[GreenGranolaMama]

<p>What do you do about TV related situations outside of your home. Here is my example: DS doesn't watch TV at home and we don't do character related things (he does love Dan Zanes music on Youtube though : P ) But last night my Mom watched him for a few hours and when she dropped him off she said they watched Blues Clues, Sesame Street, and Fraggle Rock. Ok so that's 3 TV shows....... I don't know how long each one is, I'm guessing half hour each?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I seriously doubt that he just sat there the entire time- he has TONS of toys there (the super loud, plastic ones that we don't keep here...) so I am guessing he was playing at the same time, but still. How would you approach this? It's not an everyday thing, maybe once a week but I don't want him watching TV the entire time he is there either. My Mom is of the 'you and your sister watched TV and turned out just fine' frame of mind. </p>

 

[Llyra]

In most situations, I didn't worry about it. They're going to see TV out in the world, at other people's houses and in other places, and it wasn't worth driving myself crazy worrying about it. It was the big picture that counted to me-- the long hours and days and weeks they spent at home, NOT plugged in to the media.<br><br>
But in a situation where a child was going to be someplace regularly--- I think I'd try and negotiate some limits. For example, my kids regularly spend days at my mom's house. My mom sees nothing wrong with the TV. If I tried to tell her they couldn't watch at all, I'd have had a big argument on my hands that I didn't want. But when I suggested to her that if DD1 watched TV for more than about an hour, she was cranky and hard to put to bed at night, mom was willing to listen. I mentioned this a few different times-- mom, I had the heck of a time getting her to sleep last night. Did she watch a lot of TV? After a few repetitions of this, my mom started getting it-- and now she'll tell me proudly about how she let them watch XYZ, but then she turned it off after a half hour and took them outside or something.

 

[crunchy_mommy]

<p>I know everyone on here will likely say free babysitter = gets to spoil them with TV etc.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I've never had someone watch DS (except my sister once for 45mins) but if someone was watching him on a regular basis I would request that no TV be allowed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>However if we are all guests at a party/get-together/etc. and the TV happens to be on for others there, then I would never say anything about it. Same thing if we are at a playdate and someone turns on the TV for their own kid -- their house, their rules, though I might not go there often if TV was routinely part of the playdate! And I guess if someone watched DS in a 'one-time-only' type situation, I'd be disappointed but still not say anything. I would really only worry about routine exposure to it. If your mom is watching him every week & it's important to you that he remains TV-free, I would let her know, but be prepared to find another babysitter if she doesn't want to restrict TV.</p>

 

[faithrainbow]

<p>I grew up in a no-TV household, but my mom didn't stress if it we saw it elsewhere.  I think that really made a difference for us.  TV wasn't "forbidden," it was just that we didn't have one.  I still don't watch TV.  That being said, I think asking your mom to limit viewing to one show per day is quite reasonable.  Maybe pass on a scholarly article about effects of TV on young kids?  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV at ALL for children under the age of 2.</p>

 

[JudiAU]

<p>Personally, I would ask her not to put the tv on while he is over there. He doesn't watch tv because he is too young/ you haven't reviewed the content/ the "doctor says" whatever... He doesn't watch tv. Period.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She probably viewed the tv as normal or a treat or a childcare solution, depending on her relationship with all. But in that situation, I wouldn't allow it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Free babysitter does not equal choose your own rules. I would have to be really hard up financially to agree to change stuff much. If I had a real issue with family care, I would find another care situation (co-op or whatever) and/or not go out. My MIL has tried similar things on another occasion and it just will not work. There is always "bleed" back into our lives over various issues that makes for unpleasantness.</p>

 

[t2009]

<p>I agree with the PPs that you should say something. I've gone through this with my parents. Early on (before I left DS with anyone) we visited and they had the TV on for no real reason (i.e. there was no one watching it) and I suggested turning it off and took the opportunity to say that we were trying to keep DS TV-free for two years at least. That was it, no tirade against the evils of TV, etc. (And it if wasn't my parents house, I likely wouldn't have said anything... we're not super strict about TV when we're out of our own home or immediate circle.) When I finally did leave DS with them for an afternoon, I reminded them gently about the no-TV thing. Since then I've had to run interference with my dad & his iphone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This is all very awkward (especially when your parents of the "you turned out fine" mentality) but necessary boundry-setting. Use whatever excuse you have to to bring it up or to make your point, but just because it's Grandma or just because it's free babysitting doesn't mean that you have to leave ALL of your rules at the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part of it is that they're nervous about keeping up with a toddler or (in my dad's case, I think) having to interact one-on-one with a child and engage them. It can be a real challenge for grandparents who raised us not really thinking about these things, so I think it's a bit of a balance. Once my DS is a bit older, I wouldn't have a problem with him watching 30 min of TV to let grandma have a break but I think now (OP I noticed our LOs are a similar age!) is a good time to set tighter "rules" that you can loosen (if you feel it's appropriate) down the line... The main thing is to get them to at least respect the basic parenting choices that you've made even if they'd do things differently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>

 

[JMJ]

<p>If it was someplace my kid would be regularly, I would set limits.  DD's only TV experience was over Thanksgiving at the house of out-of-town grandparents.  I didn't set any limits, but it was really strange to see my toddler who never sits still not moving for 45 minutes with her eyes fixed on the TV.</p>

 

[Novus]

<p>If it's a special treat kind of situation, I wouldn't worry about it, but if it's a regular childcare situation, I'd bring it up.  I'd probably begin by offering up lots of ideas of alternate activities (I know that TV gets a lot more tempting as the weather cools down!), but if she continued letting him watch a lot of TV while he's over there, I'd say something more direct.  Oh, and I always pull out the "Such-and-such organization recommends xyz" reasoning when confronted with the "We did this with you & you turned out fine," line from my mom.  It seems to go over better because it places the "blame" on the organization instead of her feeling like I'm attacking the way she raised me.</p>