[Harmony96]

I'm not sure what a happy medium would be or what I'm doing wrong. One of the misconceptions about EC is that you have to watch your LO 24/7 and then rush them to the potty whenever they start to pee/poop. Who has time for that, right? Especially with other LOs around.

I'm only doing EC part-time, usually by timing, but even that is sometimes way off. Like today, I had about 5-6 wet diapers, and I offered the potty about as many times and twice, he went in the potty pretty quickly but the other 4-5 times, he would just sit there forever and not do anything. For the past few months (we started ECing when he was 6 weeks old), I would cue when I noticed him peeing AND whenever I offered him the potty.

As for signals, I don't know what they are or how to read him. When I think he is giving a signal, I'll offer him the potty, and he'll just do nothing. If we have a miss where I notice it too late to give him the cue sound, then I just go ahead and change him and offer him the potty again and talk to him about how I will notice him better next time and let him go in the potty and stuff.

He's starting to get too heavy and wiggly for me to hold over the big potty indefinitely while I wait for him to go or not, and I haven't bought my coveted clear potty yet (I WANT one, lol) and can't tell when he goes in the BBLP, either by sight or sound, so sometimes my cue sounds are meaningless there. Like maybe I'll cue him 3 times before he goes and 5 times after he goes b/c I didn't notice AS he was going.

So.... my question boils down to... should I just "start over" from here? Like just watch him for when he goes and ONLY make the cue sound then, and do that for a few days and then try to start offering the potty again? But then if I do that, won't it mean the dreaded "24/7 hover"?

I really want him to learn that my cue = go ahead and potty, but thought that he'd start to "get it" more than this by now. BTW, my offerings are at times where he needs to go, b/c 5 minutes later, he'll go in his diaper.

 

[hrsmom]

Have you already been told that going five minutes later is very common, and considered a good developmental sign? I think most babies go through that stage. I don't recall that my baby ever really peed exactly when I cued her, she may have a few times. Many times when I knew she would go, if she didn't, I'd lay her down on a towel or blanket and wait for her to go. I don't know if that would work in your situation or not!

 

[Harmony96]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hrsmom Have you already been told that going five minutes later is very common, and considered a good developmental sign?

Yes, but it's not an all the time thing that he does. Sometimes I'll offer and he won't go for a long time, so I was way wrong in guessing that he needed to go. If it's a good developmental sign, wouldn't he be doing it pretty frequently?

 

[physmom]

Ok, I guess, take this with a grain of salt since we started DD at 9 months so her communication skills were more developed. However, we initially just put her on when we KNEW she had to pee (first seconds after waking or nursing). That was it. Then, once she got used to the idea she started signaling on her own (she'd go to the bathroom door, do the potty sign, grab her diaper, etc). Now I can ask her if she has to pee or not and she'll tell me yes or no. We never hovered or even timed EC. I do put her on normally when I have to go potty because then she can watch and I'm in there anyways but that's it.

I guess, the one exception would be when I know she's going to poop (she poops about every other day now and normally before she sleeps). If I think she might I'll put her on the potty more because she doesn't tell me ahead of time with poop like she does when she has to pee.

 

[hrsmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harmony96 Yes, but it's not an all the time thing that he does. Sometimes I'll offer and he won't go for a long time, so I was way wrong in guessing that he needed to go. If it's a good developmental sign, wouldn't he be doing it pretty frequently?

I'm not sure! I don't remember that she did it all the time, just some times! The development isn't linear, of course!

ETA: If I remember correctly, my LO mostly did that at night, when she was tired. Maybe your LO is doing this at times when he's tired, or thinking about something else, or who knows?

 

[BlackSheepPDX]

I viewed a "cue" (sound and sign) as much as indication that she should potty as an indication she WAS pottying. The point is to get THEM to realize what they're doing and when they have a need to do it so they can communicate to you that they need help, not to develop a Pavlovian response. We were full time CDers, and started EC at 4.5 months. We did timing and offering for pees, and could usually figure out when she was going to poo, especially when she got a little older and quite infrequent about it. We definitely did NOT just hover 24/7. We really had to give ourselves permission that it was ok to have misses, because we started to get really obsessed and beat ourselves up about not catching things. It wasn't good for anyone. I am a firm believer that EC is about communication, and that consistent communication doesn't mean 100% perfect all the time. Whatever we did worked, as DD was a grad at 18 months.