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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
All of a sudden my boys have gotten so they really like getting stickers acknowledging when they have been helpful or kid or co-operated, i am finding it all a little weird to be honest.<br><br>
there are no sticker charts, there is no long term reward to aim for, the accumulation of stickers leads to nothing more than having more stickers.<br><br>
however, they will do something and ask if they can have a sticker if they do a job, or after they have done something nice they ask if they can have a stciker for doing it, and then they either stick the stickers to themselves or to their beds and at the end of the day they like to count them and show me how great they have been.<br><br>
like i say i find it a little weird and probably stems from school. so what do i do?<br><br>
having written this i think i already know the answer, rather tha me deciding whether they can have a sticker - i do always say yes, but it is still a form of evaluation from me, maybe i could ask them if they think they want to give themselves a sticker.<br><br>
in fact i could give them a roll of stickers each and they can feel free to give themselves stickers whenever they feel proud of themselves and we can talk about all the stickers they have at the end of the day - is this still a little weird and icky?<br><br>
its just the sticker thing is definitely motivating kindness, both ds's ade my bed this evening and actually did a fantastic job with all the pillows laid out nicely and everything, then they asked if they could get a stciker for being helpful.<br><br>
anyhow - i just wanted to talk this over as i am not sure how i feel about this or where to go with it.
 

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I think either way is fine. Give them a sticker whenever they ask for one without judgement, or give them a roll to give themselves one. They'll probably get tired of it soon, regardless.<br><br>
My ds recently asked me to ask another mom if he did a good job (she was "good jobbing" her little ones) so I know what you mean about the weirdness.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
i gave ds a roll of stickers, he has decided to give himself a sticker for each page of his book that he reads, and added all together he now has 21 stickers, he seems very happy with this.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Many people like to give themselves a little treat after accomplishing something, like having some cold lemonade after cleaning out the garage.
 

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You know, it's probably good that he feels empowered to give himself stickers since it's something he is being subjected to at school. It might actually make the school stickers have less power to mess up his internal motivation.
 

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I used to use a cup of tea for myself as a reward for doing unpleasant things. It helped me motivate myself. (Now that I am pregnant I seem to have no desire for tea anymore <shrug>.)<br><br>
My cousin just married a woman with 2 twin 5yos. They are excellently behaved and articulate and well mannered. They use a method with them of giving and taking away stickers.<br><br>
Probably the OP's child's school does the same thing, or one of his friends, so the OP's child learned of the method.<br><br>
I don't like it because it is reminiscent of doing things for money. You should do things because they are right, not for personal gain.<br><br>
I prefer the idea of letting them reward themselves. Alternately, you could hang a piece of paper and let them affix the stickers to that to DISPLAY their accomplishments. If someone sees a new sticker, he/she can ask the child what that represents. That would allow the child some practice with describing events -- improving language skills.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>oliversmum2000</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7228492"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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in fact i could give them a roll of stickers each and they can feel free to give themselves stickers whenever they feel proud of themselves and we can talk about all the stickers they have at the end of the day - is this still a little weird and icky?</div>
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I personally think <b>this</b> is a great idea <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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My son love stickers, and we do a sticker chart just because he gets so dog gone excited about it. When he gets his stickers to the line, he gets a surprise. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">: I don't see any harm in it.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>heldt123</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7230096"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My son love stickers, and we do a sticker chart just because he gets so dog gone excited about it. When he gets his stickers to the line, he gets a surprise. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">: I don't see any harm in it.</div>
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Here is an article about why some people are concerned about rewards.<br><a href="http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/ror.htm" target="_blank">http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/ror.htm</a>
 
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