[Chronic Chrissy]

No flames please.
DD's 11 months old. We had a well established bf relationship with good supply. I had a nasty bout of PPd where I needed to separate myself from DD a little more so I wouldn't have a breakdown. She eat solids really good(child led introdutions) and gets most of her nurishment from that by choice. I started to offer her bottles during the day over the past 6 weeks. Now she mainly breastfeeds if she wakes once or twice during the night(she nurses for about 30 minutes though), and has three bottles before sleeping. Two 2 ounce bottles and one 4 oz bottle.

Well we have a camping trip coming up for the end of July and I would really like to increase my production enough so 5that I can5 exclusi5vel5y 5brea5stf5eed for 5the 5trip. I don't want to cut the bottles right out just yet because it is summer hot and we are out all the time so I don't want DD to be without for the time it takes to get my milk back in. So I've been offereing her about 3 times a day and she nurses on both sides but is usually left wanting more. This is why I don't ant to replace the bottles yet because she fights her sleep and it is so hard to put her down, so I don't want to make it harder because she is hungry.

What I really want to know is whether or not it is realistic to be back to breastfeeding by the end of july, and also I'd like to know more about increasing production again, at during the day(night there is lots of milk there). Also Would it be harder on DD if I took the bottles right out and lived with it for a while, how long would that be.

Please educate me I really want to understand how it all works, and within what timeline.

Thanks in advance.

 

[alegna]

There is no set timeline. I would try going right to no bottles since she is nursing some.

-Angela

 

[CathMac]

Sorry about the PPD but I want to commend you on doing your best to balance your needs with DC's. After all, you need to take care of yourself to be able to take care of anyone else well.

I think your goal is realistic but I don't have any concrete advice on how to achieve it. I think it's something you'll need to feel your way through. Perhaps someone with relevant experience can chime in.

If you do cut back on the bottles are you able to do a "baby moon" where you basically just bunker down with the baby for as long as possible, somewhere between a weekend or a long weekend?

Also, I hope those "feel good" nursing hormones kick into overdrive for you.
~Cath

 

[Chronic Chrissy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CathMac Sorry about the PPD but I want to commend you on doing your best to balance your needs with DC's. After all, you need to take care of yourself to be able to take care of anyone else well. I think your goal is realistic but I don't have any concrete advice on how to achieve it. I think it's something you'll need to feel your way through. Perhaps someone with relevant experience can chime in. If you do cut back on the bottles are you able to do a "baby moon" where you basically just bunker down with the baby for as long as possible, somewhere between a weekend or a long weekend? Also, I hope those "feel good" nursing hormones kick into overdrive for you. ~Cath

The PPd was a result of DD's conditioned attachment, not natural attachment, and pretty much me bottling everything up till I fell apart. One big melt down, a few smaller ones to follow and it is pretty much under control now.

As for the baby moon, I'm home all the time and have been for the 11 months. Plus DH works his whole 40 hours friday-sunday, so we're on our own quite often.

I really wanted to comment towards the "feel good breastfeeding horomones"
Everyone thinks that most moms experience these, but I don't, and never have. Actually quite the opposite feeling occures. It's not like I hate breast feeding and let that spew from me, but only because I grit my teeth and said "this is best for DD, suck it up and put on a face on so you don't drive DD away from the breast" So I'm pretty good at masking my feelings while breast feeding but what I'm really feeling, when I break my spell of meditation is....
Well...
First off I can't wait for DD to be done. I don't stop her or discourage her, but I just can't wait for it to stop.
Second I feel very anxious. Wow this really isn't working at all(trying to explain how nothing about breastfeeding is enjoyable for me from my personal point of veiw(see even that comes out wrong))
At first I thought it was just adjusting time to breastfeeding, it really came quite easily to us and naturally, but the feelings were always there. For the first 8-9 months It was very mild(but still no "happy feelings"), after that I felt like a dog who nips her puppies away, even though I never did and suppressed that.
(OK now I NEED to get this down for my own sake to identify and vocalize what's going on, even though it has little to do with the OP)
I don't like the physical feeling of breastfeeding. I completely understand that there is nothing sexual about it, I'd like to say that first. But I was a very sexual person wheen it came to my breasts and so was my husband. It was something we enjoyed very much. BF is not supposed to be sexual, it is supposed to be bonding. It's not sexual, it's not bonding for me(for her it is). Physically it is not a latch issue nothing is wrong but I really don't like the feeling.
Then there is the emotional feeling. It floods as soon as she starts through my whole body. It's sofocating, and constricting, like I just want to break away, and go do anything else but that. I feel so over touched, and clinged to that I can't wait to not be touching her. In bed I can't wait to roll over and get away to my own space.
This only happens during bf. When I'm not bf I love to cuddle and play and romp around and give her all of my loving undivided attention. I wear her everywere for hours. She can poke and prode and explore my whole body even my breasts(I don't like cloths and have no problem with nudity or exposure even in public), so long as I'm not bf.
Once bf starts I redirct my thoughts away from my negitive feelings and suppress them with light meditation or alternate concentration to distract me. But lip and lose that grip and I just want to stick a bottle of formula in her mouth. I can pump too but the pump feels different so I just sit there and pump, none of those feelings. I just can't help it I feel like my body iis screaming at me now(even though I had mild feelings like this in the begining, it is now very dastic and started suddenly with no trigger other than natural time prgression)to stop.
DD is fond of boobs and thinks they all give milk(it's really cute), we don't have to push the bottles, and she'll even choiose a bottle or sippy cup over the breast at times. Most of her nutrition she does get from solids. Even at night she is just as happy to get a bottle but I'm too lazy and if I can slip back to sleep then she can eat all she wants without me noticing.

