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<p>This happens every holiday... and I feel I either need to adjust my definition or feel that I am right! My MIL labels herself, her new husband, her three adult children and their spouse and children as THE immediate family. This bothers me on many levels, first it suggests that dh, myself and our dc are not an immediate family unless we include her and the rest of people mentioned. However, her definition does not include her sister and brothers.... This is an issue because at Thanksgiving it was very confusing as to who was or was not going to attend (for how much food to bring). MIL said "oh, it will just be the immediate family". SO WHY is it that my dh needs to consider his siblings still as his immediate family, yet MIL can choose to not consider her siblings part of THE immediate family. MY definition is that our household in our immediate family and everyone else is extended family and/or distant relatives. I feel that I am at an age and stage in my life where I am entitled to not have to be apart of some other mothers immediate family....</p>
 

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<p>I would say that your immediate fam is you, dh, & dc.  You MIL's immediate fam is her, her spouse, and MAYBE her kids (I kinda think it's sweet that she thinks of them that way, but, yeah, they've grown up & moved out.) no one else.  There is no THE immediate fam - each household has their own.  ;)</p>
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<p>Your MIL is confusing people.  She should just say who is coming instead of trying to label it.  I would clarify each time so you know for sure & maybe mention that it is confusing.  Or, if you keep clarifying enough, maybe she'll change the way she speaks!</p>
 

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<p>Dictionary.com defines "immediate family" as:</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span id="user_hotword" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">one's</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">parents,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">step-parents,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">siblings,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">spouse,</span><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">children,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">step-children,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">foster</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">children,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">in-laws,</span><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">sibling</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">in-laws,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">grandparents,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">great</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">grandparents,</span><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">step-great</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">grandparents,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">grandchildren,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">aunts,</span><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">uncles,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">nieces,</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">and</span> <span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;color:rgb(51,51,51);line-height:1.25em;margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;background-color:transparent;">nephews</span></p>
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<p>Businessdictionary.com defines it as:</p>
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<p>Spouse, parents and grand parents, <a href="http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/child.html" style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;color:rgb(2,83,183);" target="_blank">children</a> and grand children, brothers and sisters, mother in <a href="http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/law.html" style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;color:rgb(2,83,183);" target="_blank">law</a> and father in law, brothers in law and sisters in law, daughters in law and sons in law. Adopted and step <a href="http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/member.html" style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;color:rgb(2,83,183);" target="_blank">members</a> are also included in immediate family. See also <a href="http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/first-degree-relative.html" style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;color:rgb(2,83,183);" target="_blank">first degree relative</a>.</p>
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<p>So it looks to me like the term isn't relative...it's actually just a wide term. It seems to me your MIL is using it to refer to her spouse, children+spouse, and grandchildren as her immediate family. Knowing she uses this term in this manner should clear up the air for you on that front, but you can quietly snark to yourself that she's using the term incorrectly. I think the term for referring to people who live with you is "your household." </p>
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<p>My family runs into this problem often, since it is large and exceeds 100 members in what can be considered "immediate" so when including specific families within the "family" first and last names are often used. such as the "John Smith family, the David Smith family, etc."</p>
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<p>Eh, since you know what she means when she says it, it doesn't really matter if she's being perfectly accurate or not. I think it's okay if the term is fluid, and if when your MIL says it, it means one group of people and when you say it, it means a different group of people. </p>
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<p>I forgot to quote it, but in your OP you said this: "MY definition is that our household in our immediate family and everyone else is extended family and/or distant relatives."</p>
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<p>While I agree to some extent, I could never bring myself to call my own mother a "distant relative." </p>
 

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<p>I use the term interchangeably depending on context. I'm either referring to my household, or my mother, father, brother, sisters and their households.</p>
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<p>ETA: I think technically it would be correct either way.</p>
 

