[2happymamas]

What role does religion play in your lives? I was very involved in the church for a few years...went to something almost every night of the week. DP went to Catholic grade school and high school. She also graduated from a Catholic college. However, it has been 10 years since I have been to a church service and almost 15 for her. She feels shunned and unwelcome in the Catholic church b/c the church regards homosexuality as a sin. We have been giving serious consideration to returning to church. DP does not want to switch religions, but said she would possibly consider the Episcopal Church. We do not have children yet, but plan to TTC in two years. DP would love to have our children attend Catholic schools. From our conversations about future children attending Catholic schools has come the desire and realization that we would like to return to church.

How many of you attend organized servcies? For those of you who do, what have been your experiences as a person who is gay or bi? We do not want to go somewhere to be told we are going to hell b/c we love each other.

 

[canadianchick]

My daughter and I started going to a Unitarian Universalist church about a year ago. I am not really a religious person but I haven't had much luck finding a partner and I am tired of the "bar scene". So I had heard good things about this church and thought we would give it a try. We were welcomed with open arms. It's an awesome place. There is a rainbow flag hanging in the church!

: There are many other gay/lesbian singles and couples who attend. They also have support groups centered about gay/lesbian relationships. They include many different religions in the services. They also have a Sunday program for kids which my daughter enjoys. I am still looking for that special gal but having fun in the meantime....

 

[jgreer]

I have never been religious. I am spiritual, but not religious in the strictest sense because I have issues with the hypocrisy of organized religion (don't mean to offend anyone, that's just my view).

My DP was VERY religious in high school/early adulthood. She ran youth groups and all kinds of church activities.

When she separated from her husband, and he started airing their business all over their relatively small town (specically that she was attracted to women), all of her 'friends' at church instantly dropped her. Most would not even return phone calls.

I ask you, is that a very Christian thing to do? What happened to love thy neighbor?

Anway, I digress. She was very hurt by the whole thing. As a result her view of organized religion has changed drastically.

She is still very religious (I feel), but doesn't attend church - partly because she was working on Sundays, but mostly because of her experience.

Since she moved to CA to be with me, she has talked about finding a more accepting church to attend, and I told her that if she wanted to go, I would go with her (even considering my views of organized religion). She just hasn't done the research yet to find one.

We haven't discussed how we want religion to play a part in our future child or children's lives (we'll be TTC next May). But, I'm sure we'll talk about it now

Greer

 

[Diane B]

This might not be much help to you, but I was raised Lutheran and my partner is Jewish, but not religious. We belong to a small Buddhist community, and are raising our daughter with these teachings. We are hoping our community will be able to sponsor more children and family programs in the next few years, but if not, there are a couple of other options in town that we will check out, and in the mean time, we do a lot with her at home.

There are GLBT friendly churches in most denominations - I don't know how big of a city you are in, but there's a couple of Catholic parishes in our town that get into regular trouble with the Archdiocese for welcoming gay and lesbian members, letting women serve at mass, etc. Many denominations have some kind of program that lets you know if a congregation is positive toward GLBT folks - for Lutherans, it's called "Welcoming Congregations" - and I used to go to a Unitarian Church, which was also tremendously welcoming. Good luck!

 

[DejaSu]

I just started attending our local Unitarian Universalist church and LOVE it. I'm taking their summer adult ed. class to learn more about this open and welcoming religion.

They support and welcome the LGBT community and from the first time I went there, I've been open. When they asked how I found out about the church, I told them I'd heard about it through the local LGBt support group.

I was raised Catholic but could never go back now that I've "seen the other side"....church CAN be a welcoming place, non-judgemental, and I'm very glad my child(ren) will be raised in such a loving community.

Good luck!

 

[Curious Me]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jd_kl What role does religion play in your lives? How many of you attend organized servcies? For those of you who do, what have been your experiences as a person who is gay or bi? We do not want to go somewhere to be told we are going to hell b/c we love each other.

I am an atheist so religion doesn't play a role in my life. First and foremost, I answer to the person in the mirror and I have pretty high standards for myself. I find it particularly odd when people worship a "god" or way of life (whatever their religion may be) which denounces and abhors same sex love, among other things.

Simply answering the question folks, let's not get into the "Is there a god?" debate.

 

[Faerieshadow]

My family attends a metropolitan community church. It is a church specifically for the GLBT community. Our pastor is female with a partner of about 35 years... our particular church draws in people from about 60 miles out, although it has a relatively small congregation in comparison to most churches. It is a wonderful place to go with uplifting messages of God's love for everyone. I felt extremely welcomed into this community - we first joined while I was pregnant, and about a month later they threw a huge surprise baby shower that most of the congregation attended! I was floored by that kind of welcome.

 

[Kincaid]

Another Unitarian Universalist here

My partner was raised Catholic, now lax. She's attended UU services with me twice and I have to say she despised it. So much for us attending as a family

She just doesn't "get" it. Doesn't think it qualifies as church since they don't talk about God at all.