I really just wanted to say this for my sake and to let moms know that not everyone experiences positive feelings while breastfeeding, and that there is a drive for the mother to wean at certain ages. My body is saying no more, but my brain sees past that to the benifits. The urge gets stronger though and has been getting stronger since the first jump at about 9 months. The time will come when I will know I should continue bf but will say no just because my body will drive me crazy. I can easily see myself turning away my hungry crying baby just like a dog or animal, and it really makes me sad because I know the treuth but feel the uncontrolable urge creeping up and one day my body will take over and do what it wants.

 

[Penelope]

I'm sorry about your struggles with PPD and with your mixed feelings about breastfeeding. I applaud your persistance and your goal to increase your supply for the camping trip!

I haven't btdt, but my intuition would be to cut out bottles and offer the breast as often as possible.

Good luck!

 

[kathteach]

Are you planning on eating lactogenic foods like oatmeal and taking herbs? More Milk Plus was a good one for me. Those might help. Good luck Chrissy.

 

[CathMac]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chronic Chrissy ... I really wanted to comment towards the "feel good breastfeeding horomones" Everyone thinks that most moms experience these, but I don't, and never have. Actually quite the opposite feeling occurs. It's not like I hate breast feeding and let that spew from me, but only because I grit my teeth and said "this is best for DD, suck it up and put on a face on so you don't drive DD away from the breast" So I'm pretty good at masking my feelings while breast feeding but what I'm really feeling, when I break my spell of meditation is.... Well... First off I can't wait for DD to be done. I don't stop her or discourage her, but I just can't wait for it to stop. Second I feel very anxious. Wow this really isn't working at all(trying to explain how nothing about breastfeeding is enjoyable for me from my personal point of veiw(see even that comes out wrong) ... I really just wanted to say this for my sake and to let moms know that not everyone experiences positive feelings while breastfeeding, and that there is a drive for the mother to wean at certain ages. ... I can easily see myself turning away my hungry crying baby just like a dog or animal, and it really makes me sad because I know the treuth but feel the uncontrolable urge creeping up and one day my body will take over and do what it wants.

Chronic Chrissy,
I really want to commend you for hanging in there as best you can, as long as you can, while balancing both of your needs. And while I don't have the issues that you do I have seen posts similar to yours before and I think it's important for other Moms to know that they aren't alone.

I threw the "feel good hormones" comment in there because prior to pregnancy and motherhood I had a tendency towards the blues (which is a little euphemistic) and as challenging as nursing is I really think those hormones minimized those tendencies. I suppose I should be nervous about what will happen when we are done.

At least you've got meditation but having used Hypnobabies for my second delivery I recognize that those sorts of techniques are hard work. As unrealistic as this sounds I'll try to have a good thought, as the saying goes, that things get better for you and that you'll find a way to navigate this as gently as possible for the both of you.
~Cath

 

[Chronic Chrissy]

Thanks ladies.
I'm signing off for the summer after tonight, Enjoy your summer.