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<p>to learn that she's actually being nice. And kind. And thoughtful. All on her own. And she's not creating any drama. After the last year of threads about her, isn't that shocking?!?</p>
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The last 6 months or so something has snapped in her. I don't know what happened, but I'll take it! She's become much nicer to me (I still tread carefully and try not to spend much time with her without dp around too). She hasn't said one negative word about dp and my wedding. Her and FFIL have cracked the occasional joke about "are you sure we can't fit in your suitcase?" but nothing bad. Over the last few weeks dp and I decided to tread a little carefully but ask her for some help picking ds up from school once or twice a week since I've been working more. The deal was that she picks ds up and brings him immediately to our house. Any stray from this and she wouldn't be picking ds up again. She's done wonderful! Even when ds asked her to go through the drive thru to get him fries (<span><img alt="eyesroll.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/eyesroll.gif"> ) she told him that she had to take him home but that she would ask me if she could take him through the drive thru next time. Wow! 6 months ago she would have just taken him wherever she wanted to (and caused me to have a heart attack!) with no regard to dp and my wishes. She has followed our requests exactly though.</span></p>
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<p><span>DP and I decided that we would go out to dinner with them on Thanksgiving (something we have done before but I said no more last year because taking my autistic child to Cracker Barrel on Thanksgiving where it's so busy you can't even move in the store area and the wait for a table was 2+ hours didn't appeal to me). But we told dp's parents that we could do dinner with them if they got to the table and put their names on the list and let us know how long the wait was. Then we would bring ds to the restaurant when we got a table. We did that and dinner was great! They came to our house afterward for desert.</span></p>
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<p><span>FMIL's b-day was last week. Usually she wants a big dinner out with everybody there. Last year it was horrible- ds ended up under the table for half the time screaming and I took him outside for the other half of dinner (then brought my dinner home to eat). (Remember- ds has autism so doesn't do well in crowds and, well, this time of the year SUCKS for him). I told dp we weren't doing it this year. He was more than welcome to go out to dinner with his mom and then everybody could come back to our house if they wanted to. Before he even had a chance to tell his mom that she told him that she wanted to do things different this year since she knew ds was having a hard time. WHAT!?! Who is this lady and what did she do with my FMIL?!? She wanted to have dinner at our house, where ds was comfortable (I cooked, ds did great and we all had a good time). I was SHOCKED.</span></p>
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<p><span>We agreed that we would go over to their house for a few hours on Christmas Eve for dinner and gifts and then on Christmas Day we were staying home but they were welcome to come over (and FMIL already said they would, of course, come over in the afternoon.... compare that to last year where she flipped out, refused to come to our house and guilted dp into going to her house while he was ill, in the freezing rain).</span></p>
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<p>DS told FMIL a couple weeks ago that "Jason and mama are getting married so they can have another baby". LOL! <span><img alt="blush.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/blush.gif"> While FMIL was doing good before she heard that, I think she's being extra good now because she doesn't want to risk not being able to be a part of a possible future babies life.</span></p>
 

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<p>That is fantastic. Crossing my fingers for you that the good behavior continues. :)</p>
 

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<p>That's fantastic! Any chance she started some kind of a medication? Or stopped some kind of a medication? The change seems so drastic. I hope it lasts! Enjoy!</p>
 

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<p>No medication changes that I know of. The only change she's made is she and FFIL started Weight Watchers earlier this year. They weren't doing well at first and I know that was affecting her attitude. But the last few months they have really been working hard at it and they both (her especially) have lost quite a bit of weight. She is a much happier person to be around now. I don't know if it's related to the weight thing or if it's a coincidence. But dp and I are trying hard to support them (she wanted me to make pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving so I found a Weight Watchers recipe, for her b-day dinner I found a recipe for 1 point brownie bites that I made for her desert, etc).</p>
 

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<p>Oh my goodness! That's wonderful, and astonishing!! She was so incredibly OTT before that it's hard to believe that she actually is able to make rational, compassionate decisions -- I really thought she just didn't have it in her. Well, here's hoping it keeps up!</p>
 

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<p>Congratulations. It feels great, doesn't it?</p>
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<p>I have a changed MIL too. It started out very rough. Lots of drama. Lots of attempts at control, including money and threats.</p>
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<p>For the last four years, it's like I got a new MIL though. Kind. Thoughtful. Caring. No drama. Now I actually call her. You know, just to talk to her. Sometimes. And now I'm actually trying to talk DH into staying there an extra day at Christmas. Slap me silly.</p>
 

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<p>That is fantastic news!  The weight issue and perhaps, she finally realized that you all wont cave and that she WANTS to be involved so resolved to suck it up and it sounds like she is also learning that there are benefits to meeting people half way.  a win/win for everybody!</p>
 
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