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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Any other vegetarians/vegans in our group?<br><br>
My mom is really concerned about my diet. I have assured her that I'm being careful to get enough protein, iron, etc, but she still doesn't seem to believe that I'm getting enough of anything. She has now asked me "are you eating?" three different times. No mom! As soon as I found out I'm carrying a child I just STOPPED EATING!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Tonight, as I'm letting her go on the phone, I say "well, I'm going to go make myself a salad" to which she responds "are you EATING?". "Yes mom! A salad! In just a couple minutes!" "Well whenever I talk to you, you are just eating something like a yoghurt. Or a carrot stick" to which I say, "But notice that everytime we're on the phone I seem to be eating? At all hours?" I think the only thing that would have pleased her is if I said I was about to go eat a big fat barbecued steak.<br><br>
sigh. Mom and I have the same doctor, and she asked the doc about my diet last time she was in for a visit...I was glad to hear my doc said STOP worrying, she's healthy!<br><br>
Anyone else have a worrywart mother? Or someone coming down on your for your diet choices? Luckily I really haven't run into many people who are against my vegetarian diet...but DO get the questions every time "So are you going to raise your child vegetarian then?"<br>
Sometimes I'm not even sure how to answer that. What else would we do?? Neither of us eat meat. There's no meat in our house. Sure, the kid is going to make their own choices when they're old enough to be buying their own food...but while they're eating my cooking, it won't include meat! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
Thanks for listening.<br>
winn
 

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I'm not a vegetarian, but just wanted to say that that sounds really irritating. Sorry you have to hear that. What's great about a vegetarian diet is that long-time vegetarians are able to make more effective use of, for example, the protein you take in. So you probably need to eat less protein than I do for your body to get the same result.<br><br>
I'm not saying that all of us shouldn't be mindful of our diets, and try to eat well, but the fixation with eating perfectly because you're pregnant is rather overwhelming. It's symptomatic (IMHO) of how our society treats mothers in general...everything that goes "wrong" with our kids is somehow our specific fault, and there's this myth that if you just try hard enough, you can be the "perfect" mom. Whatever!! And by the way, outside of childbirth classes during my first pregnancy, no one has EVER asked my husband if he's HELPING me eat well. 'Cause we all know that cooking and grocery shopping is woman's work....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"><br><br>
Carol
 

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Ahh, I'm sorry you're dealing with that. How annoying! I'm vegan, and luckily my mom isn't worried about me. I went vegetarian on my own when I was 14, vegan nearly three years ago, and she knows I know what I'm doing. My MIL has been vegan for practically forever, so of course I have a lot of support there. We're raising our baby vegan, and when he/she is old enough to make an informed decision, he/she can eat as he/she wishes.
 

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ohhh that is seriously irritating. Both of my closest friends are vegetarian. One was HOUNDED throughout her first pg by everyone about her eating. She eats better than anyone I know. The other one is the dd of a vegetarian so she was less hassled.<br><br>
Also, remember to pay ZERO attention to scans that 'supposedly' tell you the weight of the fetus. My one veggie friend was scanned at 38 weeks where she was told the baby was only just five lbs and she went home racked with guilt about how she was not appropriately nourishing her child etc....<br>
Baby was born five days later, just a bit under 7lbs.<br><br>
Keep doing what you're doing. You're almost undoubtedly paying more attention to your diet than 95% of the pg women out there, making sure you are getting appropriate nutrients.
 

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Oh my, is this familiar. Everyone has something to say about my and my daugther's vegan diet! Truth is, I am much more healthy than most people I know. Also, I had a completely healthy VEGAN pregnancy with my first dd, and so far so good this time. I also recovered from birth very quickly. To add, my 2.5 year old has only ever had roseola and some runny noses. Now, while there are other factors that contribute to her being so healthy, my point is that being vegan has certainly not made her unhealthy. And for those that care about such things (most of my family really does!), she has hit all of her major milestones way ahead of schedule, and in many ways is more advance that my father's kid who is a year older than her. She's certainly not a genius or anything, but I like to be able to point out to people that her diet has not done anything at all to hinder her <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Tell her you are doing just fine. Meat is not required to have a healthy child. I had a wonderful healthy boy who did just fine. He too has done rather well with all of his development. The only reason he is small, is well, his parents are small people.<br><br>
Keep up your good work!
 

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I am veggie - I had a 10 pound 4 oz baby.<br><br>
This pregnancy trying to get more protein - ideas: soy protein powder for smoothies, tofu, seitan (has sooooo much), wheat germ.
 

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i agree with the weight scan comment mine was way off, the docter told me my baby was small about 5 lbs - well a couple of days later i had a 8 pound 13 ounce giant baby!! what the hell gave him the idea i had a small baby? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bouncy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bouncy">
 

