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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think I saw another thread here on this same subject, but I'm posting a story from yesterday.<br><br>
My dad bought me these jeans from Chico's for xmas last week. He asked my sister what to get me and she told him- jeans in size 2. I got them and tried them on. They didn't fall off, but they were way baggy in the back of the legs. I didn't want them to be that loose, I guess. So I take them to the store (with my three kids, 7, 5, 3). The lady tells me I can go find a different size. I said "Do you have a size smaller than '0'?" She looks at me like I'm an idiot and tells me maybe their "cords" will fit differently. So I take those and another style of jeans in "00" in there. Well they are the same. I show her how they fit and she says "Well maybe you should eat more...." GRR! She tells me that their zero is really a 4/6 most other places. So I then tell her I want a shirt instead to exchange. All their shirts are too long in the sleeves or big around. (Which I'm not used to because I used to have huge boobs- hence why I had a breast reduction a year ago.) She then decides she must go searching for the smallest, most tightest cut shirts they have.... Oh brother! (She said that to me.) I think she was annoyed with me. All I wanted was clothes that fit! I did end up getting this white shirt that's this really nice material, actually.<br><br>
I ended up going to American Eagle after and getting some jeans there that fit just right. The lady there wasn't rude about it- I just told her I needed pants that weren't going to be baggy in the back of my thighs so she rattled of their two kinds of fits and gave me a couple sizes to try on. Only thing is, they're the kind that don't really have a waist? I'm not used to that! Feels kinda nekkid. But I tried them on with my new shirt and it looked really nice.<br><br>
Anyway, I just don't know why people assume I don't eat because I'm thin! I should've said to her "I DO eat! I eat all day long!!!" Its just that I exercise every other day for judo. Actually 3x a week. So what's wrong with that? Why do people assume you don't eat if you are thin? Do they make comments to bigger people about what THEY eat to their face? I used to be considered obsese- it was written in my chart in April 2003 by an ER doctor. My BMI was 30 or something. I just saw my OB/GYN a week ago or so and she said I looked great and was fine. Just didn't have a very high body fat percentage, hence why I probably only have 3 periods a year- that and/or I have an IUD. (TMI!)<br><br>
Why am I not allowed to enjoy being thin? I was in no way "flaunting" or whatever at tha t store. Just trying clothes on.....
 

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I've been "petite" all my entire life, and let me tell you.... People are usually just jealous and so things come out of their mouths that maybe shouldnt. I think they also think it's okay to make little remarks since most of the population is on "their side" kwim? Dont let it get to you.... enjoy your body.<br>
I like to shop at american eagle too, by the way, although I sometimes think the younger kids are thinking i must be shpping for my kid.. oh and the music is too loud..... Im feeling older and older every time i go in :LOL<br>
no wonder i havent had new jeans in a while!<br>
Laura
 

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I know what you mean. It's as if being slim is some sort of abnormality, and I do think it's jealousy on the part of some people. And I also don't get how people can get away with being rude about some people's <i>lack</i> of weight, but not about the people who are overweight. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"> Try and just brush it off <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
That's true, greensleeves. I know when I was in 7th grade (1985) I wore a size 1- and I remember those. I don't even think I could DREAM of fitting those- its a matter of bones are too wide. :LOL (If memory serves, that is.) True that they vanity size- why else would you need a "00"? Just go down to the juniors sizes I guess.<br><br>
Grace, I've never told someone they need to eat more- at least a stranger that wasn't my kid. :LOL Nor have I told anybody else how much they should or shouldn't eat. If they ask me how I lost weight, I tell them how I did it- cut out x, y, and z, upped a, b, and c. But I don't say "You should..." I just suggest that if they want an over-all workout, judo is good because that's what's helped me.
 

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It makes me so angry that there is such a small range of acceptable body types in this society. The vast majority of us spend our lives getting criticized for not being That. There's a lot of money in encouraging us to hate ourselves for the way we look. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"> Well anyway -- solidarity from someone who has a hard time finding jeans to fit over her big booty, but has learned to love it anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Greensleeves -- it is equally annoying for bigger people! Some stores don't even carry a size 14! (Which is basically average.)<br><br>
I have a good friend who is super petite and stopped buying women's clothes years ago. She shops exclusively in the boys section at thrift stores. She's totally adorable.
 

