[kati_kati]

Hi - I could use some ideas and advice about what to do... My 14 mo DS has some developmental delays and refuses solid food. He is pretty much exclusively breastfeeding. He has had some solid foods (purees) in the past, but has been refusing for the last 3 weeks again. He nurses great and he's in the 50th percentile for height weight. His gross motor skills are at about the 9-10 month level, and fine motor is at about 6-7 months (he has trouble picking things up and is very selective about what he picks up).

We let him play with food, sit down with him at meals, offer food... but he doesn't want to eat it and bats everything away. I can nurse him just fine but it is really hard to get him to take a bottle so everyone else is feeling especially frustrated and it makes it hard for me to be away from him. He will chew/suck on frozen things in a mesh feeder occasionally but that doesn't really count as eating since he doesn't get much of it.

I'm feeling a lot of pressure from the developmental specialists who say he has to learn to eat solids. Some have hinted that I should stop breastfeeding on demand, which I do not want to do because it doesn't make sense to me. Part of me wonders if it will just come with time since he's delayed on motor skills overall, 6-9 months is about when he would start solids anyway. The funny thing is that when he does eat, he eats just fine. For a few weeks in Feb/Mar he ate 2-4 oz of pureed food 2-3 times a day, no gagging nothing. So he _can_ eat, but he now refuses.

Any ideas? Is this just his way of saying he doesn't need any solids nutritionally? Or is he refusing because it's scary for him and he's not in control? We try to let him hold the spoon and play with the food, but he doesn't want to put it in his mouth very often at all and even then sometimes doesn't swallow it. Maybe when his fine motor skills develop enough, he will eat?

I've seen people at MDC say that babies should not be fed solids until they can pick it up and eat it themselves. So should I be waiting for that, even if he's so delayed? Or will it cause longer term feeding issues if he doesn't learn to eat now?

Sorry so long... any advice on what to do would be great.

Thanks!
Kati

(I think I'll cross post in breastfeeding...)

 

[HarperRose]

Kati, I encourage you NOT to stop nursing.

My dd (7 yrs old now) nursed until 2y 9m because of her moderate-severe sensory processing disorder. Her SPD was not diagnosed until a few months ago. If I had known then that her reason for refusing solids (mostly, and extremely picky about what she would eat) was because of her SPD, I would have been much more gentle w/ weaning (I quit cold turkey one afternoon because I couldn't take it anymore) and probably would have nursed for some time longer than I did.

Breastmilk is the only real nutrition your baby is getting. Taking it away from him is tantamount to starvation and NOT the best way to answer his needs.

Trust your instincts on this and don't let the docs or therapists sway you away from that.

 

[JessSC]

I totally agree with the above poster! Please don't stop nursing unless you feel like its best!

I weaned my ASD child at 27 months because the pediatrician assured me he'd eat food if we stopped nursing. He didn't. His oral defensiveness and sensory issues prohibited him from eating anything but pancakes. When I saw a SN nutritionist, she said the only reason he looked as good as he did (even with his low weight and height) was because of our extended nursing. He'll be 4 next week and he is finally eating a decent amount of nutritional food. Its definitely a process!

 

[Momma Aimee]

for what little is is worth

Theo is 3.5 and we susp;ect SPD .. assessment on June 5.

He took NO FOOD till amost 2 and is still very se,f-limted in diet.

he was EBF till 15 months, I got preggo and we started to try to get him to take a sipply "in case" .. he refused till 18 months -- then he accepted goat milk in sipply (never, oddly, MM).

He remained milk fed -- mine and goat then cow -- untill after his 2nd birthday. (He self weaned at 3 .. he did a nurseing strike for a while -- a few weeks -- before i had the baby).

just a BTDT sstory.

I would NOT ever allow ANYONE to talk me into weaning.

Theo is really a compassionate boy and he and i have a wondful bond and i am really able to "get inside" and help him with his emotional overload and his anxiety and so on -- i really say family bed (still in my bed at 3.5) and CLW breastfeeding are two of the biggest reasons (that and baby wearing).

keep feeding you baby -- the food refusal may be a "flag" of something else .. or it may not. if it IS then you wil really glad you keep the BF going for physsical as well as emotional reasons.

 

[AbbieB]

My DS has developmental delays. I found that his interest in solids seems to be about on par with his developmental age. At 14 months we were were you are, just eating a few things occasionally. Now at 19 months he is not only eating everything he is grabbing the fork from me to feed himself. He just this month began drinking water from a sippy cup.

He is breastfed on demand.

Although I know not everyone would agree with my choice, both my kids did a lot of solid food learning with Cheerios. I swear that is the only solid they would reliably eat for 2 months straight. I still offered other things but they were not always interested. But self feeding Cheerios was never turned down. Then one day they wanted to eat what I was having at every meal and there was no looking back.

 

[KimPM]

Here's another voice encouraging you to continue nursing. Like some of the PP's my son has SPD and did not eat until after 2 yers old. Before that, he was pretty much gagging and spitting out anything other than thin liquids. I was often told to wean him so he'd start eating. However, I found that only AFTER he started being able to eat enough food (through lots of feeding therapy) was when he started to wean himself.

Also - I've heard the advice to wait until they can pick the food up themselves, but I think that applies to typically developing children (who are generally inclined to want to eat food). Sometimes SN children need a little help or encouragement to even be around the food and touch the food, let alone to eat it. I found that play-based (NOT behavior-based) feeding therapy worked well for my son. I think that if he had not had that feeding therapy, as well as other therapy to encourage him touching non-food textures that he wasn't touching, well he probably wouldn't be eating any solid food today.

