Rethinking Prenatal Care...Your Thoughts?

If I went to the MW just to make sure my baby was ok I probably wouldn't want to go every month either.

Yes, my MW talks to me about my diet but I need that. I know that I do much better when I write everything down to make sure I am getting enough protein and staying away from sugar.

Going to my MW is more like a counseling session for me. Yes, we check my weight and I pee in a cup but most of the one hour appointment is about how I am feeling. We discuss any concerns I may have and our hopes for the upcoming birth. Along with any issues DH or the two of us are having.

I don't really heart the heartbeat though, I refuse the doppler and even though my MW and my DH are able to hear the HB through the fetoscope I can never hear it Which isn't a big deal really because by the time you can hear it with a fetoscope you can feel the baby kicking and obviously a kicking baby has a beating heart.

I don't usually start going until 12-14 weeks because before that there really is no reason but I honestly looked forward to my appointments and that is one of the things that will be my favorite part of getting pregnant again.

Maybe if you don't enjoy your appoinements with your MW she isn't the right caregiver for you. If I dreaded going then I'd have to look at the reasons and who my MW is as a person is a HUGE part of my enjoying my pregnancy and my emotional well being leading up to the labor & birth.

Keri

I think with a MW the most important aspect of the prenatal appts isn't the health part - if you're self selecting a MW, you're pretty attuned to your body and its needs and IMO, already take pretty good care of yourself. So, her job is easy on that front.

What is really important is getting to know your MW and building a relationship with her. This is a person who is going to be responsible for your health and well-being at one of the most vulnerable times in your life (yes, labor and birth are empowering, but I believe they are also a time of vulnerability). You're going to want to be comfortable enough with her and know her well enough that it's going to be ok that you're running around naked and follwoing your body's impulses. You might throw up in front of her, you might need to go to the bathroom in front of her, you might need to do a lot of *very* personal things in front of her while you're in labor and if you're not comfortable with her, it might be more difficult for you to just let go and honor your body. Birth is very primal (I can't think of a better word right now) and there's not a lot of thinking involved. So, if you're not comfortable on a deep level w/ your care provider, you're not going to be as comfortable in general in such a time and place that really isn't very comfortable at all.

I agree w/ pps, if you are uncomfortable with her in general, perhaps you should explore why and maybe look at a different MW? I know, around here, you kind of take what you get b/c they're so few and far between, but it's worth examining the why.

Good luck and I wish you the best with your pregnancy, labor and birth.

I don't think you can fully understand the bliss of not going....lol, unless you are just not going.... With my last pregnancy... I did all my own prenatals and it was the best pregnancy (3) that I had ever had. Right at the end I saw my midwife...umm.. I don't know???...perhaps on week 35 and 39, something like that.... I told her my thoughts and questions and concerns... She basically agreed with me that women do not need to see a midwife unless they want too. It is mostly a comfort thing for the mothers.... if they are just your average healthy educated pregnant mama. So here I am in pregnancy number 4... I called the midwife when I found out and told her..."see ya at the end". She congratulated me and told me we would talk more at the end of the summer, but to call her if I had any questions.
On that note, my last pregnancy was the first time I had used her... and I am a no nonsense kind of girl: I know I like her, I know I am an easy pregnant mama, I know I can birth just fine...so no need to sit and talk. But that is me and if I need time alone....lol, I would rather spend that time shopping or going to a spa
Tricia

You all gave me many things to think about...Thank You! I think I am discovering why I have this lack of enjoyment. I had the same mw for my first two births but this one is new to me. I am just really tired this point in my life...emotionally and physically. It is hard establishing a new relationship on a personal and caregiver level and I just don't have it to give. But, I do agree with pp that this is the woman that will be with me at a vunerable time ...so having an understanding where each is coming from is important. I don't want suprises of that sort on baby's birth day. I guess i'll just keep trucking along and hope I get out of this funk. It's a long and cold winter where I come from and there has been alot of cold and flus this year that have really wiped me out. I am looking foward to some warm weather and getting my self and my little boys out of the house. Thanks again