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<p>I never really thought about it actually. When I say immediate family, I mean the people I share a living space with and see on a daily basis. DH + Kids. If I mean either my parents or DHs parents and step parents, I say so. If I mean my brothers and sisters or DHs brothers and sisters, I say so. I don't think I really call them anything, other than by their last names--"We're going to to get together with all the R.'s on the 28th." But that's convenience purely because I have two brothers whose wives took on their last names so they all have the same last name on my side. And DHs parents are divorced and neither set nor his siblings live near each other, so I don't think we ever really talk about them as a group, we call them by their family groups--"Dad and D." "Mom and M." Extended family means the whole mess of relatives beyond parents, step parents, in laws, brothers and sisters. </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>limabean</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284594/relative-term-rant#post_16105685"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Eh, since you know what she means when she says it, it doesn't really matter if she's being perfectly accurate or not. I think it's okay if the term is fluid, and if when your MIL says it, it means one group of people and when you say it, it means a different group of people. </p>
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<p>I forgot to quote it, but in your OP you said this: "MY definition is that our household in our immediate family and everyone else is extended family and/or distant relatives."</p>
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<p>While I agree to some extent, I could never bring myself to call my own mother a "distant relative." </p>
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As someone who considers her immediate family to be DH and DD, I think I can answer - she didn't mean her mother was a distant relative but extended family. You just jumped to distant relative for some reason.</p>
 

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<p>I use is to refer to people related in the 1st degree to me: my parents, my sisters, my spouse, my kids.  However, MY immediate family and MIL or mom's immediate family would be different.  I worked with a clinic for military personnel, and there definition was praents & siblings if you were unmarried, and spouse & children if you were married.  (It was defined b/c servicemen/women were automatically granted emergency leave for life-threatening illness or death of immediate family only.)</p>
 

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<p>Immediate family to me would be my parents, siblings, children and spouse.  Extended family would be in-laws, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles  Distant family would be great aunts, second cousins, etc.</p>
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<p>I don't think it would bother me at all if someone used the term differently though. </p>
 

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<p>It seems like she is saying it to deifne "her" family and you feel like/ know that she is excluding you or doesnt take you and your immediate family seriously. I personally think that HER immediate family is her spouse, her kids, her brothers and sisters, and her grandchildren. Inlaws should be included. I think pretty much everyone that a hospital would let into icu is "immediate family- siblings, chlidren, parents, grandchildren. No uncles or aunts or cousins or friends.</p>
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<p>But basically, it sounds like she is still pretty hung up on it being her and her kids as "immediate family", which would annoy me because it pretty much means she doesnt think your DH is grown enough to have is own family. (MY MIL does this so, sorry if im projecting)</p>
 

