Mothering Forum banner
1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,611 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello...

I'll try* to make this story short and get to my question! =)

I was having horrible back problems while BFing. I have bad back and between the weight of my breast (which become huge when BFing) and carrying my babe around I was getting to be unable to function. I started weaning pretty early. by 6 mos she was weaned. she is now 11 mos. and I'm trying to relactate...

I know you're probably thinking that I'm crazy. But my daughter has some issues with food (we dont yet know the reasons) but she has many allergies and is ALWAYS sick. I feel like perhaps if she has some BM it would atleats give her some nutrition... I am a HUGE advocate of BM and it took a lot for me to wean. I've never felt peace either way.

I *think* I could relactate to some extent b/c when I pump I get very tingly like letdown and I feel swollen and when think about BFing I just get that almost let down feeling you know what I mean? and I can see beads of milk on my nipples after pumping (no drips though)

BUT... I CAN'T get her the least bit interested in latching. when I give her the boob she thinks it's a game and laughs and bites hard to see mommy wince in pain. and I've tried every LLL and LC trick in the book. (trust me) my daughter is VERY high needs and very independant. she has no desire to nurse nor be confined to sitting for any length of time (she's even an awful bottle feeder! the grazer type)

After 2 weeks of pumping, I am going to try an SNS tomorrow. I figured I'd give it a shot. I tried the pump but I can't make enough milk without her latching (none really) and she wont latch b/c she doesnt know what the heck I'm doing sticking my boobs in her mouth! I figured this way she's relate my boob to milk (hopefully)

my concerns: what if I actually DO begin to relactate... what if my boobs get huge again? and I have to wean again from pain? Will I AGAIN be judged? will I feel a failure? Will I be able to XBF? Will I ever be able to enjoy BFing like everyone else.. I NEVER enjoyed it. I suffered thru every second of it with both children and I'm so envious of others! I HYPERLACTATE and every "trick" I've ried to counteract this has had very minimal effect.

If I dont have sucess will I be able to just put it behind me... I don't want to always feel like a failure.

Anyone who suffered with long term Hyperlactation or who's relactated after a long period of time (or from scratch) please give me advice, suggestions, comments, wisdom... a kick in the butt, whatever! I just need to hear from someone else who's been here!

thanks!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,100 Posts
I haven't been there, but I wish I could help. I wanted to give you a big
for even trying, and let you know that you're NOT a failure. Any mama who TRIES to do the best for her kiddos is NEVER a failure. Perhaps if you are able to relactate (I'm sure someone will be along with some good advice on that soon) you could look into having a special bra made for you that would help with the back pain? Anyways,
and hope you get some good advice!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Hi there,

I relactated after weaning DD - it took me a good couple of months of double pumping 6-8 times a day in combination with taking domperidone to get some of my supply back (about 21 oz per day) Like you - my daughter wouldn't latch back on and I knew that was so important in order to get my supply really going again - I tried everything from SNS to nipple shields filled with milk to get her started...everything. The only time she would ever latch back on to any degree was when she would have her last bottle at night and fall asleep on me - I would then substitute the bottle for boob (with a nipple shield, so that it was the same texture) and she would suckle for a little while whilst she was dozy. It felt like I was tricking her back on the breast - but the suckling really helped with getting my supply back up and some nights she would suckle for almost an hour or so.

If your DD takes to suckling to sleep, you could then try to get her to suckle when she is still dozy from waking - I didnt ever try this because I ended up getting so stressed out and felt rejected by DD every time she didn't want to BF (silly I know!)

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Dee
x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,995 Posts
Just wanted to give you a
for trying! Also, just a thought...have you discussed pain management meds for night use only (so they're out of BM in the AM) so that you might be able to better deal w/ pain? I have back issues and even after reduction, my BF breasts cause problems...when it gets too bad, I take a muscle relaxer b/c DS sleeps through the night (and most are relatively okay while nursing in small quantities). Just a thought!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,611 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by pumpkinsmama
just wondering how it went?

well before I begin: I promised myself I would NOT feel like a failure if it didnt work out. But I do.

so... no it didn't go well. Eva is a typcial high needs stubborn baby. she flat out refused the breasts completely and totally. I tried evry trick in the book. everything you can think of. time.. patience. prayer! I really thought the SNS would work. even though i told myself not to get my hopes up, when I realize it was not working out I just cried and cried and cried somemore. She is just too clever and could not be fooled.

I considered just expressing into a bottle for her... but I came across a major problem: I could not afford the pump nor the rental... argh. I feel like I just ran head on into everywall.

so finally my husband just (as well as few other friends) said I needed to finally give myself permission to move on. to let go. I was becoming too resentful towards my DD b/c she was rejecting me and it was showing.

I still feel like a failure. I try to psych myself out about how much I loved her that I was willing to give up something I wanted so much... blah blah blah. but in my own head all I ever think is "if I had just tried a little harder..."

My boobs were definately making the milk. I could feel it. they tingled when I fed her bottles and everything. I think that's what frisrates me the most. I know it was there and she was there and I just could not get it form me to her.

thanks for asking, though. It actually helped to write all this out
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top