[ConfusedPrincess]

I read a cute pregnant related joke today and thought I'd post it here since we're all preggers and anticipating our little ones. I know it's hard to be positive all the time when we're expecting so this could lighten things up and help us all to relax, smile and laugh our way into labor. If you have a funny joke(s) add it and let's keep this thread full of giggles

I couldn't help worrying about the quality of care at the local doctor's office. On a form titled "Some Questions for Our Pregnant Patients," the very first question was:
"1.Gender? (check one) M_ F_."

 

[LizaBear]

:

 

[juliansmom]

You know, I actually saw a thread in another pregnancy site's forum from a young gay man who wanted to know if it was medically possible for men to have babies!

The thread is no longer there (maybe the site administrators thought it was a joke), but the responses were hilarious: One person wrote, "I hope so. I'm a guy, and my wife says that unless I can be pregnant this time, we can't have another baby". Another commented, "Of course men can have babies...If you're a sea horse!"

 

[ConfusedPrincess]

laughup

 

[BlueIrises]

Do they have to be PG related? I have one that is not but I found very funny...

For anyone who needs a good laugh...

Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on her pillow.

I don't quite use a zillion body products but the woo-hoo is so my DH!!! Have a great day! Oh, and... woo-woo!!!

 

[ConfusedPrincess]

BlueIrises that was cute! A bit exaggerated for the women but typical for a man

 

[KrystalC]

I found it a little inaccurate! My husband doesn't shake his wiener at me, but he does moon me regularly, and if he's feeling particularly odd, he spanks his own butt!

 

[prettypixels]

I perpetually walk around the house naked... it's actually kind of a problem considering that we are remodelling and lately you never know who will show up at the door. (I don't particularly care if someone catches a glimpse of my naked butt hightailing it to the bedroom for clothes... my husband kinda does, but not too much!

) I have never understood the idea of being married to someone but yet embarrassed for them to see you nekkid... he is the closest person in the universe to me and knows me better than anyone inside and out!

I don't think he pees in the shower...but sometimes I do!

 

[ConfusedPrincess]

Quote:

Originally Posted by prettypixels I don't think he pees in the shower...but sometimes I do!

How's that wokring out for you? I've thought about it before since we shower together and he always does but idk I think I'd just get it all over my legs...my pee comes out at an angle its weird..

:

 

[juliansmom]

BlueIrises...I know that I do most of what's listed for the female version of your shower story. Yeah, I'm high maintenance, but I know I need to streamine very soon. I don't think the new baby will appreciate my 20 minute shower (minimum) ritual, so I am enjoying it now while I still can.

 

[momma2girls]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ConfusedPrincess How's that wokring out for you? I've thought about it before since we shower together and he always does but idk I think I'd just get it all over my legs...my pee comes out at an angle its weird.. :

You're washing it all off anyway aren't you?