[Devaskyla]

ARG! Dh & I are going insane!!!

DS keeps asking the same things over and over and over and over and over again, even after we've given him an answer, even when the the answer is yes.

I'm holding onto my temper by a thread here, I just want to scream at him to stop it!

Help, does anyone have any bright ideas to get him to stop harrassing us?

 

[kimbalicious]

I have no advice -- merely a shoulder to scream on! I've had those days, too, with ds asking the same question over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

 

[flminivanmama]

I have one that does that too.

one thing that works is asking HIM the question .... "I don't know Ben, what IS the turtle's name?" of course he knows the answer because I just told him 8 times LOL He tells me the answer and walks away satisfied.

of course he comes back a little while later with a new question

and sometimes when I'm extremely annoyed I can't remember to do it....

but it has always been effective when I've remembered to do it.

 

[Devaskyla]

Thanks, Andrea. I'll have to give that a try next time he does it. Even if it only works half the time, it would be a huge relief!

BTW, nice to "see" you again. Hope you and your family are all doing good.

 

[Kabes]

flminivanmama is right, this is the only thing that has ever worked for me. In daycare, as a nanny and as a mom I have used this trick. Other ways to phrase it; "What do you think?" "What did mommy say?".

If I know that my dd knows the answer to a question she is asking (even if its the fist time she's asking) I will reply "What do you think?" IMO sometime kids this age ask just to see if they are right.I'd rather my daughter tell me what she thinks and be able to affirm her than give an answer that may be slightly different from what she is thinking. Then she may think she was incorrect. Does that make any sense?

 

[flminivanmama]

you too

 

[raleigh_mom]

My 3yo DD refuses to accept "What do you think?" or "What did Mommy say?" Instead we decided "Twice is the limit." She may ask several times, but if we say "I'm sorry, but twice is your limit" she will at least wait a few minutes for the answer before asking again.

As for asking questions when they know the answer, it is a normal phase where they learn that some answers don't change. The crayon was green yesterday, is green today, and will be green tomorrow. It's a way of their brains learining to understand permanance. Kind of like dropping stuff from high chairs helps them learn that things fall down, not up. Annoying to grownups, but helpful to kids.

 

[Alexander]

What are the questions that he asks?

a

 

[Devaskyla]

Well, today it's "Can I have a popsicle?" over and over. Oh and "Can I have some iced tea?".

 

[thoesly]

My daughter does this all the time -- but she has auditory processing issues (they can't officially test for the disorder until age 6, and she's too young). What this means is that she doesn't always process what she's saying or what's being said to her. So if she says, "Can I have a popsicle?" she won't "get it" if I just say, "Yes." She has to hear me say, "Yes, you can have a popsicle" (same words, same order). And sometimes, when I say, "Yes, you can have a popsicle," she will say, "No. No popsicle," because she doesn't always understand what is coming out of her mouth until it is repeated back to her. Even doing this, we often have the same interactions several times a day, sometimes because her brain doesn't process that she's already asked a question and been answered and sometimes because she feels safe practicing these interactions because they are predictable.

Not trying to be alarmist -- just thought I'd throw that out there in case you think this is a problem instead of just a situation you have to cope with. My daughter also needs visual cues to follow directions (I do a lot of pointing), and she is unable to answer questions beyond the "What is this object/color/number" type -- she can't answer questions about a story if she doesn't actually see what you're referring to.

 

[Camellia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devaskyla ARG! Dh & I are going insane!!! DS keeps asking the same things over and over and over and over and over again, even after we've given him an answer, even when the the answer is yes. I'm holding onto my temper by a thread here, I just want to scream at him to stop it! Help, does anyone have any bright ideas to get him to stop harrassing us?

Just reading this, before even looking at your siggy line I said to myself "I bet a million dollars this child is 3 years old!"

I promise it will get better very soon. Your Ds is totally normal and you all will survive. My Ds talks alot naturally and when he was 3 I thought I would never survive to see him turn 4 :LOL But, I did and even had another child which I wasn't sure I would be able to do.

 

[merpk]

I don't know about this getting-better-after-3yo thing. DS#1 is 6yo and still does it. Actually, it's gotten much worse.

"Can I have [fillintheblank]?"
"Yes, in a minute, when I'm done changing your sister's diaper [orfillintheblank]."
"Can I have [fillintheblank]?"
"Can I have [fillintheblank]?"
"Can I have [fillintheblank]?"
"Can I have [fillintheblank]?"
"Can I have [fillintheblank]?"

ringhairout

No solutions from me. Am liking flminivanmama's suggestion a lot, though ...

 

[lovemygirl]

Gosh! So sorry you have this going on too! I was reading this thread hoping to find an answer for my dd always asking some things. Her questions aren't really like can I have a cookie, although some times it is...its major things like I want to go to the restaurant PLease Mommy PLEASEEEE Mommy...PLEEEAASSEEEE. Begging me. Even if the answer is yes, but not til a few hours form now.

She said this to me about 50 times this afternoon. My answer wasn't good enough so she kept saying it, or asking to go over and over then worked herself into a HUGE tamtrum because (at the time we were in the car) and we went home instead of the "restuarant". I guess its really my dh's fault for even mentioning it

So what do you all do in that situation?

Whoops! Didn't mean to hijack your thread Devaskyla! I am just wondering what i could do too.

