[Barefoot Farmer]

Well, the title says it all. I have had 6 pregnancies, my first resulted in my DD (now 5) who was born at 30 weeks when an ovarian cyst ruptured my artery (freaky, I know). I have gone on to have 5 m/c in the last 4 years, all in the first trimester. I am currently pregnant for the 7th time.

:

: However, my issue isn't just staying pregnant, it takes me quite a long time to get pregnant, 2 of these pregnancies have been IVF, 4 natural, 1 clomid. With all that said, I am super, super freaked out about losing this pregnancy. I'm now on lovenex and baby aspirin and I'm psyched that we are trying something new, something that might work, but I'm also quite leary that one shot and a baby aspirin is going to solve this. With all that said, I am thinking about refusing a vaginal ultrasound (most likely done at 6 wks) and also of not having sex until at least the 2nd trimester. What do others think? Really. If you disagree, please let me know. Refusing the u/s obviously is easier. They are strangers, I can say I refuse and just wait until they can see the babe on the abdominal ultrasound (probably around 7wks). I have not seen hard research that this can cause m/c, but during my 6th pregnancy, I went in for a 6 wk u/s and the tech asked me what # pregnancy this was and why I was having an ultrasound so early, when I explained the situation, she said "well, we'll just find that babe with the abdominal scan. They say these vaginal ones are safe, but let's not risk it." Note: I did m/c the pregnancy 4 days later w/o vaginal ultrasound. As for sex, w/ my dd 's pregnancy -- when I so, so believed that all pregnancies were normal and fine and one didn't have to worry about anything -- I did experience spotting after intercourse in the 2nd trimester. I just don't want to cause any potential problems, ykwim? Any thought?

 

[boobs4milk]

Hugs and congrats! It took us nearly 2 yrs to conceive again after our loss, so I know how tough the waiting is. We were JUST starting fertility treatments (had first consult, u/s for diagnostics, scheduled 'clean up' surgery) when I got pg.

I had also thought about NOT having the u/s at all, not even abdominal ones, until AFTER we got past the first trimester. Several episodes of bleeding made me change my mind as I am a worrier and I need to know everything that's going on. We saw our last baby at 8 1/2 wks on the abdominal u/s, heartbeating and wiggling around a bit. At 12.5 wks we had another abdominal u/s that showed a 9 wk baby with no hearttones.

With my living DD, we did transvag u/s at 5 1/2 wks, 7 wks, 10 wks, and at regular intervals thereafter due to incompetent cervix. I had to have cervical measurements taken every 2-3 wks. She's perfect, healthy, and alive. I had ZERO transvag u/s with the baby we lost.

I wish you luck...I've been searching, proding, scraping for answers as to why we lost our last baby and I can not come up with anything concrete. I used to want to scratch people's eyes out for saying 'these things just sometimes happen and there is no reason' but I'm coming to the conclusion that that is the only explanation. I didn't do anything wrong, I'm sure that no matter what you do, you will try to do right by this baby as well.

 

[Julia'sMom]

Congrats on the bfp! I remember you in the tww. As for ultrasounds, I am planning on getting them. One tomorrow at 5.5 wks, one at 6.5 wks and probably one other when released from the re at 7.5 weeks. With my miscarriage, I also had the transvaginal u/s and all looked fine. I didn't miscarry until 11-12 weeks, when I was having abdominal u/s to check for bleeding. So...like Jen, it's more for my peace of mind because I know I would be really stressed if I didn't get them. Also, I had the same with dd1, and she's fine.

As far as intercourse, I've been told by the dr no intercourse or orgasm until a heartbeat is located. The same for any heavy phsical activity or exercise. That I am definately following. After that point...well...if I have any energy left I don't think I'll abstain. However, with the lack of energy during 1st trimester it should be easy to do so, if it makes you feel better.

that you can find peace during this time.

 

[Cotton]

I don't know if I should admit this or not, but we didn't have sex at all during my only sucessful pregnany. Our dr recommended pelvic rest (no excercise or sex). so that is what I usually follow, although the RE that I saw today said that activity doesn't affect the outcome either the pregnancy is going to go or not go (I didn't ask him about sex or not).

However i am still taking it easy & not having sex (I have a saint of a husband) as we have had 4 miscarriages & one sucessful pregnancy. That adds up to a lot of no sex time. But hopefully if this pregnancy works out we will have our 2 kiddos & be done with the baby making

I am doing the vag US because they give me piece of mind more than anything. I think that the anxiety that I have during these first few weeks would be more toxic than the US itself, so it is a trade off, but I can see your point about skipping them all together.

I think the anxiety plays a part in the no sex thing too. I am sure that some people will think it odd not to have sex for 9 plus months, but for me if we were having sex & then a miscarriage I would always have that doubt in my mind.

Good luck I wish we all could just be blissfully ignorant and happily pregnant like a lot of ladies, but... here we are. I have been obsessing about some non heated deli meat I accidentally ate

ridiculous I know!

 

[ewins24]

Congrats!

