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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We were planning on wrapping up some toys dd1 has LONG outgrown and using them as Christmas and 1st birthday presents for dd2. We have so many toys that it would be a waste to buy any new ones, IMO.

However, sibling rivalry has REALLY set in, now that dd2 is crawling and getting into all of dd1's current toys. So....

Will Dd1 remember that those toys used to ber hers?
If she does, is it terrible of us to give them to dd2, even though dd1 doesn't play with them anymore?

I think dd1 is still too young to ask about all of this. If she were a year older, I'd explain everything to her. But this year I'm worried that all she'll see is us giving some of her toys away (evern though she hasn't played with them in months and months).

We don't have a lot of money, so I don't want to go buying dd1 a bunch of stuff! We have REALLY nice toys sitting in the closet, untouched!

WWYD?

Thanks for all input!
 

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Hi, My younger dd is Sage also!

Right before Sage was born we packed up some of Maia's baby type toys, Sage is getting them for Christmas. They have been packed away for 5 months now so I am hoping she doesn't remember them. If she does say something I think I will tell her she is right, when she was a baby she had a toy(s) just like this, isn't great that she can show Sage how to play with them!
 

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We do recycle toys with our kids. Ds is 4 years older that dd so that helped provide enough distance. Another thing you can try is setting up a "store" and allow her to pick out things to "buy" to give to her sibling. It might be easiest to start this game with something non-controversial like clothes and move on to toys. My dd has a much better memory and awareness of what's missing than my ds ever did; so it could be that personality plays into their attachments. If "giving" seems too tough for her, you might also try teaching her to "loan". Start out by asking her if you can borrow a certain book or toy for yourself. Do this more often and for longer times. And start requesting for your other child too. "I think the baby would love to borrow this toy for a while" might work.
 

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dd is 3y and 5m, and i just got out her old baby toys out of storage, and she remembered them eagerly.


personally, i would not give her old toys AS GIFTS, certainly not without her knowledge. if she were to give them as gifts, it is a different story.

a tiny simple book we read (got it out of goodwill, actually) is called Big Sarah's Little Boots (http://www.umanitoba.ca/cm/cmarchive...ahsboots.html). it is nothing exceptinal, but cutea nd gentle, and i bet there are many books with similar message. at the end of the book, the mother suggests Sarah gives her old boots to her brother, and the brother is so excited that Sarah gives them to him.

Since then, Ada has been talking about giving her things to Max, when she outgrows them.


she is also very keen on wrapping things, so for months now she wraps gifts for Max (his own toys
) and gives them to him. so maybe you could have a game like this, slowly transitioning to an actual gift.

also, i do not think that at this age it is important to wrap a toy for christmas, kwim? if the toys are out, and both of them are playing with them, it is all that matter. we are planning to give Max a couple of wrapped puzzles and a book, and all ada's old toys are just out for them to play with.

if rivarly is an issue, i would avoid anything that can provoke it, espcially giving old toys as gifts.

what about getting the toys out, talking to dd1 about how much she loved them, asking her whether she still wanted to play with them, or if she wanyed to show them to dd2?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mommyto3girls
Hi, My younger dd is Sage also!

Right before Sage was born we packed up some of Maia's baby type toys, Sage is getting them for Christmas. They have been packed away for 5 months now so I am hoping she doesn't remember them. If she does say something I think I will tell her she is right, when she was a baby she had a toy(s) just like this, isn't great that she can show Sage how to play with them!
5 m? be careful!
dd remembers things from over a year ago, seriously.
 

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My dd still remembers a blanket that got lost 3 years ago (when she was 2)and asks about it sometimes. She has many nice blankets... she picked out a new blanket. That doesn't mean she forgot the old one at all. She has a long memory for her things.

Maybe your dd doesn't have as long of a memory. You could give it a try but
I wouldn't bet on the older child not remembering her toys especially if there is sibling rivalry involved. I don't know about giving the toys as gifts without some kind of discussion/agreement with the older child. That might get unpleasant.
 

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I wouldn't do it as a gift. Your children are young enough that they won't be "counting" presents yet. So maybe get the little one a book or inexpensive doll for her to unwrap. She won't be left out and if you are careful it won't break the bank. It isn't that I think your idea WILL go bad, but it has the potential. And I think that would be hard to reverse.

I would definitely recycle the toys though, just not as gifts. Bring out one or two and see how your older one responds. If it is difficult for her, work on that. If not, bring them out at your own pace and leave it at that.

Amy
 

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Dd has alot of things that were ds's when he was a baby/toddler. He does remember many of them. I had made sure that they were put away long befor the dd was born. Now that she is old enough to be into toys, I've been bringing them out. I've told ds that these are our baby toys (ours as in the whole family) when you were a baby you played with them, now they are Mia's and if we ever have any other babies in the family they will play with them to.

A agree that giving them as gifts, aspecialy at Christmas, might be setting yourself up for a problem though.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks for all the responses.

I think we will get one or two inexpensive new things for Sage (Alex is getting a million, but I don't think Sage will comprehend too much this year since she'll only be 9 months old). The rest of the toys I will bring out as she is ready for them, and I'll ask Alex if she wouldn't mind if Sage plays with them. I think the potential for hurt feelings is too great now -- Alex is really getting upset at her sister these days for...well,...existing.

I appreciate all the replies!
 
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