 

[Dreamer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lindsaylou Just reading this, before even looking at your siggy line I said to myself "I bet a million dollars this child is 3 years old!"

Heheehe....I did the SAME THING!!

My 3 year old is the same way! But, not only does he repeat questions, he wants *me* to repeat STORIES to him ALL THE TIME! Not just one or two, either...like six, in one sitting! My brain is RACKED when I get done with all those stories! He is questioning things a lot more, though...Although, usually I try to be EXTREMELY detailed in my answer, hoping that will fill him with enough information to settle his little mind for a while! He *craves* details, and would absolutely NOT be satisfied by a 'yes or no' answer for ANYTHING. If I say just 'yes or no' the next thing that comes out of his mouth is either, 'why?' or 'because why?'. I think he just knows there is SO MUCH MORE to this decision making/permanance stuff, and he needs to *know* the 'why?' behind everything.

For instance, the other day, he asked me if it was going to rain. I knew better than to just say yes <it was *definately* looking stormy> so I looked up at the sky, and told him that 'yes, it looked to me like it was going to rain--but added that I was no meteorologist'...next ? 'What's a Meeeti o lo gis?' 'He's the weatherman on tv, ya know?' 'Like James Spann?<our local Met.!>' 'Yep...just like James Spann'

Of course, by the time we make it home, we've discussed exactly what it is meteorologists do, got a good lesson in on how evaporation/condensation occurs and the cycle of rain/water in the oceans/evaporation/clouds/rain again.

My point being...I find if I fill him with WAY more information than he ever asked for, not only is he being exposed to these concepts for the first time VERY early, but he's also NOT asking the same question OVER AND OVER AND OVER!! He's on to something NEW! And, I can deal with that!!

Sounds like you've got a curious little three year old on your hands, that's all!!

 

[Brisen]

I completely forget where, but I read that kids often ask questions when they want a conversation. So, when a kid asks "Why is the sky blue?" and you give whatever answer you give, and he asks "Why?" about your answer, you can talk about what a pretty colour of blue the sky is, what would be a strange colour for the sky, that kind of thing.

 

[PikkuMyy]

One idea for the "yes you can, but after ..." would be to make a visual schedule. I work with kids with autism but I could see how this would easily help younger children. I have actual picture symbols but you could draw a schedule that showed what order you were doing things in.

Some plants at the top for working in the garden
The car for picking up older brother from school
The TV for the video to watch
Daddy coming home from work
A table with food for the restaurant

Make sense? That way your child can refer to the drawn schedule and if he or she forgets and asks, you can have him or her look at the schedule.

 

[Devaskyla]

Thanks for the great ideas!

I only *wish* ds would ask "why". It actually worries me a bit that he isn't yet. Of course, I'm a mom, I have to have something to worry about, right?

My plan for "why" questions was to answer them in as much detail as possible, too, even if I have to go to the library to find out.

It's just the constant asking for certain foods or drinks or to go to grandma's that's driving me a little batty.

 

[Camellia]

Another thing I do when my ds asks questoins repetitively is to respond with a sincere "I already answered that question. What do you think the answer is"? I do not ask it in a snarky tone, but a sincere one. Sometimes I don't think he really remembers the answer. If he does, he smiles and tells me what the answer is and will leave me alone about it for awhile. Other times he truly doesn't remember - and then I will tell him again or explain further.

When he is whining and begging I usually just tell him that it is not up for discussion, I've given my answer and am not changing my mind. If the issue at hand *is* something I'm willing to bend on then we will discuss the issue. I will find out how important it is to him vs. how important *not* doing (whatever) is to me. In these circumstances I always encourage him to present his "gripe" to me in a normal tone of voice, and I let him know that he can get my attention that way and that I will listen. But, when he is whining then I can't understand him and thus can't figure out what he needs. Once he approaches me with a normal tone then I make sure to be attentive.

Sorry if these suggestions have already been stated (I haven't read the others posts in a few days so can't remember what others have said.

 

[luckylady]

My DD will not take "no" for an answer - already.

One thing I wanted to encourage with this though, is I tell her I admire her perseverance and how good it is that she doesn't give up on things.

Gotta find the silver lining...

 

[Alexander]

OK

It seems to me that there are 3 types of quetioning.

1) Where a child has a physiological problem and cannot sort the world in a manner that is normal or usual.

2) The child is impatient and is demanding action, now now now.

3) The child is asking Qs like "how do trees grow?" , "why do we walk?" "Why do all animals have 5 toes?" etc

-------------

1) No thoughts at the moment,

2) This is easy. It is a wonderful chance to help your child become skilful in expressing a degree of exactitude that is a valuable tool, not only for a 3yo, but as an adult too.

ds "can a I have a cookie?"

u "yes, Big one or little one?"

ds "Big one"

u "Thin one or fat one?"

ds "Fat one"

u "Long one or short one?"

ds "?? Long one?"

u "Oh, maybe there are only short ones. Do you want ones with chocolate lumps or with elephant poo in them?"

etc

Just keep on going till the nappy you are changing is done. Then you can pay full attention to the child in need.

3) I cannot imagine that a parent would be anything other than delighted that their own child has such curiosity about how the world works, and busting to get down to answering all the qs and discussing all the possibilities. If anyone is irritated by a 3yos natural investigativeness, then they really need to re-assess their own philosophy on interacting with children (people). At the moment I'm not next to the book-case, but when I get round to it, I'll post some books that might help.

a