Recognize any of these symptoms (long!)

yes, we have been thinking about the autism spectrum - in particular, pdd-nos b/c i don't think that ds fits the asperger's category - alternatively, he could have a speech disorder - he's very social with certain adults - it's like he hasn't figured out that kids are just as much fun as adults! admittedly, ds has a few "quirks", although he doesn't hand flap incessantly - to me, his pronoun reversal is the most glaring of quirks because it can result in a lot of confusion when talking to someone (eg. approaching someone named "nick", ds will declare "i am nick"....confusing to someone who doesn't know about the pronoun reversal) - we don't really care too much about the label, we just want to figure out the best way to help ds with his speech issues and find the best learning style for him... i just wanted to hear about whether anyone recognized the traits and, if so, then what their experience has been, what progress in social skills development has been made, etc. i also want to know whether any children have made the leap from parallel play to interactive play with other children - ds has always taken his time to do things and i'm wondering if the social skills may come in time (based on someone's particular experience). i suppose that i'm looking for some encouragement. my dh and i have both said that we wouldn't change anything about ds (he's a great little guy) - we just worry about him when it comes to school (it would be nice for him to have a pal) and we obviously want him to sort out the pronouns!!

My ds is almost a year older than yours. When he started preschool last year, he didn't interact with kids his own age. Now he will play with them a bit. He won't initiate it but he does reciprocate when he is sought out. He has been in a special day preschool class with kids just a bit younger and maybe 1/4 of them were on the spectrum. His speech was really bad and he wasn't really testable for them when evaluated so that is why he was in that class. It turned out being a great class for him. It gave him a ton of confidence and a place where the kids were at his level. My ds pronoun use became better after he turned 4 but he is in speech therapy and a speech intense class. I do think a lot of it is just natural progression. Some kids just do need a little more time. If you have no other real issues, I wouldn't worry.

Well, he sounds a lot like my dd, too. She will be 5 in July. She is NOT diagnosed on the spectrum; it has been all but ruled out. However, her development and quirks have been somewhat parallel to spectrum kids in many areas. But, she has traits that counter the dx (very creative imaginative play, sense of humor, stuff like that) and is growing out of some of the more asd traits.

What she has going on is unknown, so I can't help you there. I'd love to have someone tell me that their kid was just like her and know how they turned out. She has had partial diagnosises of anxiety, some kind of processing disorder, possible sensory problems (which have become more apparent as her language has come in), receptive and expressive language delay (although her vocabulary is ahead of age group now). Basically, though, her development has been peculiar overall.

However, other than the disposition (she is not at all calm and tantrum could be her middle name) and hand flapping, everything else describes her last year or even now. She is just transitioning out of parallel play during the second half of this school year. She started with her younger brother and will occasionally play with another child her age with assistance. She benefits from speech therapy and lots of social exposure through school, camp, outings, playgroups.

Thanks for the responses.

We are looking into a private speech therapist and are awaiting a spot in a public program (a developmental ped., speech therapist, child psych. and ot all work together to come up with diagnosis (if applicable) and program - the wait is 8 months to a year!!!!

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't worry about ds' mental health - That being said, we make an effort to let ds do everything in his own stride - we are trying to instill a sense of self-confidence (through support and encouragement) and hope that this will get him through any social hurdles that he will likely face in school.

Any ideas on what has worked re social skills would be great - We are trying our best to model social skills and simply expose him to a lot of kids - He is very observant, hopefully his observations will translate through one day!

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A competent neurospych and a clinical psychologist with nld experience, in our case.

As for social skills/coping--there is a lot of information at nldline.com and nldontheweb.org . With these kiddos, remember to verbalize *everything* and break it down into small chunks of information. I have had some luck with the Model Me Kids dvd's and we also participate in a social skills class hosted by a local SLP practice. It's an daily adventure and we are learning new things each day...

I hope I'm not stepping where I shouldn't, but I wanted to tell you that my DD talked JUST like your child for a long time, till she turned 3 and all of her disordered language just completely went away. I mean, completely gone, and it had been really bad. I used to be very worried about it because she sounded so autistic in her speech (albeit while speaking like a much older child in many ways). She also prefers adults to children--although she likes OLDER children--and used to hand-flap. We also suspect mild sensory issues, and she also was very precocious in learning letters, etc. This:

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Is something she still does, a LOT.

She was evaluated at two and they said she was not ASD. I know one eval doesn't mean everything, but they were very clear that her social skills were not those of an ASD child. She's very social and outgoing with adults. She also is very imaginative and does tons of pretend play. Also, I used to worry about her apparent lack of emotional understanding, but it turned out that this just came later than average for her. She has it now, and I no longer worry.

I personally think she is a quirky, gifted child with some sensory issues--possibly in a very gray area at the very end of the spectrum. I also think that some children learn to speak that way, for whatever reason. And I *also* think that some kids just develop differently, for whatever reason. I don't mean to discourage you from seeking professional assistance, but I want to tell you that I think it's more complicated than it sometimes looks.

ETA: I think that *I* have a mild form of NVLD. Interesting. I don't think DD can have it, though, even though some of it sounds like her.