
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I think this one should be your red, flashing neon sign to not persue this any further. Granted, I don't know how far along you are, and they might have a 180 change of mindset, but if they don't want to be there...it's just going to be that much more difficult.
 

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Yeah, I wouldn't invite anyone to my birth if they didn't want to be there. Not only would I worry about what kind of anxiety they were sharing with the kids, I wouldn't want to be around their negativity myself, y/k?<br><br>
How about a doula to help with the kids?<br><br>
Could you have the grandmothers on call to come get the kids and take them somewhere else?
 

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I would definitely nix your current plans based on the reasons you gave. Wanting the kids to be quiet at certain times on a seconds notice would be very tricky. If you can get past that, it might still be worth considering having them present.<br><br>
Do you have any other relatives or family friends that would be better suited to supervise your children while you labor?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I have a friend who is very familiar with natural labor, etc. I opened my mouth and invited her to the birth...without asking dh.<br><br>
He is more private and he doesnt even know my friend so he said no. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Oh well.<br><br>
Maybe it will be so nice to have a peaceful and quiet little birth with just the 2 of us.
 

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i'd be most worried about grandmas. i'd be inhibited and worried about how their perceptions and reactions might colouor the experience for your children.<br><br>
i think if one is not worried about "grandmas" and performance in general, one is pretty much able to tune the noises out, so i wouldn't worry about the noise...<br><br>
but the combination of grandmas and children not wanting isn't a good one. what if the children change their minds? what if the grandmas prevent them from doing it because they are not comfortable themselves? too unpleasant and uncomfortable on many levels.<br><br>
can you have a doula or someone accepting of natural birth be with your children? i don't think they need a person each at this age.<br><br>
nothing works as planned, most of the time. i'd just let things happen. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 
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