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First of all-rant away-I have been <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ! I was a veg. for many years, and I have a lot of friends who are. I have noticed that when they were pregnant, they got a lot of flack about the meat thing-like your growing baby HAS to have it. They also got flack from the same people about raising dc veg. I think it is just another case of they don't have enough information, and might not care to get it, so they stress out on you. Hang in there. Oh-I have to ask.......Are you EATING???? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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hi,<br>
i'm vegan. my SO is vegan, and my son is vegan (he's now 3 yrs old). i became vegan about 2 yrs before conceiving.<br><br>
i would offer to lend her some informative books on the subject, tell her that if she's seriously worried about it, then she shouldn't mind putting in the time to educate herself on the other side of the fence, and even if she still doesn't agree with you in the end, at least she will better understand your reasons and hopefully be satisfied that youv'e made an educated choice.<br><br>
when i was pregnant with noah most of my family and my in-laws were concerned, but they knew to bite their tongues. they were VERY happy (or satisfied, i should say) that i was seeing a nutritionist throughout my pregnancy, just to be sure i was getting everything i needed. (luckily the place i went to offered free nutritional counseling for low-income pregnant women, otherwise this wasn't something i could do. they gave out free milk/eggs to the women, but because that didn't apply to me they actually reimbursed me for my soymilk!!!). i saw her twice a week and kept a food diary so that we could keep track of anything i might be lacking. this can be done yourself, but seeing her gave me a good kick in the ass to keep on track.<br><br>
so, my nutritionist was always worried about my protein levels, no matter how much i ate it was always way below the recommended amount. i had done enough reading to make an opinion that the recommneded amount is ludicrous so i didn't worry too much about it. my baby was born at 9 lbs 4 oz.<br><br>
we did start hearing alot from my MIL once noah was born though, and especially since he started eating solids (which we delayed till he was 9 months old because he was a HUGE baby on my breastmilk alone and didn't show any interest before then). at first she read a bunch of books we'd recommended and became vegetarian (not vegan) herself, but then she started reading all this stuff about how veganism isn't healthy for a child and she started getting on our case. especially because my son has always been a bit pale (so was i when i was a kid). it makes me feel uncomfortable when she brings it up, but luckily it doens't happen often and she's not too aggressive about it. (you're situation would really piss me off!)<br><br>
i agree with you about feeding your kid whatever you eat. i've heard a lot of veggies say "well i'm vegetarian but it's not fair for me to make that choice for my baby". well,why not? parents choose what they feed their baby, regardless of their type of diet. parents choose what their babies eat every single day until those babies grow up to have a voice. every parent, veggie or not.<br><br>
my son is three now and has started asking me about "non-vegan cheese" (he pronounces vegan, "bee-gan"). it's a tough call, to explain to a toddler WHY we're vegan without traumatizing him with info on animal abuse before he's ready and in a way he can understand. he'd developed a bit of a fascination with non-vegan cheese though so i let him try some. luckily he hated it!! but he keeps asking me for it. i think it's more of a curiousity thing than anything.<br><br>
we are also lenient about stuff like halloween candy and birthday parties. i dont' want him to resent veganism, but i'm also not exactly going to let him have an ice cream.<br><br>
anyway, a few months ago i experimented with eating eggs again and did feed them to noah, he seemed to like them. i mentioned this to my MIL and she was of course very happy. well, the eggs were yummy for a few weeks and then they grossed me out so i went off them again. this was a few months ago. the other day my MIL was babysitting for the day and she told me everything he'd eaten, and she said she gave him scrambled eggs "that's ok, right? (pause) i thought you've given him eggs".<br>
i guess i couldn't be mad, she was right, but i felt like she kind of took advantage of that info. i gave him eggs that i at least knew were organic and free-range, and maybe on two occasions.<br><br>
it's really tough to raise a vegan when you're not sure yourself what your boundaries are! we're just going with the flow....and luckily our family has been pretty accepting.<br><br>
sorry, that ended up being a very long babble!<br><br>
rowan
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks for all the replies. I don't want this to sound like I have some awful mother...she really means well, is generally very supportive of me, and I can tell she is *trying* to bite her tongue on the whole issue. Sometimes a comment slips though, lol.<br><br>
vegetalien - that's funny about your son asking for non-vegan cheese. I've wondered before how early our child might take interest in a meat product...likely fairly early, as they watch all the rest of their extended family eat something that they don't get! I've also wondered how we're going to explain to such a young child the reasons that we don't eat meat - without (like you were saying) telling them things that will give them nightmares!<br><br>
Lots to think about. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
winn
 

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Well, my dh is not vegan. Although he almost always eats vegan around us, he does sometimes have cheese or a meat product. dd (2.5) knows that what he is eating is not vegan and that she can't have any. It doesn't seem to bother her, though I worry more about what she is going to think about dad eating it. I am very honest with her. We have a park here where some 4H kids keep their animals. I talk to her about the animals, we pet them, and we talk to them. I explain that the babies should be with their moms getting milk, that some people take these animals and kill them to eat which hurts the animals, and that the eggs people take away from the chickens would have made baby chickens. No, I haven't gotten into factory farming talks or anything. She doesn't need that yet and propably wouldn't get it. But, she has no desire to eat dairy because, "Cow's milk is for baby cows," and she doesn't want eggs because they are baby chickens. Meat isn't an issue because she does not want to hurt the animals. Kids can truely understand a lot at a young age. It also helps to show them that they aren't left out because they have a ton of alternatives.
 

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Right on to all you veggie mamas. The worst is when you get hassled by a former vegetarian who went back to meat "for the sake of the baby." This happened to me. A friend's wife started eating meat while pregnant because he told her she couldn't possibly be getting the right nutrition from a vegetarian diet. I just tried not to discuss it with them because it was never going to go anywhere. Luckily, my non-veg husband has never faltered in his support for me. I figure if it wasn't my diet, people would just focus on some other choices of mine to criticize. Everyone suddenly becomes a pre-natal and infant care specialist when you're pregnant....geez.
 

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I was so shocked that no one has said crap to me about being veggie and pregnant! Pleasantly shocked, since who wants to deal with that nonsense!! haha I have been very consious of my eating healthy, but if I was a meat eater, I'd do that too! Vegetarians have WAY more well rounded diets generally anyway!! I mean, think about it.. when is the last time my non veg family has had a lentil in their mouth!?! haha<br><br>
My best response to someone who questions raising my kid as a veggie... is this.. Do you expect your child to practice YOUR religious beliefs?? of course they do.. so it kind of drops the subject right there! They finally get it! Because for me.. loving animals and not killing them is all part of who I am.. it's not only a eating choice it's a lifestyle of love and compassion!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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