[vermonttaylors]

My dh is away for 10 days, and things are going better than expected.....except for this morning. I am a yelling freak this morning! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> First thing down the stairs this morning, ds tipped the dog water all over the floor, and I lost it. Yelling "NO!" at the top of my lungs! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">: Even when I saw the frightened look in his eyes I kept yelling. Who does that to a baby??? Who would yell at a 17 month old that way for doing what is a natural, interesting thing to do? Pouring liquids is cool, we all like to do it!<br><br>
There's more. He took a small metal dog bowl and whacked our smallest oldest dog right on the noggin. Instead of dealing with it calmly, I was off and yelling again. Now, this particular dog is 17 years old and can't hear him coming, so I'm especially protective of her. But how is shrieking at ds going to help her in the future? UGH.<br><br>
I was doing so well the last couple of days. I am so dispirited with my innability to stay calm. I am seeking therapy and will soon start medication, I have chronic depression <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> , but I am so sad about my innability to do GD effectively when it matters. I awyas seem to freak out when it is the exact time to use GD or no discipline at all. Why punish him for spilling water for God's sake?<br><br>
I am not necessarily looking for advice, although it would be greatly appreciated, just needed some shoulders to lean on. I feel like a monster and this is SOOOOOO not the mom I want to be.

 

[ZanZansMommy]

Oh mama, rest assured we all have days/mornings like this. Being aware of your actions is key. I always apologize to DD when I get irrational & she gives me a hug (she's 21 mo old). Always makes me feel better. Don't be too hard on yourself. Parenting solo is very difficult imho. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">

 

[gribbit]

I think GD is not about always being the perfect parent. I think making mistakes and having bad days in some way is not always a bad thing, because both you and your child can learn from this. A lot of GD is about rupture and repair. Whats important is not that you yelled, but how you repaired the situation. I think explaining to your child (in a developemenatly appropriate way) that mommy is having a a bad day and that she should not have gotten so mad at him and that she is sorry will comfort him and hopefully teach him how he can deal with similar situations in his future. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a good mom. We are all human, and humans sometimes get angry even when they know its not the most rational thing to do. Its important that your son see that mommy is human too. Children do not benefit from having perfect parents ( as is if that is even possible..) because they need their parents to make mistakes and to model how to deal with those mistakes in a way that will make everybody grow.. Just my opinion, curious to see what others have to add..<br><br>
michelle

 

[rebeckyr]

I have had mornings like this - in fact last week I even spanked my daughter once when she kept kicking me getting dressed. I felt so bad.<br><br>
Honestly I think the only thing to do at that point is pull it together in another room by yourself - i wish I had done that last week. The reality was I had just gotten into a fight with DH (on the phone) and was so livid I couldn't keep calm with my daughter. Even now I just feel awful. I should have let her be while I gave myself a few minutes to calm down, but it's hard - I am always worried about being late, etc. I can't think of anything other than leaving the room for a few minutes though that works, at least for me.<br><br>
After my tantrum I immediately picked DD up (she is 2 1/2) and said sorry, mommy shouldn't spank and that was wrong. And gave her lots of hugs.

 

[maxwill129]

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<div style="font-style:italic;">After my tantrum I immediately picked DD up (she is 2 1/2) and said sorry, mommy shouldn't spank and that was wrong. And gave her lots of hugs.</div>
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That's great! I think it's really important to let kids know you realize when you make a mistake and to own up to it.<br><br>
Everyone else had great insight into this, too! I don't have anything else to add, just want you to know it sounds like you really are doing a great job with GD. We're not perfect as parents, and although we hate it when we make a mistake like this, it happens (trust me, I've made plenty of BIG ones, like spanking <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/guilty.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="guilty"> , etc.).<br><br>
Hang in there!<br><br>
Shannon

 

[Piglet68]

Who does these things? Stressed out mamas, that's who! Give yourself a big hug. We ALL have days like that. Doing it alone for 10 days??? That's rough! I think the most important thing is to be easy on yourself: yes, recognize that's not how you want to do things, but it's not about how "good" a mother you are. And apologizing to the kids is also a wonderful way to model what we do when we mess up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[AngelBee]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[Ruthla]

Hey, if this GD thing was easy, we wouldn't need this forum!! We'd all GD instinctively and there wouldn't be any child rearing books or websites at all!!<br><br>
We all make mistakes and lose our cool sometimes. It's part of being human. I think you should congratulate yourself on keeping your cool as long as you did, for recognizing that you were out of control, and for regaining control.

 

[vermonttaylors]

Thanks mamas! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br><br>
I must turn to this forum at least 10 times a day. Idon't know what I would do without you all. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">

 

[camotyka]

You have a shoulder here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Were all learning and traveling on the GD journey together. I'd be lying if I said I never have those days. We're only human <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.