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<p>When I'm trying to use the terms precisely, to clarify something or to differentiate, I refer to my parents and siblings as my "family of origin" and my dh and our kids as my "immediate family". Aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces, etc. are my extended family. When I'm being less careful/precise, I say "immediate family" to indicate my household <em>and</em> my family of origin.</p>
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<p>I'm pretty sure that my mom considers me and my siblings to be her immediate family, as well...not sure about our various spouses and children...</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Marsupialmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284594/relative-term-rant#post_16106180"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I happen to agree with your MIL....I am wondering if there is underlaying issues. </p>
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<br><br><p>:nod</p>
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<p>Also - not just a question for the op, but in general - I wonder how people will feel when they are the grandmother?  I know that I plan on being crazy about my grandchildren, I hope my daughters in law don't try and put uneccessary distance between us.  Especially over semantics. </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Adaline'sMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284594/relative-term-rant#post_16106423"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>It seems like she is saying it to deifne "her" family and you feel like/ know that she is excluding you or doesnt take you and your immediate family seriously. I personally think that HER immediate family is her spouse, her kids, her brothers and sisters, and her grandchildren. Inlaws should be included. I think pretty much everyone that a hospital would let into icu is "immediate family- siblings, chlidren, parents, grandchildren. No uncles or aunts or cousins or friends.</p>
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<p><strong>But basically, it sounds like she is still pretty hung up on it being her and her kids as "immediate family", which would annoy me because it pretty much means she doesnt think your DH is grown enough to have is own family. (MY MIL does this so, sorry if im projecting)</strong></p>
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or maybe it's not so sinister.  Maybe she is thinking its a n easy catch all term. </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>laohaire</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284594/relative-term-rant#post_16105827"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>As someone who considers her immediate family to be DH and DD, I think I can answer - she didn't mean her mother was a distant relative but extended family. You just jumped to distant relative for some reason.</p>
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Oh, I thought the OP was saying that she uses the terms "extended family" and "distant relative" interchangeably for all family members who don't live in her household. Even so, I don't use the term "extended family" when talking about my mother either, although it's probably not inaccurate. I might say something like "family of origin," but DH and I usually say "my family" and "your family" as shorthand when speaking of our/each other's families of origin, despite the fact that we consider the two of us and our children to be our "immediate family." No one gets offended by our shorthand as far as I'm aware. </p>
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<p>My point, though, was just that as long as the <em>meaning</em> is understood (which it sounds like it is in the OP's case) I don't see a reason to be annoyed by the terminology's potential inaccuracy. </p>
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<p>ETA: Thinking about it, I've been annoyed by stuff I really had no reason to, so I shouldn't really tell the OP how to feel -- if you're annoyed, OP, there's nothing wrong with that. I get annoyed when my MIL says, "Thanks for [DS and DD]," even though there's nothing really technically wrong with saying that. It just bugs me. So your MIL using the term "immediate family" bugs you. It's not something that would bug me, but I guess I can see the potential for annoyance. </p>
 

