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<p>For the third time in our 12 year marriage, I've had to ban dh from doing the laundry.  He temporarily complies with the bans, but apparently he decided he was in the clear and threw in another load last night.  I had put one of my courduroy dress jackets in the hamper because there was a stain on the back I needed to wash out, and he threw it in the washer and the dryer!  It's totally shrunk.  It's one of my favorite jackets, and I wear it constantly. </p>
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<p>I mean, when you're putting in t-shirts and underwear, and you come across a courduroy jacket, don't you pause for just one second and think that maybe all those different settings on the washing machine are there for a reason?  And it's not like it's a mystery - the care instructions are printed right there on the tag!  And plus, we've been through this before.  You would think that he would be paying extra attention since this is not the first time he's ruined something of mine.</p>
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<p>Arrrrrgggghhh!</p>
 

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<p>Yikes! </p>
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<p>I remember once when I was dating a guy in college I "helpfully" ironed the collar on his favorite shirt and burnt it to a crisp. So endearingly incompetent, right? <img alt="wink1.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/wink1.gif"> But yeah, I think if he had banned me from ironing his clothes after that I would have sheepishly complied. Sorry about your jacket -- I'd be bummed! </p>
 

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<p>Oh dear. I hope he finds a way to make it up to you!</p>
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<p>We just had that issue here. We JUST bought new fall placemats for our dining table. Our last ones got put in the dryer and shrank/deformed. I was doing laundry over the weekend and put the placemats in the washer with a load of laundry (placemats get washed in the washer then lay flat to dry). DP decided he would be helpful when I was busy and threw the laundry in the dryer. With the placemats. Doh! And another set down the drain....</p>
 

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<p>My dh has learned to not do any laundry at all unless I ask.  And I only ask him to put things into the washer if its already been sorted. Thankfully, he's quite happy to not do laundry and I'm quite happy to not have my clothes ruined.</p>
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<p>I did have to ban mil from doing laundry in my house.  She'd check the washer and dryer whenever she came over and start them.  Ruined several things before I had to tell her to stop. </p>
 

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<p>I sorta solved the problem.  I put all the stuff I feel needs special washing attention in a basket in my closet. Anything that is what I would term, "regular laundry," is in the hamper.  Now, this still won't keep dh from washing something in a temperature that is not what I would use or wash things like towels and clothes together ( I am a crazy separator), but nothing would be damaged if he did.  As long as I stay on top of the laundry, he doesn't feel the need to assist.  We sometimes run into issues during the summer when he is the primary care giver.  I do a lot of hiding laundry at that point. :bag</p>
 

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<p>DH doesn't do any laundry either, and he still manages to ruin a lot of stuff by leaving gum/chocolate/paper in his pockets. I even have presort hampers so that nothing gets washed in the wrong load, and he puts stuff in the wrong hampers (when he puts it in the hampers instead of on the floor, that is). And then after everything is all folded, he'll go fishing around in the basket and unfold everything in the process.</p>
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<p>Can you tell I'm bitter about our laundry situation?</p>
 

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<p>But placemats in a hidden laundry hamper?</p>
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<p>There is a REASON why there are separate bins, with differently colored clothing in each.</p>
<p>There is a REASON why the kitchen wash is on the floor next to the washer, while other towels and linens are CLEAR ACROSS THE LARGE LAUNDRY ROOM in a COMPLETELY SEPARATE PILE.</p>
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<p>Another one here with a DH who has fouled up the laundry this week. Beautiful red holiday placemats, washed with all the other kitchen and household laundry. Not only is everything stained pink ("I'll soak it all and wash it again for you."), but the 3 mats that were washed are now warped out of shape. And orange, compared with their set-mates, which remain a rich red and nicely rectangular, with straight edges.</p>
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<p>AARUGH.</p>
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<p>And the sad part is, he counts this 'help' toward his household helping. "I do the laundry. I do the bills. I do..." BUT NOT WHEN YOU SCREW IT UP AND IT HAS TO BE REDONE!</p>
 

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<p>EVERY TIME my DH does laundry he does not check his pockets and a stray tissue ends up in the wash, leaving little linty bits all over EVERYTHING!!!  I do not do his laundry anymore and he is not allowed to touch mine or the kids.  Period.</p>
 

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<p>Me Too!</p>
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<p>It baffles me how an otherwise capable and intelligent man can be so clueless with the laundry (in the kitchen too, but that's another post.)</p>
<p>DH was banned from the laundry early in our marriage after ruining several things.</p>
 

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In my family I am the one most likely to mess up the laundry. I solved the "special needs" laundry issue, though. Instead of trowing delicates or special needs laundry in the dark or light hamper I got a separate basket for it. That way no mistakes happen. if it is in the 'special" basket everyone knows to read the label first!
 