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I think both big and small would get less comments, if you would shop in stores specializing in your size. There are stores for petites, like Barami (don't know if you have it). And for larger sizes, too (forgetting names).<br><br>
I'd let the comments roll off your back - they have nothing to do with you - just their feelings about their own weight.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
That's the thing- this store WAS supposed to be for my size. I thought.... There's Talbot's Petites and one other one... But even then, the sizes are weird. They're for really tall skinny people or something. Or fatter shorter people.<br><br>
American Eagle seems to work though. At least that one style.
 

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How irritating. I have always been petite and believe me, I DO eat - I'm trying to gain weight, but it's not happening. I had a similar run-in with a woman at the mall last week when I asked what their lowest jeans size was. She looked at me like I was the devil when I said 4 was too big. I'll have to try American Eagle, since you recommended it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nova22</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How irritating. I have always been petite and believe me, I DO eat - I'm trying to gain weight, but it's not happening. I had a similar run-in with a woman at the mall last week when I asked what their lowest jeans size was. She looked at me like I was the devil when I said 4 was too big. I'll have to try American Eagle, since you recommended it.</div>
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Yes- same idea!<br><br>
Let me know how it works out at American Eagle. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Nathan1097</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Do they make comments to bigger people about what THEY eat to their face?</div>
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All the damn time, unfortunately... I think in part because physical fitness is such an abnormality in this society, the default is <i>not</i> excersizing, so if you're thin, it must be because you don't eat/eat "bird food", and if you're fat, it's because you eat too much/eat junk food.<br><br>
And as for shopping in "size specific stores," I have a few problems with that recommendation: 1) They use unrealistic models, thereby making the fat/thin/short shopper feel abnormal, 2) their idea of petite/plus size may not be my idea of petite/plus size (see "do you have this in a size smaller than 00?" - a totally reasonable question if their "00" is too large), and 3) THEY'RE FREAKING EXPENSIVE, usually for crap merchandise. The only way I can get really good out-of-"normal"-range clothing is to go to a couple really really really expensive clothiers in San Francisco and Berkeley, and pay even more than the crap stuff I overpay for at the chain specialty stores.<br><br>
So this is a more than legitimate complaint...<br><br>
To the OP: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Sorry. But know that you're not alone, and thin people aren't the only ones who get it - it's really anyone who deviates from the itsy bitsy little range of culturally acceptable.
 

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Oh I used to hate buying size 0 pants! I don't have to now(more like an 8/10) but honestly, it drove me nuts. Not only was I not really that skinny(ok I was pretty thin, but smack dab in the middle of what's considered a healthy weight range for my height, and a more muscular than lanky build) but who the hell had the bright idea of size 0 in the first place? Can we start at 1 please? I do exist you know! I always wondered where people shopped who were truly petite, lots of people have a much smaller frame than me, and naturally, not because they don't eat or anything. It's just so silly. I mean here I am, at a healthy weight, in good shape, with typical female curves and all, and I need to shop in specialty stores because everywhere I go, the smallest size is a 4 and it falls off me....and the numbers are skewed that way so that someone who would need a size 12 can buy a 7 and feel good about it? Luckily I didn't mind shopping in the teen type stores and occasionally the kids dept, but then I also didn't need office wear or anything. So anyway I'm not with you right now(still working on that baby weight) but I definitely hear you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Sarah, in time! Are you nursing at all? I found that until I really stopped, the weight wouldn't come off! I think the numbers must not be the same as they were 20 years ago, that's for sure. We could start at 1.... but then the sizes are 1, 3, 5.... As a matter of fact, I remember buying a pair of pants in size 1 at a place called "3/5/7" years back- 20 years ago actually. I can't imagine fitting those now, so I think the sizes are just marked down for ego, as you said.
 