There are welcoming Catholic congregations around here, even those that include a LGBT group. But I can't get her to go to those either. She would rather sleep in while I get up with baby. Aaagh. We do want our son to possibly attend catholic primary school. So someone needs to start going!

I've been to a Metropolitan Community Church and if you are looking for a Christian-based church (God and Jesus) with a good dose of gay thrown in, then check it out. If you are looking for that traditional, bible-centered, Jesus prayer kind of service you won't find that at a UU church but would at a MCC church.

 

[lunadoula]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kincaid So much for us attending as a family

I hear you on this one. My DW and I were both raised Catholic. I am a lay member of an order of radical nuns (there are out lesbian nuns, and nuns arrested at peace protests!) and we were even married by a nun, and spirituality is really important to me. DW is still struggling with anger against organized religion. We have attended some Pagan events together and I loved them but Catholocism is kind of like a cultural part of me. I would love it if we could attend together (there are really really liberal churches in our city) but she isn't interested at this point, and I respect that. I like to go to Quaker meetings too sometimes. I like a bit of everything, but the nuns are my "home base" so to speak. :LOL

 

[quiltpucks]

Religion is important to both me and DP. I was raised Catholic, but because of it's teachings, I can't bring myself to even step foot in a Catholic church. DP was raised baptist, and for the same reasons, she left too.

We attended a local MCC for a while, but then it started going in a direction we didn't want to go (new leaders) so we left. We went a few years trying to find the right church. We found one about six months ago that we love. It is a methodist church, but we joke because there is a huge lesbian (with kids) population within the congregation. It's been good for us to have a place that we feel very comfortable.

 

[mamimapster]

Hey great thread!
Well, we're VERY active religious/liberal Jews. We met in our Shule (synagogue), my DP was one of the Co-presidents there, we also got married there, (two of the four major Jewish denominations endorse/perform/suppport same-sex marriage) our DD had her baby naming there, we keep Kosher home, celebrate holidays etc. I worked for the shule part-time for a year after our DD was born. Yes, it is a MOSTLY GLBT synagogue, but as we have traveled around the country and attended progressive synagogues of different denomiations we have never felt ostracized of mistreated in any way. Is it possibly because we are out from moment 1 as a family? We are also very jewishly knowlegable and that comes through right away. Before visiting a synagogue we always call ahead to speak to someone about their programming/whether they are egalitarian/etc. This was a lesson we learned the hard way when we wanted to go to the progressive GLBT friendly synagogue in London, which has a great and very learned Lesbian Rabbi. We happened to show up on the ONE morning per quarter when there were no services in the space they shared with a Unitarian church

Parts of my family of origin are Catholic/Episcopalian, and I also have some very close friends who are Catholic & are very fustrated by what is going on right now in the CC. I also have nothing but great things to say about Unitarians, as an organization they have always been very warm & friendly towards GLBT folk (in fact my Shule shared space with a Unitarian Church for 20 some odd years).

Edited 'cause I can't spell!

 

[eamama]

I also take ds to a UU congregation. We started to go because I was feeling a bit isolated and I really like their inclusive and outward-looking philosophy. They also seem to love children, since there is often a children's book read during the service.

We have yet to become members and only go about once per month, but for a single, queer mom with an outgoing kid, I couldn't think of a better place to explore spirituality and giving back to others.

 

[DejaSu]

Here's a quiz to show you which religions you might "fit" best into.
http://beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

My number 1 religion was UU and number 27 was catholic. :LOL It must work!

 

[jgreer]

LOL! Too funny. I took the quiz and my #1 was UU.

That was a very interesting exercise

 

[mamimapster]

LOL! I thought this was hysterical! Great quiz.
My Top Six were:

1. Reform Judaism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (94%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (93%)
4. Neo-Pagan (91%)
5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (79%)
6. Mahayana Buddhism (78%)
My least was Roman catholic at 24%

 

[2happymamas]

These were the top 6 when I did the quiz....

1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (94%)
3. Reform Judaism (87%)
4. Bahá'í Faith (84%)
5. Unitarian Universalism (82%)
6. Sikhism (65%)

I do not know anything about my #4 and #6 matches. I was not at all surprised w/ the #1 match. I was raised in a Church of Christ setting.

The bottom three....

25. Eastern Orthodox (33%)
26. Roman Catholic (33%)
27. Hinduism (28%)

I am noticing that Roman Catholic is near the bottom for everyone who has posted.

 

[chfriend]

My family is Christian. I'm Catholic and dd1 is baptised in the RC church. Dp is a non-denominational Christian. We haven't baptised dd2 'cause we've been a bit stuck on what to do regarding church.

DD1 is unable to sit still so attending worship times is out of the question.

We are continuing to sit with this as a family. We know we'll find our way out of the confusion at some point. (Hopefully, soon!)