I am another person who doesn't have sex the whole time I'm pg. We used to then with our 4th pg we had sex and the next night we mc'd so DH won't bc he still believes that he caused that loss, even though I've tied over the years to tell him that he didn't but after 10yrs he still thinks it. I've had 7 mc's and our last 2 pgs we didn't have sex the whole time and we have 2 healthy girls now. It was the right choice for us, it may not be for everyone.

I did do the vag us bc DH & I both needed the peace of mind.

Good luck!

 

[boobs4milk]

I forgot to mention that we are not having sex, either. Mostly because of fear/anxiety but partly because of horrible morning sickness and pain in my hips and muscles. We are on restriction and will most likely be told at our next visit NO sex or orgasm for me until after baby. We've learned how to get creative

as that was our option during my pg with Natalie.

We didn't have sex last time I was pg because I hadn't gotten to the point of feeling like it when we lost Zoe.

 

[Cotton]

I am glad that we are not the only abstainate pregnant couple in the world. Just think I will never know what pregnant sex is like, but I am willing to sacrifice that experience

 

[boobs4milk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cotton I am glad that we are not the only abstainate pregnant couple in the world. Just think I will never know what pregnant sex is like, but I am willing to sacrifice that experience

By the time I feel like it, it usually just hurts. I know that many pg women are more aroused and feel more sexual during pg, but I just never have.

That being said, I try not to let intimacy suffer while I'm pg. Last night, my dh was distant and I asked him if he was angry with me. I can tell he's having 'brain buildup' LOL and told him I would do what I could to help. He came to bed and snuggled with me and he seemed like a happier man this a.m. even without sexual contact.

And no, we aren't the only ones who abstain durning pg. I'm on an IC list so NONE of them have sex while pg!!!

 

[Barefoot Farmer]

I sincerely appreciate everyone's frank discussion on these topics. DH and I have decided that for our peace of mind we are not getting the vaginal u/s. As far as sex go, we are abstaining, but creative. Both he and I have high sex drives and tend to be one of those women who get highly aroused during pregnancy. However, I don't think any level arousal is going to make me feel comfortable with intercourse right now.

Boobs, if you don't mind me asking, what is IC?

 

[boobs4milk]

IC is incompetent cervix. I have that and a plethera of other possible complications during pg, so no intercourse for us!

 

[shibababy]

These are my same concerns. I'm petrified of ultrasounds especially the transvaginal ones. I am also fearful of sex but did give in once this week.
BUT, I also may have IC and will need to have cervical measurements. So, I will need to decide soon when I will allow one.

boobs-when did they start your cervical measurements?

 

[boobs4milk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shibababy These are my same concerns. I'm petrified of ultrasounds especially the transvaginal ones. I am also fearful of sex but did give in once this week. BUT, I also may have IC and will need to have cervical measurements. So, I will need to decide soon when I will allow one. boobs-when did they start your cervical measurements?

Last time they started at 16 wks, this time I'll go in 15 1/2 wks and she may look. I wanted her to do them earlier, but my scan at 11 wks looked 'okay' so she said 'next appt.' Then she said 18 wks, so we'll see.

 

[shibababy]

boobs- thanks, I spoke with the nurse midwife and she said 16wks for cervical checks. I asked about having them sooner, she said they could always do an emergency cerclage. Yeah, like that's what I want.

barefoot-
due to my weight they can't see too much with the abdominal one so they lik to do the vaginal ones. Hopefully since I'm with a peri now (better machines) they will use the abdominal and just a quick look with the transvaginal one for the cervix measurement.

 

[boobs4milk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shibababy boobs- thanks, I spoke with the nurse midwife and she said 16wks for cervical checks. I asked about having them sooner, she said they could always do an emergency cerclage. Yeah, like that's what I want. barefoot- due to my weight they can't see too much with the abdominal one so they lik to do the vaginal ones. Hopefully since I'm with a peri now (better machines) they will use the abdominal and just a quick look with the transvaginal one for the cervix measurement.

I've heard of over-zealous dr's putting in the cerclage at 12-15 wks JIC, but my dr measure my cervix at all 3 u/s's and didn't seem too worried. She said she would NOT do an emergency one after 22 wks, so I guess she's hoping history doesn't repeat.

During my last pg, the cervix stayed about 3 until I hit 23 wks and it went down to 2.4 and then 2.2 at 24 wks. I stayed just above 2 with the aid of the progesterone shots until about 34 wks. I got down to closer to 1 then and was dialating at 35 wks. We ended up doing an induction at 37 wks because by then my cervix/body was pretty confused and would start opening, stop, contrax then nothing.

barefootfarmer-I'm sorry for the hijack and I hope you are doing well! As you can tell, I had MANY vag u/s last successful pg starting at 5.5 wks and Natalie is a healthy 3 1/2 yr old!

HUGS!

 

[meredyth0315]

I'm jumping in here kind of late, but I had trans vag u/s's with my loss and with my last pg. I'm not sure it contributed to my loss. I did spot after the one with Elias, but it subsided a few hours later. As for sex, we waited until I was about 19 weeks, and then I bled. Everything was fine thank goodness, but that was the end of bd'ing until I needed the prostaglandins

I wish you a sticky, wonderful pregnancy! The PAL road isn't easy, but you're certainly not alone