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Yeah, ds is a year old and still nursing all the time. Honestly I'm not too worried about it. I gained a LOT of weight when I was pregnant, so it's easy for me to look at the positive. Instead of 'ds is a year old and I'm still 20lb more than I started with and 15 from where I'd like to be', I get to say 'GO ME! I lost 50-ish pounds this year!' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> I've heard that about nursing, that some bodies hang onto an extra maybe 10 pounds until they wean, it makes sense.<br><br>
The sizing is such an issue, everything is bigger than it used to be. My mom sees it-as a teen she wore a size 4....now she's almost 40, has 20/30 more pounds on her...and can still wear a size 4! If she buys it new anyway, the old stuff is ridiculously small. The other problem is that no two stores size things the same, and some fit different shapes, so it's so hard to find the right place to shop. A place that's perfect for me is impossible for my bustier friends, or the naturally super-skinny one, or someone taller or shorter...and when you do find a place you're stuck with their prices and hope you like the styles! It's part of why I love goodwill and consignment stores, it's always hit or miss for everyone so it's not as frustrating to not find what you need. Anyway I think I'm off topic by now, just wanted to join the thread and be another voice that understands the frustration. People used to say the weirdest things to me about food/excercise/clothes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SarahNH</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yeah, ds is a year old and still nursing all the time. Honestly I'm not too worried about it. I gained a LOT of weight when I was pregnant, so it's easy for me to look at the positive. Instead of 'ds is a year old and I'm still 20lb more than I started with and 15 from where I'd like to be', I get to say 'GO ME! I lost 50-ish pounds this year!' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> I've heard that about nursing, that some bodies hang onto an extra maybe 10 pounds until they wean, it makes sense.</div>
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Yay! Go you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap">
 

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I have the same problem with jeans being very baggy in the back of the legs so I can relate to the OP. Even 'slimfit' or 'petite' ones are the same.<br><br>
Shopping in teen stores or children's departments might work for some people, but in some cases it just replaces one clothes problem with another. I'm petite and look really young to start with so I refuse to wear anything that will make me look even younger! It can indeed be so frustrating that it's so difficult to find clothes that fit, let alone ones that aren't too expensive or are in a style that we like. I just don't go clothes shopping unless I absolutely have to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I never thought of that, dreamlette....<br><br>
I get taken for 17 all the time. If I buy younger-looking clothes....<br><br>
I do look nice in the jeans I eventually got, so, no big deal I guess. People just really won't believe I have three kids!
 

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I run into rudeness about being thin all the time. I have always been thin, (genetics, my father is also extrememly thin and eats like a horse), and I have received awful comments over the years. I had a school physical by a NP when I was in college, she actually told me she was assessing for signs of a eating disorder <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> , but she didn't say anything when she didn't find any! :LOL People seem to think that I'm bragging when I complain about clothing sizes, I'm not, I just want clothes that fit. I am 5'5, so I'm just barely too tall for petite sizes, children's sizes don't fit either, they are made for children with no hips. I may have small hips but they are there! I wear a size 0 as well, I've had the best luck with Old Navy, Gap, sometimes I get lucky and find J Crew clothing at Ross(I won't buy it regularly, too expensive), thrift stores sometimes I have a decent selection in small sizes. I have found several pairs of brand new jeans at our local thrift store, especially at the end of the school year when the college students are leaving for home, and cleaning their closets of clothes that don't fit anymore! I really dislike the clothing sizes, all the size 0's at the above stores fit ok, I could use a size smaller, but they don't make them smaller. What is going to happen if the clothing sizes continue to increase in size? Before too long we'll be wearing size 0000! I don't know why people hassle people who are thin, it is just mean rude, and none of their business to hassle any one about their nutrition. Glad to see others here!
 

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I agree, peole are often envious of thin people and feel like they need to "put them in their place." My grandma used to always grump at me that I was too thin. I have always eaten all day...about every 2-3 hours--and probably a lot more than many people larger than me. When I was pregnant the first time was the worst! Everyone was complaining that I wasn't gaining enough weight and that I was too thin. 35 pounds isn't enough!!?? I went to a breastfeeding and childbirth class when I was 8 months pregnant and everyone else was 5-7 months. I was the smallest one there and got lots of stares and dirty looks. I felt stupid. Wanted to tell everyone to "grow up."<br><br>
My mother in law is really tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny too. She has to buy all of her clothes and shoes in the little girls department. The petite department is waaaay to big for her. Not always too cool when the little girl styles are funky!
 
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