[girlndocs]

OK so as I have mentioned before, DH's complete lack of communications/parenting skills and extremely adversarial, powerstruggling relationship with Ds is having a huge negative impact on our family in general.

We just had yet another episode of him reacting defensively and turning some little thing into a huge power struggle, ending in Ds having a big tantrum and me losing it and screaming because I can't freaking take it any more.

I need something to slap down in front of him, something easy-to-read that will hit him in the gut and make him think about the way he's stomping down on Ds. Something that illustrates clearly how saying "This is going to stop" isn't enough to make a 6-year-old stop. He's not going to absorb anything long or involved unless he's already interested. There are a lot of recommendations floating around here, and I've read some of them myself but I can't think of one that would be particularly good for this.

 

[maya44]

"The Secret of Parenting by Anthony Wolf"

DH's love the subtitle "How to be in charge of kids today..." and AP mama's can live with it because of the remainder "...without punishment, threats or rewards"

It is EASY to read. Even has little cartoons. It is FUNNY!

Its all about NO power struggles. Its about how kids are supposed to act and about how grownups are supposed to act.

It tells you when you should listen to your child, and how to actively listen. And DH's often love that part because Wolf calls it "kind of silly" but says it works, which my DH respected alot more than the "drivel" (his words) in "How to talk so kids will listen..."

It is the best read out there for someone who is not GD, becuase it is NOT touchy-feely ala Sears.

 

[Piglet68]

I liked Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon. dumb name for a book, but its a sper easy read, spoken to people who might not necessarily be gd inclined.

i also liked wolf's book.

 

[NoHiddenFees]

Most men I know get a panicked look about them when told to "get inside the child's head" like in most GD tomes. Secret of Parenting is pretty much free of such advice and full of helpful examples.