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Discussion Starter #17
<p>OP here... yes this may be a petty issue to even waste my brain cells being annoyed about. But I feel that MIL uses terms to "keep me in line", let me KNOW how it is.... that she is "the head of the family". It all started.....at dh and my wedding. After the ceremony she was making a big deal about wanting a new family photo to put on the mantel..... so dh and I go over to where she was trying to get people situated, and I was told in front of many guests "oh, not you(me), just our family". Since then, things have been very uncomfortable w/ MIL. Thanks goodness, dh doesn't really care for her company and we spend very little time w/ her, except the holidays and b-days etc. I guess on a plus side I am included in her now definition of immediate family because I birthed her gran children?? or maybe because she knows deep down that if she ever made dh choose, he would not choose her feelings over mine. But my original question was WHY or IS IT ok that she is allowed to define w/o being corrected that "the immediate family" only includes her new hd, adult children and their spouses/dc, yet leaves out her siblings.... then why would she think her adult dc would call their sibling immediate family when MIL doesn't consider hers to be... is it an age thing? is mid 30's not old enough to be an adult? Does everyone older than you have to die, to finally be an adult w/ you OWN family? </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>jeteaa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284594/relative-term-rant#post_16107258"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>It all started.....at dh and my wedding. After the ceremony she was making a big deal about wanting a new family photo to put on the mantel..... so dh and I go over to where she was trying to get people situated, and I was told in front of many guests "oh, not you(me), just our family". </p>
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<p>Wow! I would be extra attentive to her phrasing after something like this too. Holy crap. <br><br><span>Quote:</span></p>
<div class="quote-block" style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:3px;padding-right:3px;padding-bottom:3px;padding-left:3px;border-top-width:1px;border-right-width:1px;border-bottom-width:1px;border-left-width:1px;border-top-style:solid;border-right-style:solid;border-bottom-style:solid;border-left-style:solid;border-top-color:rgb(217,218,216);border-right-color:rgb(217,218,216);border-bottom-color:rgb(217,218,216);border-left-color:rgb(217,218,216);background-color:rgb(234,235,233);">Originally Posted by <strong style="font-style:normal;font-weight:bold;">jeteaa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284594/relative-term-rant#post_16107258" style="color:rgb(96,73,154);"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-top-width:0px;border-right-width:0px;border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;border-top-style:solid;border-right-style:solid;border-bottom-style:solid;border-left-style:solid;"></a><br>
But my original question was WHY or IS IT ok that she is allowed to define w/o being corrected that "the immediate family" only includes her new hd, adult children and their spouses/dc, yet leaves out her siblings.... then why would she think her adult dc would call their sibling immediate family when MIL doesn't consider hers to be...</div>
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<p>She's just not thinking about whether she's being perfectly non-contradictory in her phrasing. That's who she considers to be her immediate family: herself, her spouse, her kids/kids-in-law, and her grandkids. Again, I don't find that so unusual (and I don't know when the shift from considering your own siblings in that occurs), but in light of her antics at your wedding (and, presumably, more stuff like that in the interim) I can see why it bugs you. </p>
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<p>ETA: Is it her use of the word "the" that bothers you? That she refers to it as "the" immediate family, like it's the only one? When she says that, I would just substitute that word in your mind for "my," as thought she's saying, "My immediate family will be there." Those people, in her mind, are <em>her</em> immediate family. <em>Your</em> immediate family is different. </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>jeteaa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284594/relative-term-rant#post_16107258"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>OP here... yes this may be a petty issue to even waste my brain cells being annoyed about. But I feel that MIL uses terms to "keep me in line", let me KNOW how it is.... that she is "the head of the family". It all started.....at dh and my wedding. After the ceremony she was making a big deal about wanting a new family photo to put on the mantel..... so dh and I go over to where she was trying to get people situated, and I was told in front of many guests "oh, not you(me), just our family". Since then, things have been very uncomfortable w/ MIL. Thanks goodness, dh doesn't really care for her company and we spend very little time w/ her, except the holidays and b-days etc. I guess on a plus side I am included in her now definition of immediate family because I birthed her gran children?? or maybe because she knows deep down that if she ever made dh choose, he would not choose her feelings over mine. But my original question was WHY or IS IT ok that she is allowed to define w/o being corrected that "the immediate family" only includes her new hd, adult children and their spouses/dc, yet leaves out her siblings.... then why would she think her adult dc would call their sibling immediate family when MIL doesn't consider hers to be... is it an age thing? is mid 30's not old enough to be an adult? Does everyone older than you have to die, to finally be an adult w/ you OWN family? </p>
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<br><p>Did you borrow my MIL. I hear things like, "Our family," "Just the main family", "the original family", ect all the time. Once she even discussed going on vacation with "her family", meaning my DH and her DD. Umm...no, you arent taking my DH across the country for "family vacation" and leaving me and my DD at home. NO. I assumed when you married someone, you became their family and they became yours. I know in my situation it stems from the fact that my MIL has NO respect for marriage, because she had 2 nasty divorces and she has the "blood is thicker than water" mentality. I have no advice for what you should do when she says these things other than to not engage. Engaging will only further her opinion that you are seperate from "her" family.</p>
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<p>BTW, im totally with you on the fact that it is super weird that <em>her</em> adult children should consider themselves immediate family, but she does not include her own brothers and sisters as a part of her immediate family. To me, my immediate family includes: Mom, Stepdad, brother, 3 sisters, Dad, Stepmom, MIL, SIL, DH, and DD. None of my siblings are married, but if they were, I would consider them immediate as well.</p>
 

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<p>When I've used the term immediate family, it means I'm referring to a person who is directly related to me: my cousins, my aunts and uncles, my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, my nieces and nephews. This does not include a relative's relative, i.e. my husband's parents, my cousins's children, my parents' aunts and uncles and cousins. All of those I would call extended family because I have to go through another person to explain my relation to them, it's not direct to me.</p>
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<p>So if a person tells me they are inviting their immediate family, I would assume it is people the inviter is directly related to.</p>
 
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