"Or is he refusing because it's scary for him and he's not in control? We try to let him hold the spoon and play with the food, but he doesn't want to put it in his mouth very often at all and even then sometimes doesn't swallow it. Maybe when his fine motor skills develop enough, he will eat?"

It sounds like this could be the case. Or...he could also have sensory issues. Or a combination of the two. Plus, it could be scary if he feels he can't properly control the spoon. He could also have oral motor issues affecting how he eats. My DS also had some of that going on. The oral motor issues were the first thing the feeding therapist addressed (she was also an SLP, so she really knows about the mechanics of the mouth action on food). I think my DS gained some confidence after she addressed those, so something like that can easily lead to reluctance to eat. Complicating everything, my son has a personality where he is very reluctant on anything new, be it feeding or socially or playing, whatever. I have figured this out now and can see it in hindsight. So another part of my DS's problem was his general tendency to be reluctant about anything new. As you can see, it can be a multi-layer problem you're dealing with. I think it's helpful to address each one in what you perceive as the proper order as best you can figure out. Have you tried any foods that don't require a spoon and that you think he could handle? Like...a soft banana, or a piece of avocado? (Strangely enough, we had to start with hard foods, because the texture of soft things just gives DS the heebie-jeebies. I'm not necessarily recommending this for you, unless you've already got a therapist helping, because if he's developmentally not ready to eat hard foods he could choke. It was pretty scary for me, even with a therapist.)

 

[Momma Aimee]

note: Theodore is 3.5 adn we are waiting on an offical DX of SPD

to this day -- we have to work on "allowing food in his area" (not on his plate .... then on his plate ... then he MIGHT touch it .... then he MIGHT put it to his mouth ...and then he MIGHT try a bite ....

the process has to go on for EACH and every new food and each step can take 10 to 20 "trys" if not more.

We dont "talk it" we jsut do it. I put the food near him, then i mive it closer next time and so on ... and evetually HE will touch ir and eventaully ,..... I can not, nor can anyone else, suggest it or discuss it or he gets very freaked adn we are back and try on no matter how far along we were.

learned that "process from a OT -- also read about food chaining, which only kinds works for us ...

Also Theo ONLY eats alone or when he is not noticed. CAN NOT sit at that table evenwith Daddy -- gettingto where he can with me and brother only. eats alone ... while i am cooking and thus "not watching" .. or in teh car seat .. or alone at the table while i am in the living room (all one big room, but he feels alone and no one is interaction with him).

I leave food out for him all the time, he eats like acat -- when you are not looking.

can not eay if you talk about it with him -- too "much".

just a few thoughts.

Aimee

 

[mandcc96]

I have a close friend who's daughter wouldn't eat solids. She nursed fine but would choke and cough on anything that was offered other than the breast. Turned out to be a laryngeal cleft. Her specialists said that her daughter obviously knew what was ok for her and what wasn't ... they've continued to say that baby will only do what is safe. Does your son have any choking issues?

 

[Momma Aimee]

queencarr is an excellent source re: swallow tests and eating issues too

Aimee

 

[bandgeek]

My son was not/is not delayed, but he didn't eat solids in any significant amount until 15 months. He ate so little at 2 years that when I got pregnant and my supply dropped he got super skinny, super fast. I had to work with him to get him to gain. He had reflux and gagging/choking/puking issues, which, if I'd known better, would have gotten him evaluated, but I didn't. Most of those those issues resolved eventually and he still struggles a bit and we ARE getting him evaluated in June.

Personally, I would continue to nurse on demand and just take your time with the solids. If they can't find a *physical* reason for him to struggle with taking them, it may just be that he's not ready. And as long as he's growing fine, I wouldn't be concerned about nutrition.

 

[kati_kati]

Thank you ALL so much for your advice, stories, encouragement and for answering my questions! I am not planning to wean anytime soon at all and thank you for giving me confidence to continue despite what the "professionals" may say...

The OT is starting to think he has some sensory issues, but I can't figure them out and neither can she. He generally likes touching things, but sometimes he recoils or becomes hesitant and gets tense. She suggested a body brushing regime. We'll see. It definitely is a multi-layer problem to figure out...

There has been some progress in the last week I guess. (Amazing how things can change in short time.) He is still into sucking/chewing on the mesh feeder and now I can put frozen apple sauce in there and he likes that. I got 'veggie sticks' (like potato chips but in french fry shape) from Trader Joes and he grabs them and munches on them!! Crazy! He doesn't have pincer grasp yet so small things are hard but long skinny things are good. I'm trying to find other things he can pick up and safely swallow. The veggie sticks dissolve in his mouth. I gave him frozen bread and he grabbed that too but didn't know what to do when he got chunks in his mouth. Same with banana or steamed broccoli which he tried to munch but kind of gagged on. He didn't want to pick up an avocado slice for some reason. So I think we need to stick to dissolvable or soft stuff for now. His OT is happy he is doing this much. When he's in the mood he will chew on a spoon even if there is food on it (like oatmeal, and swallow it) but he won't accept a spoon to be fed like normal... so it does seem like wants to do it himself!

I don't think he has any choking issues in general. For the few weeks when he was taking solids (mush) he had no problems swallowing.

That's the update from here... I would love ideas on other munchables that dissolve, and any other ideas you all have!

 

[Momma Aimee]

theo had all same food issues --had to disolove in his mouth, had to bite size, had to be dry / crunchy ..

I used Toddler Gerber foods -- the "crunchers" are STILL a BIG hit here at 3.5. the puffs were a life saver -- the first thing he would self feed and also he loved them (and very portable).

I would suggest trying some of them.

Aimee