Rules for babysitter

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Yep, that would take care of it ASAP

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I'm getting the impression that the sitter is doing it at her house, not at the OPs (because of references to picking up their DD).

I also use a babysitter, though even more rarely than you. Maybe 5-10 times per year. My rules are basically: spend time with them, try to make sure they eat something, try to get them to bed around their bedtime (a half hour one way or the other is no harm, but three hours later means exhausted grumpy kids the next day.) If they drink soda instead of milk for dinner, or they don't get their teeth brushed, or they watch more TV than they should... I don't worry; it is only one evening in their life. However, if I had a babysitter on a much more regular basis, then I would probably have some firmer rules.

Random thoughts:
Depends - if you have few rules, and no TV is one of them, then I think the babysitter should have gotten the message. If no TV is just one of a ton of other rules, then I think you should prioritize your rules and let some things go.

I'm not too worried about tv, both my DCs watch. However, you have politely told her twice not to watch TV, so I would think the babysitter could listen to that.

On the other hand, I agree with the others, her house, (sort of) her rules, your house, your rules.

If you like her, and the kids like her, I'd give her one more try, but with a clear message that the TV is NOT OK with you. Then the ball is in your court. If it is a huge issue, and this babysitter is not flexible, then time for you to find a new babysitter. If it is a minor issue, then let it slide.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. It's given me something to think about. Yes, she actually sits for us at a friend's house. She's sat for these friends for several years and the friend has been kind enough to let us use their house whenever we want for babysitting. The sitter is in college and still living with her parents so that's why we use the friends house. We live in a rural area and haven't been able to find a sitter near us so that we can use our house. We started looking for a sitter since before we concieved because we knew it'd be hard to find someone local to us. So, this sitter is in the city which is okay since we both work in the city anyway.

We really don't have any other rules. DD is only 10 months old so it's basically feed her, change her diaper and no TV which implies that she'll have to entertain and play with her a bit. I wouldn't mind so much if the TV programs were soap operas, sit coms, cartoons, talk shows or other things of that nature. But Weeds and MTV have language and music that I don't think such a young baby should be exposed to. I've been asking around at work and it seems many people have the same problem as we do. It just kind of baffles me that people who are getting paid to watch someone's kids would completely ignore a no TV rule. It's like it's too much to ask that a person turn off the tube for a few hours...kinda sad actually. Anyway, I'll continue to look for a new sitter and try not to get too worked up about this. Aside from the TV thing we actually have a pretty good setup... well, except for the separation anxiety issue of course.

As someone who babysat from age 11 until right before I was married at 24, on a very regular basis, I think there is no reason why she shouldn't be able to follow your rule regarding TV. I sat for several families that had that rule, and even if they didn't, I rarely turned the tv on, because I felt it was a cop out; I was getting paid to watch the kids, so I should do my job, and not have the tv do that for me s

That said, I think she probably has to have some clue that you are about to head in the door, hear the car pull up, door knob jiggle, something. If she was interested in following the rule, she'd change the channel or turn the tv off in a hurry.

All that said, perhaps you can find a compromise, I did find TV was often a way to get kids to unwind after an active day, but this was at a much older age, maybe you could say, IF you are going to, or want to watch TV with DD, please watch something without bad language, violence, etc. Not necessarily a cartoon, but something more family friendly or educational. Just because the baby's asleep, doesn't mean some of that doesn't get in her head. (I know I have dreams about stuff that I'm listening to - it is kind of freaky)

Even if you eventually have to go with a different sitter, sometimes a compromise is not a bad thing, but I don't think a no TV rule is that uncommon, or difficult to follow. FWIW; I didn't ever babysit in very "crunchy" areas; my dad was a Marine, so it was always other children of Marines that I watched, and other than one or two families, they weren't very AP; they just didn't like their kids watching excessive TV.

I can easily see how watching TV while the baby slept seemed perfectly OK to the sitter. And honestly, given that that is a preverbal infant, I would have to say that worrying about a sleeping baby picking up bad language through TV is pretty far fetched IMHO. MTV -- same thing, even if the baby is awake. Heck, even I can't pick out 1/2 the words when I'm trying, I think it will be a wave of sound to the baby. Its not like she's parking the baby in a swing in front of Baby Einstein and chatting on her cell phone while doing her nails. Personally, I think you are over-reacting a bit. That said, if your child were older I would probably lay out clearer expectations on what was acceptible or not.

Looking at this from the sitters perspective, I am wondering the following -- are there age-appropriate toys and such for the baby at this location? Have you you shown her games and interactive activities that your baby likes? Once the baby is asleep, exactly what do you expect her to do given that she isn't in her home? Would you be happier if she were talking on the phone? Playing on the computer in another room? Not everyone is going to want to read a book, though that would probably be my personal answer.