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<p>My dh sorts just fine, but he dries everything, whereas most of my clothes are hung to dry (I hate when stuff shrinks and/or fades). However dh rarely does the family laundry since he decided to do his own laundry and keep it separate from everyone else's. I suppose I should feel bad because the reason he did it was because I was always so behind and he could never find anything of his :bag.  But secretly, I'm happy I don't have to do it  ;)</p>
 

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<p>Most guys are clueless when it comes to laundry.Its nice that they are helpful but they are clueless <span><img alt="ROTFLMAO.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif"></span> I guess you have to teach them.</p>
 

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<p>If he was banned from doing laundry, what compelled him to do it recently?</p>
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<p>I mean, a guy doesn't really have to be begged to NOT do laundry, right?</p>
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<p>The only options I can think of are:</p>
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<p>- You were behind and he was running out of clothes</p>
<p>- He had a specific item he needed quickly (gym shorts, whatever)</p>
<p>- He thought it would be nice of him to do it for you</p>
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<p>You should find out which it was and solve that issue. For example, if you are getting behind on the laundry or if he needs a specific item, he is permitted to run a load but HE CANNOT WASH ANYBODY'S CLOTHES BUT HIS. So that gives him a solution he can work with.</p>
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<p>For the "thought it would be nice" there's just nothing to be done except to express, AGAIN, that it's not nice and will not be appreciated. At all. And if he wanted to be nice, here is a list of things you would love, starting with fixing the light, cleaning the toilet, putting the garbage out... etc.</p>
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<p>The only reason I am not joining in on the misery is because I have no clothes to ruin. Or my DH would ruin them. I don't wear colors that bleed, I don't wear special fabrics, nothing. Jeans. Polyester shirts. Polyester socks, all white and I don't care if they turn gray. Laundry is my job but DH will throw a load in if I'm getting behind. Actually, now that I think of it, he DOES ruin some things - DD's dressup clothes. Since they often are laying around on the floor (believe me, I try to ensure she puts them away) he'll "helpfully" scoop them up and toss them without a thought into the laundry basket even though they are not dirty and are too fragile to wash (due to their extreme cheapness). Sigh.</p>
 

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<p>Oh my, I can relate. </p>
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<p>After several incidents where DH thought he would be helpful and ruined (truly ruined) my work clothing, he royally f-ed up and shrunk a load of my wool and cashmere sweaters.  I burst into tears, I just reached a breaking point and broke down.  That was the last time he touched a washer or dryer.  It may have been put in writing. </p>
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<p>It is just one of those things in our house, he is banned from laundry.  If forced to do his own and only his own, he would (and did) take it to the cleaners and spend $200 a month to have it professional done.</p>
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<p>laohaire poses a great question - what would cause a non-laundry man to just suddenly spring into laundry action?  Who knows, my DH couldn't explain his actions and believe me, I tried (too hard) to force him to evaluate his actions.    </p>
 

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<p>We do not throw special wash clothes in general wash because anyone with good intentions can make a mistake. We have accidentally set stains in my dh chef coats this way :( We have 2 special care 'spots" mine is on top of my dresser were I put office clothes, panty hose, et. DH is on a book shelf. We had baskets but we gave them up to the cats, LOL. His special wash clothes cannot be washed with mine. But if he doesn't have a full load he can wash general clothes with his.</p>
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<p>If I saw corduroy in the wash, I would think they are jeans. I guess my kids corduroy stuff are "preshrunk" they are washed as normal. Actually, I don't think I have ever had corduroy shrink on me. So I would have tossed it in and washed as regular.</p>
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<p>I will wash clothes that may bleed with a wash cloth the first time to see if they do or not. If it is something that I don't doubt will I will treat it and special wash it until it doesn't bleed anymore. Special care goes in special spot, for the treatment it needs. </p>
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<p>I blame the problem on men not having the selection of clothes women do. There are less options and less need for special care.  My dh didn't become a spot expert until he became a chef. </p>
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<p>I may be the only dissent but if he has only messed up 3 times in the last 12 years on laundry, I think that is a pretty good track record..........maybe because it beats mine. $40 chef coat plus embordering $60.  I did it 3 times in 1 year.  My dh did it twice before we got a better system.  </p>
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<p>As for the poster mentioning her dress up clothes.....natural consequense is they get ruined. It could be by the dog, cat, foot, just as well as the wash. We went through this phase, had a few tears, but they learned.</p>
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<p>My DH does his own laundry.  Sometimes the towels.  Sometimes I do towels.  </p>
 

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<p>My dh hasn't done laundry for 10 years. It isn't a ban I imposed but I think he fears messing up. I think to some people laundry is that complicated.</p>
 

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<p>My husband is quite capable of doing laundry well.  And does so when necessary.  It's not a mystery.  And it's not a man thing.  He also does 100% of any ironing that manages to get done. </p>
 

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<p>DH isn't allowed to touch my laundry b/c he thinks everything can go in the same load.  Who cares if your white socks and undies end up dingy?  No one sees them.  I CARE!  He also doesn't check tags so delicate items get washed with jeans *shudder* He also overloads the machine.  This is all b/c laundry was something ridiculous, like $5 a load in college, so he would just throw everything in one load.  You'd think after being out of college for 4 years he'd stop thinking "must cram all clothes in one load", but nope.</p>
 

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<p>I actually like doing the laundry.  Everyone puts away their own things when I'm done.  I like getting out stains, pretreating, everything.  I'm picky about water temps, whats hung to dry, how quickly the towels go from washer to dryer, etc.  I make a pile for everyone and when I say its all done they get their pile and put it away.  So for my dh he'd be ruining my fun if he helped</p>
 
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